My partner doesn't accept that his sisters are bullies
My partner is one of five brothers. Two of his sisters in law have taken over the role of 'running the family'. ALL events are organized by them; everything goes through them. The biological family (parents and brothers) are happy with this. I have been with my partner for eleven years. For some reason, these two sisters in law have always acted like two high school girls in a click. They have never included me in email invitations. When I used to go to family events, they would not talk to me. When we hosted something, in his house as we don't live together, they would literally give me the silent treatment. They would say hello to everyone except for me. They would spread stupid but very offensive rumors about my son or me. Those rumors were always lies.
I have told my partner from the beginning of their behavior. His response was always that it's not possible that they would act that way because 'they are great people'. The truth is that both are very manipulative and know how to act really nicely with the brothers or the parents. When he has seen some bad behavior, he just writes it off and says maybe I did something that offended them. I think that me having a foreign accent has made it easier for them to bully me. My partner always told me this 'war' was in my mind only; that I was welcome by them and was invited to family events through the invitation they always sent to him (without my name or my son's name).
Finally, after years of endless arguments, he asked them to include me in emails. Well, then they started inviting him by phone, instead of email. Again, after endless arguments, he agreed to ask them to include me in any type of invitation. Since they haven't anyway, he has called them to confront them, to which they FINALLY replied they don't want me there. They both proceeded to list their reasons, and they are all complete lies. My partner, and this is an ENORMOUS progress for him, has finally acknowledged they are not being nice to me, but still wonders why they are 'hurt' that they can't include me. He cannot believe they are just being mean. It is so humiliating, hurtful and offensive that he won't support me. It has caused so much damage to us!
My point is that I need a therapist that will be able to help with this. We used to do therapy together just about this issue. The therapist, however, dismissed my complaint about my partner's lack of loyalty to me. He kept on saying "what can we do so that they will 'get along' better?" These women are bullies. We do not not get along; they are a click and act like one. We have never had a disagreement about anything. They have just decided they will exclude me and my partner just goes along with that. He spends Thanksgivings and Xmases with them, while my son and I spend them with my family. He says it's my choice. I don't really have another choice if I'm not welcome. He doesn't get it and the therapist didn't either. Do you have a recommendation for a therapist that has worked on situations like this one, where one partner will place his primary loyalty to family of origin and not partner? I would really appreciate any leads. Thanks!