Can Transitional Kindergarten support high-energy kid with issues?
Hi everyone, Our son was assigned to the T.K. program at LeConte for the 2018/19 school year. I'd like to hear feedback please from parents whose kids have done Transitional Kindergarten at either LeConte or at King Child Development Center. I checked the archives, I don't see anything helpful about King CDCs TK. Were considering getting on the waiting list to transfer our son to King, but I;m really hoping to get some advice and feedback from the community here first, to hear about your experiences, whether good or bad, Etc. I'm sure LeConte is nice, but we were hoping for King for several reasons. And, one of our son's preschool mates who he just "graduated" with was assigned to King... and his parents and I really were hoping for them to be together. A couple of additional notes and thoughts for us: * Our son is very bright, VERY full of energy, and definitely ready as far as academics are concerned, but still occasionally really struggles with his bigger emotions and with following directions (i.e., even though he's an exceptionally sweet and sensitive person, sometimes if he feels really angry or embarrassed it just overwhelms him and he either shuts down/hides or goes the opposite path and will lash out/hit). We take a pretty serious non-violent, "Daniel Tigers Neighborhood"; (LOL) approach in a lot of ways when it comes to helping him through these anger episodes and difficult moments, and his preschool has also been amazing in supporting him. What we do works well. But Im concerned about how teachers at school might handle this.... especially since he's going to be going from a 1:6 teacher to student ratio at his preschool all the way up to a 1:20 or more ratio at TK. Anybody have any experience with the teachers of TK at either location recently, and any thoughts on how they've handled helping kids at this age/stage learn self-discipline, how they approach reward versus punishment systems, etc.? Basically, if we get somebody who is old-school and uses taking away recess time or shaming as punishment, it is seriously not going to work. Any time that our son has excess energy and he needs to run it off, if he's not able to do that his behavior just goes downhill faster. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt... thanks in great part to our amazing preschool weve come to know that taking things away from him and forcing him to try to sit still or shaming him dont usually work well. Getting down on his level and helping him empathize, and then helping him redirect his energy if he is still having a hard time or being defiant, does work. * He also, since he was a newborn, has struggled with chronic constipation. He is under care of his pediatrician, a naturopath, and Stanford Childrens for this organic constipation, present from birth (starting at just days old, breastfed only). They still have not been able to ascertain the cause. We have a letter from from the Dr. stating that he needs to have unrestricted access to the bathroom, that he should never be instructed to not use the bathroom etc, so hopefully that should help. So Im wondering, has anybody else had any experience with either LeConte or King when there is a medical issue such as this? Do either of them use a reward system for helping reinforce potty use? Don't need advice about constipation, thanks, weve tried it all including diet/nutrition ;) Just wondering how the schools handle this or similar issues. Thanks!
Parent Replies
Thank you for sharing about your son to the community and about your concerns. As a local TK teacher, I wanted to add that your son's cognitive abilities, behaviors, and temperament are all common for children entering TK.
TK is a blessing of a year, because, without it, kids would be jumping straight into kindergarten. Most TK teachers realize this and try to provide a balancing act of preschool play and choice with student skills to get students ready for kindergarten. TK teachers know they have to devote a lot of time with kids on how to express big emotions appropriately. Actually, that is the main work of TK, and your child will still get as much individualized attention as possible.
As you mentioned, the biggest change for your son will be the teacher:student ratio. This is a hard transition, from home or preschool into TK or K, and teachers know this is hard. Your child will get less individualized attention purely because of the ratio. However, if your teacher is worth their salt (and if you don't see this happening, you can talk to them about creating something), your teacher will provide alternatives for your son to do during activities that he may have trouble focusing on and will make a logical protocol about what to do when having a big emotion. Both of these help your child grow self-control and self-monitoring as they are not about the teacher solely intervening and managing your child's mood for him. These kinds of systems take time to develop however.
An example of both: if your son has a hard time sitting on the carpet for morning circle or read aloud, the teacher may say its Ok for your son to play quietly at a table or do jumping jacks in the back of the room vs. forcing your son to join the class. The difference from preschool is that he will not have a teacher with him during those times. If your son is consistently physical with others, the teacher might work on a specific protocol with your child about calming down, how to appropriately respond in those situations, etc. Hopefully, "punishment" through missing things will not be involved. Reward systems are en vogue now, so it is likely your son's classroom will have some kinds of reward system in place for all students.
If things seem to continue as they have done for your son and you feel that what is going on needs to be addressed more formally, you can ask for an SST (Student Study Team) to convene. This usually consists of the classroom teacher, principal, you, and other support staff to talk about your son's specific needs and how to help him be successful in the classroom. Your teacher may feel the desire to have an individualized behavior plan and reward system for your son on top of the classroom reward system to help him navigate what is going.
The important thing is to take a deep breath. TK is different from preschool, and the goal is to work with the teacher to help your child interact appropriately with other kids, hopefully engage with the teacher and class activities and, if that is too challenging, how to navigate appropriately doing other activities. There will be more emphasis on your child taking up the mantel of controlling his own behavior as the ratio has shifted.
That all being said, kids are amazing. It is quite possible that your son will come to TK, with more mature peers than in preschool, and rise to the occasion concerning self-control.