Psychologist for 4.5 year old who doesn't pee or poop in potty
Hello, my silly, charming 4.5 year old girl has no interest in peeing or pooping in the potty. She says she will go on the potty "when she is a grownup". I'm looking for a child psychologist or other expert who can help guide us through this process. The most popular recommendation on BPN, Meg Zweiback, has unfortunately passed away. My daughter knows when she has to go, can hold it, and can change her own pull-ups (with pee). When we tried traditional potty training, she started holding both pee and poop, causing severe constipation. We have backed off for more than a year but her interest in using the potty isn't changing and it's starting to become a problem at school, etc. We are looking for someone who can help us unravel what's going on in her head so that she can make a successful transition to the potty.
Parent Replies
Some parents would not approve but we had that problem and used bribery.My grandson really likes Mr.Mopps toy store so we told him we would take him and buy something he wanted if he would use the potty at school(which he would never do) and then when he would poop in a potty.I was not expecting he would poop in the potty as that seemed like something he really did not want to do.He surprised me and I followed through with our outing to the toy store the next day.
Oh my gosh, when I read your daughter's reply I had to respond. My then-four-year-old son used to say "when I'm a teenager" when I asked him when he would poop I the potty (he did pee) and "because I like it" when I asked why he pooped in his underwear (every day when he got home from preschool.) I tried EVERYTHING, and eventually recognized that it was a power struggle. It all ended when he got his heart absolutely set on a pair of Buzz Lightyear light up sandals. He wanted them, and I bargained (one could say bribed...) that he had to poop 10 times in the potty. We made a chart. And it was over. I'm not suggesting that this approach would necessarily work for your daughter, and I recognize that it is something that has become chronic. I hope that you can find your way to a solution. I just wanted to let you know your are not alone. Good luck to you.