Seeking welcoming congregation for Bar Mitzvah guidance

Hello,

My son is 11yo and has not had any formal Jewish education. I had been planning to start classes for his Bar Mitzvah at 10yo but then covid and sheltering came along. I am looking to make this an introduction for both of us to a warm, welcoming congregation with good humor and sense of community as the general feel. In the past,I know kids would be part of a Bar Mitzvah "class" that tracked through to the actual event. He provides a sigh when I bring it up but then does ask when he will start learning Hebrew so I am hoping that means he is taking the expected process seriously. We have been going to various family High Holy day services yearly since he has been 3, he enjoys being part of a group, will hum the few culturally Jewish songs I know, and really enjoyed the sense of belonging at an outdoor Hanukkah event this past year. I think we are both ready to enter this process and be part of a family-friendly congregation. (A side note- tight finances at home these days but hoping that will change this year.)

Any guidance, recommendations, suggestions for Bar Mitzvah training is greatly appreciated.

Parent Replies

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My wonderful mother-in-law, Rabbi Lynn Gottlieb, has been teaching bar mitzvah students for decades, and is warm, funny, and kind. She teaches over zoom and outdoors in Berkeley these days- send her an email! Rabbilynng [at] gmail.com 

My family is active at Temple Israel in the city of Alameda. Our temple is a warm, welcoming congregation that surrounds you with good humor and a sense of community. It was established in 1920 for an active group of Jews in Alameda, which is family-oriented. Phone 510-522-9355. 

The educator is also our Cantor, Brian Reich. Our daughter was bat mitzvah’ed and had wonderful support. Please send an email to Cantor Brian, as we call him, at educator [at] templeisraelalameda.org. Copy the Rabbi and Office at Rabbi [at] templeisraelalameda.org and Office [at] templeisraelalameda.org. Rabbi Chester has bar/batmitzvah’d many youngsters. Sarai is our responsive Office Manager.

You and your son are invited to weekly Friday night services and to celebrate the several annual holidays with children his age. For now, most of this is on Zoom. We are a family oriented Reform synagogue, with easy access and lots of parking. Best to you and your son, Joyce Chelouche August (JC Gma)

Definitely look into Kehilla Community Synagogue! The BBM program is wonderful. The students attend school together (may be on zoom right now) and during the final preparation work in dyads. Families break into chavurot and meet together for shabbat meals and support. My kids (now 26 and 19) are still friends with their bar mitzvah partners and we are still friends with some of the parents. The ceremonies are meaningful and incorporate whatever works for that student and family (ie very religious family or interfaith, LGBTQ, POC, learning differences etc) I'm kvelling just thinking of how amazing it is!

Check out Temple Isaiah of Lafayette. It is a very family friendl,y welcoming, forward thinking congregation.