15-year-old daughter wants septum piercing
HI all - the archives on this issue are pretty old, so I'm hoping for some new responses. Our almost 15-year old daughter is lobbying hard to be allowed to get her septum pierced when she turns 15. She started asking at age 14, and I had originally said 18, then compromised at 16. But she continues to press her case to do it at 15. As someone who got my nose pierced at age 22 back in 1983, when NO ONE was doing it (and to this day I never regretted it), I'm hard pressed to come up with a reason why she shouldn't other than that it just feels like too much at this age. Which of course she doesn't buy. Advice from anyone who's been in this spot would be appreciated. She turns 15 on June 21.... :-/
May 29, 2022
Parent Replies
Mine got hers done at about the same age. My rule was you can get anything pierced as long as it won't show visible scars- so the septum piercing seemed a perfect solution. She also originally had the horseshoe-shaped ring so she could twist it and hide inside her nose so she wouldn't give her grandparents a heart attack and so she could play sports without worrying about ripping open a piercing. I thought she looked like a bull but it was her choice not mine. Now she has a more traditional full ring in and it looks fine. I don't love it, but it's fine. And I, like you, pierced my nose in 1985, but I did regret it because eventually I stopped liking it and now it looks like a permanent zit on the side of my nose. :)
like you, i had multiple piercings, many done myself, back in the 80s/90s. My kid asked for a septum piercing at 16 and i gave permission, but i would have said yes earlier. Honestly, it is one of the least regrettable body mods they can get--there is no external scar, they can tuck a piercing if they get the right kind of jewelry. I don't really see a downside. If you are worried about a landslide of piercings, maybe stick to the line of, since there isn't any kind of external scarring, I will allow this one now, and I want to stick to my original agreement on anything else. I have quite a few small scars but no regrets either. And I just hired a twenty-something with a septum ring in my mainstream health workplace.
My daughter who is 17 also really wanted to pierce (and tattoo) herself starting about a year ago. We told her she couldn't until she was 18. Then one night about 6 months ago she came down from her bedroom to tell us she had pierced her ear (higher on the lobe than what she had done by the store when she was 14). She was very proud of herself. I think the experience empowered her to start tattooing herself, which she did secretly after a friend gave her a home kit. She started with a few small tattoos on her hands and now has a medium size on her front. Most recently she pierced her bottom lip. At first my reaction was shock that she did it herself, then impressed with her ingenuity, and now I've learned to accept it as part of who she is. It feels very much like an act of expression for her. I worry that if I push back she will do a lot more and it will be more about rebellion. I am embracing it as part of what she needs to go through and most importantly I weigh it against all the other things she could be doing that are so much more harmful.
My 14 1/2 year old wants to get her nose pierced (nostril) and I wouldn’t mind it except that her nose is quite tiny and I think that it’s likely to be uncomfortable for her. The other big issue is that my daughter is very athletic and she plays basketball almost year round. No jewelry is allowed in competitive basketball. I told her that she needs to wait until there is a long enough break in basketball so that the piercing can heal because you can’t take it out for the first couple months.
While my daughter waits to possibly get her nose pierced, I have bought some little stick-on fake jewels and tiny nostril hoops that don’t need to go through a piercing. I’m hoping that she’ll be satisfied with these rather than risking a keloid scar or other piercing-related problem. At first she rejected the fake nose piercing accessories but then she started trying them on and she has enjoyed wearing them.