Are pricey preschools worth it?

Hi there. I'm curious to hear people's opinions on this subject. I have a 2 yr old and a 7 yr old daughter and we live in Alameda. I sent my older daughter to Parks and Rec Preschool in Alameda which is an old fashioned, simple, half-day, play based preschool. It's been around for a long time. They don't have new philosophies or methods. The kids play with classic toys (Legos, My Little Ponies, blocks, toy kitchens). They have circle time, motor fitness, craft, story time, snack time and playground time. They also don't really teach reading or writing. And it's cheap! My kid enjoyed it and she's been doing very well in elementary school.

My sister on the other hand, who lives in the LA area, sent her kids to a beautiful expensive Reggio Emilia school. Each child was encouraged to explore a different topic of their choice, whether it be airplanes or bugs or whatever, and they would have an art project and books and I don't remember what else but they'd have tools to help them learn about that subject. Basically they'd cater to their individual learning needs and curiosities. The art they created was out of this world. The play yard was gorgeous and magical with a giant ongoing loom in the center for kids to add to when they wanted. The play room had creative mini versions of items in the adult world for pretend play and a climbing structure. No old toys. And the art room...I could spend all day in there. And the teachers were so trained and so wonderful. Of course, it cost an arm and a leg! My sister's kids seemed to come out just as fine as my daughter.

I'm looking now at preschools in the area for my younger child. There are so many kinds. Here in Alameda it's mostly Montessori but in Oakland and Berkeley there are some unique and progressive looking ones that are mostly expensive (and for me I'd have to drive my kid a little further). And I find myself getting wrapped up in all the choices, drooling over the progressive ones. Ooh they have such nice wooden toys, they make tea from their garden, they do yoga, they spent a week making a giant water structure in the backyard! Sign ME up!! When really I wonder, does it really matter if you send your child to a pricey preschool with all the bells and whistles or it it just as good to send them to a good old fashioned, safe, playful preschool for less money? 

What are your opinions?

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IMHO -  it just as good to send them to a good old-fashioned, safe, playful preschool for less money. My kids barely remember pre-school. Imagination is fostered with cardboard boxes just as well as with brand new wooden ones. If you have the money, go for it. But if there is an opportunity cost, don't feel guilty about a less costly option.

Honestly, as long as a child is safe,

cared for & loved, and has room to play and explore, I don't think it matters! Our oldest child went to a pricey private language immersion school for 3 years before Kindergarten. Things changed for us and so our youngest went to a play-based homecare preschool in our neighborhood. The ladies at the homecare preschool were lovely!! Now, my oldest son remembers none of the language he was fluent in at age 6, and our youngest son is bright and has reading and math skills off the charts. You are the best one to decide a good fit with your child that takes into account your family's financial situation as well. Stressed parents will not make the costly private school worth it in the end. Good luck! 

I could have written your post a year ago when we were touring preschools. I too looked at some pricey Reggio and Montessori schools and was dazzled by them. But ultimately we went with a less expensive school with no defined "philosophy" but that has loving teachers, is conveniently located, and had better hours than the fancier schools (my husband and I both work full time). When I added up the cost of three years at one of the pricey schools, including the cost of backup childcare on the many days and weeks these schools were closed throughout the year, the total came to close to $100,000! 100 grand for preschool! While I loved the thoughtfulness that they put into their curriculum, and the qualifications of the teachers were impressive (many had Masters degrees in early childhood education), I just can't believe it's necessary to devote those kinds of financial resources to education at this stage of childhood. I mean, many *high school* teachers don't have Masters degrees! I would rather save those resources for a private high school or college, if that turns out to be what my child needs.  

My daughter has been very happy at her less fancy preschool. I have absolutely no doubt she will do fine in kindergarten and beyond. We practice many Reggio principles at home through ordinary parenting, and to be honest, I've observed her preschool teachers doing so as well - even though it's not officially a Reggio school. A lot of it is just common sense understanding of child development, and being respectful and encouraging of the child's natural inquisitiveness and interests. If you can find a school where the teachers get this, I think you will be happy - even if it doesn't have all the bells and whistles of a fancier, "progressive" school. 

Lastly, while I was going through this a year ago, a friend with a school age child pointed out to me that some kids never go to preschool at all - and most of them turn out fine! While I think it's certainly ideal for kids to have some preschool education, remember that preschool itself  is optional. It's certainly not going to damage your kid for life to go with a less expensive school. Good luck in your search!

Having sent my 3 kids to both "fancy" and low-key preschools over the years, I really don't think there's a difference in the end.  In fact, I'd venture to say that the kid who went to the less expensive preschool had a better time.  True, they didn't go on field trips or have chickens or create their own superheroes, but they did spend time working on being good friends and helping clean up and other life skills.  In my book, any place where your kid feels safe and happy is a good preschool -- everything else will even out once they hit elementary school.  I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "Sign ME up!": The bells and whistles sound fabulous -- and they probably are -- but they aren't even remotely necessary for a good preschool experience.

Seems to me that 90% of the education happens at home, so it doesn't matter a whole lot where your kids go to school. I would make sure that they are having a good time and enjoying preschool. In addition, spending more time in the car is a bore and a fuel waster. So find something close to home. 

So my first response is, no, it doesn't make a difference in the long run. If the local, cheap preschool was safe and sweet and served your older kid well, IMO you should use it again. 

I used both, my local parks and rec (el cerrito) and a progressive preschool, and I absolutely hated it because they were sexist and ignored my daughter because she was quiet and compliant, which left her lonely all day as she had no friends. That stunk. So we switched to a third option (no matter what, we couldn't afford those fency-pents preschools), which is a cooperative preschool. Typically, they are just as progressive as those other ones, but with the added benefit that parents help to run the school, so you come out of the experience with a load of new friends and a great community. 

I'd also say you get a more diverse community at the Parks and Rec and co-op options, and that was more of a consideration for me than, like, tea-yoga. ;) 

I remember going through this same situation years ago.  I have a daughter who is 14 now and I thought that a fancy preschool was necessary.  My husband won and we sent our daughter to a preschool that had warm, loving and attentive teachers.   Looking back, my husband was right and I am glad that we choose a preschool that was nurturing, loving and attentive.  

My daughter, now 16 and doing great in regular, old-fashioned public high school, went to a combination of a lower-priced private Montessori and public Parks and Rec. At the time, as well as looking back on her preschool experience, she really liked the Montessori better because there was more structure and more emphasis on learning age-appropriate life skills. Neither preschool taught academics. I choose these preschools based on price, location and hours, not any philosophy. As it turned out, the life skills learned in Montessori, really to this day, have been a great factor in her self esteem and confidence. But the philosophy is the philosophy and it doesn't have to be at a fantastic, expensive school; look for a school with a low turnover rate, both in terms of teachers and students, I believe that is the most important measure of a private school.

in my experience, the most important quality of a "good" preschool is caring, committed, empathetic teachers. Kids learn so much from just exploring the world with other kids and adults, even if that world has old toys. I'm not really sure what you mean by kids "coming out fine" - are you talking academically? Socially? I can't imagine that looms or yoga really make a difference at this age.

As an Alameda parent of a now-5th grader in a top-rated area public school, I can tell you that my child's classmates came from a wide variety of preschools, and I see no connection between preschool prestige and current success. One of the top students I know for a fact went to the Parks and Rec preschool. 

Your post caused me to reflect back on our preschool choice, a neighborhood Montessori, and in looking back, I am grateful for that choice, not because of fancy extras, but because that school fosters an amazing parent/family community and we developed family friends that we still have to this day.  

I do understand your doubts, as we have so many choices in the Bay Area, it is easy to feel like someone made a better choice and think of all the "what-ifs." Also, I had the feeling at another preschool tour that everything was so appealing, I was ready to "sign up myself" as you describe. But then I thought about what my child really required and realized that those bells and whistles really appealed to me and wouldn't really mean anything to her. By the way, the fact that your older daughter did "just fine" with Parks and Rec, leads me to feel you answered your own question and just need validation. You can contact me off list if it would help. Good luck in your decision.

No, they are not worth it. Pick a preschool that is convenient to where you live, that you and your kid feel good about.  Save your money for later when they will get something out of it.  Don't underestimate the value of a local preschool where you will make friends with parents who you'll run into for years to come. Your child will not remember any of the kids at preschool and very little of preschool activities but you will be building a community!

Our daughter attends a kindergarten class at Berkeley Rose School. We have been there for a full year and some. The school is located in the heart of Berkeley. In Kindergarten the curriculum is play based. She works on handwork, play, art and more play. They only have wooden toys in the room. She absolutely adores school and has never once said she doesn't want to go to school. You mentioned magical spaces in the expensive LA preschool but I think Berkeley Rose School is pretty magical and the cost is less than many private schools in the area. Additionally, tuition assistance may be available. The school has Parent-child, Nursery, preschool, kindergarten and grades 1-4 with plans to add an additional grade each year up to 8th grade. This school might be a way to have both a magical and play-based preschool that incorporates art, imagination, music, language and physical play into learning without being hit with typical overwhelming costs of private education. The school has an open house on November 19th and a Winter Faire with activities for children on December 3rd. I invite you to check it out as it could be the perfect balance for a private magical school that costs less