Burglary and Feeling Safe at Home

Hello! I'm sorry this happened to you. This happened to me too a quite a while ago (although before I had kids). Here are some ideas: 1) Explain that burglars don't go into houses when people are home because they are just as scared of us as we are of them! 2) Do some things to make it look more like you are at home more often--lights on a timer, shoes outside the door, radio on near the door 3) If you feel like getting an alarm system, I would recommend Ring. Very easy to install (all bluetooth) DIY. This is especially helpful if you are worried someone might be in your house as you come home. If you have an alarm, you know they aren't. And, Ring is cheaper than other systems. You can have monitoring for an extra cost if you want. 4) If you don't want an alarm system, you could just get a sign that indicates that you do. Ring sells a solar sign you can put in the front yard that lights up at night. It's not too obtrusive. Beware of dog signs can accomplish a similar thing. As long as you look a little more trouble than the house next door, they will move along. I had someone come down my driveway to check my back gate. This was at a time that lots of people were having bikes stolen out of backyards. He looked at the sticker I have on my gate saying that I had a video monitoring system and left. I have it on video so it was interesting to watch. But, I think he would have turned around even if I didn't have the video and just the sticker. 

With littles--depending how little, it might be a fun game to "trick the burglars!" and let them help you install all the easy stuff. I also got a small safe and put it in my linen closet--screwed it down to a shelf so it can't be grabbed and taken away. I keep important papers, money, and extra keys in there which makes me feel better too. 

I hope that helps give you some ideas to get back to having some peace of mind! 

I’m so sorry this happened to your family! I agree with the person who recommended creating visible deterrents. Doing those things together (even if they’re small changes) can help with feelings of powerlessness. In addition to that, I think these are the kinds of times when ritual can be really helpful for moving through a difficult, visceral experience and getting to the other side. The ritual(s) can be anything—your kids could help brainstorm what kinds of actions or images would help them. Often there’s some kind of imbuing an object with the feelings you want to move out (like the fear); maybe you could all write or draw them. You could either share them or not, and then find a way to transform them (some people like burning them, but just be sure you have a safe way to do this). And/or you could find performative ways to “heal” or reclaim the house. You can get creative with this. Inviting friends/family/neighbors to participate could feel more reassuring, too.

Going through the creative and ritual process together will likely help things feel better. If there’s some fun involved, especially at the end, that can be really restorative.

My best suggestion is to put in an alarm, like ADT, which can be set when leaving the house,

or even if you are home.

They provide a sign to put in your yard which is a deterrent in of itself. Also, statistically, a 

house is rarely if ever burglarized a second time. 

Hope this is helpful.

I'm so sorry! We had a couple of burglaries when our kids were really small, so they weren't aware of anything, but we sure were! One thing we did was have someone from the city or county (I forget which) come by for a security assessment. It was free, and helped us understand what we could and couldn't control in terms of home security - ie, our house is very small so it's easy for someone to see if we're home or not. We were able to make a few changes that helped us feel better at the time. Long-term (maybe not yet), it was helpful to cultivate gratitude for all that we have (including the ability to replace things) and consider that people who burglarize are generally not doing that as their first-choice occupation. Wishing you all peace of mind and restored comfort in your home!!