Advice on childcare with toddler and baby #2

Hi BPN folks,

I’m looking for different options for childcare for siblings close in age down the line, as we are expecting baby #2 when our son will be 19 months. We are both full-time working parents. I don’t have maternity leave for when #2 arrives, but I may have some mother-in-law help plus a few weeks of disability leave. However, my MIL is also in her late 70s, (completely ambulatory but still).

Cost is definitely a consideration, so hiring a full-time nanny for 2 kids is likely not be affordable for us. However, I’m not ruling anything out at the moment. I also have my own parents who could help out, but they are still 6 hours away so it would not be a full-time thing. I am less concerned about the immediate post-delivery time (since I do think I’ll have a few weeks disability), but more concerned about long run when I’m back at work full swing. Another additional piece to the puzzle is that my MIL will in fact be staying with us long-term, which actually complicates it because while she is willing to help, we can’t expect her to be the full-time caregiver (she doesn’t have a license either, and we will be applying for a green card for her, so she is really not assimilated here). So I also don’t know what a good balance might be because I know she will want to have some part in taking care of the grandkids, but I need to find a solution that would probably be part-time preschool for toddler, part-time infant care, and part-time let-grandma-have-a-role-as-well. Thoughts/suggestions welcome! Thanks.

Parent Replies

New responses are no longer being accepted.

An au pair, if you have a spare bedroom.

Infant care, at a childcare center, tends to be the most expensive, and has longest waitlists. Get on them ASAP  I would get the toddler into care at a local center if you can.  And when you can, start getting the infant a few days a week at the same center, if possible, as well.  Let the MIL help a few days, but yes, in her late 70s, it will be challenging to fully rely on her.  Good luck.

You should visit a few home-based family daycares in your neighborhood.  They might offer more flexibility in terms of hours, and they are an affordable option when you have two young children, compared to the cost of a larger childcare center or a nanny.  They are great for very young children with their home-like setting, and many daycares also have preschool programs for older kids. Another option you could consider is planning for you or your husband to reduce work hours temporarily for a few years, so you can patch together childcare until the kids start preschool and/or kindergarten. It can be an opportunity to rethink your long-term career goals, too. When my 2nd child was born and daycare for two kids basically consumed all of my paycheck, I decided to go back to school and get a graduate degree. I qualified for grants and loans, I found a part-time office job, and I could arrange my schedule around my kids, unlike when I was working full time. By the time the youngest started elementary school I had a new career path that considerably raised my earning potential over what it was before. Not for everyone, but it worked for me!