And They Canceled AGAIN
We are lucky to have quite a few lovely sets of mama/kid friends. Since I have a flexible work schedule and tend to keep a somewhat neat-ish house, the play dates usually happen at our place. I'm most often the one to reach out with ideas and invitations plus I'm often the one prep-cleaning and setting up as well as cleaning up after. This set-up isn't balanced and I was frustrated by this at first as a new mom, but I think it is just reality in today's busy world. I have an only child (second grader) and the world isn't such that kids can wander their neighborhoods anymore, so this is the new reality. What IS frustrating, though, is that it seems like we get many enthusiastic yes-reponses and then people often cancel last minute or fail to show. More than once this summer we'd have ten or so yes RSVPs that then dwindled to none actually attending in mere hours. If we had known earlier, we could have made other plans. Depending on the activity, my kid is bummed or crushed by all the no-shows. I am okay with my kid being disappointed sometimes. That's life. But I don't think my mama friends who are joiners rather than instigators understand how it feels and I'm tired of how often it happens. When we get an invite, I check our calendar to make sure we aren't overextended and to try to anticipate if my child will be too tired from a previous activity. If I think it will work fine, I then give my kid a choice about participating and RSVP accordingly. When the time comes, we only cancel if there's illness or something important/unforseen. If my kid is tired or not-so-interested when the time comes, we honor our commitment but simply don't stay as long. I think this is simply polite, but am I just old fashioned? And am I not considering how other cultures function? I'd like to speak up and let them know we'd appreciate if they would RSVP more thoughtfully, but am not sure how to do that without sounding preachy. Thanks for any insights and advice!