Connecting w/parents of teens/young adults w/high-functioning ASD

I’m the mom of a college-age daughter with high-functioning autism, hoping to connect with others in the same boat.  My daughter wasn’t diagnosed until high school, so we weren’t plugged into autism groups from a young age. At this point, all my friends have neurotypical kids and I am having a hard time connecting with fellow moms about parenting issues. I haven’t been able to find any recent BPN listings that are relevant, so any recommendations would be appreciated. I’ve attended Zoom support groups with AANE and those are somewhat helpful, but I’d really like to meet other parents here in the East Bay to develop more of a local community/network. If anyone is in a similar situation and might want to chat over coffee, please feel free to send me a direct message. Looking to meet others who “get it.”

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Hi there, I hear you.  In a similar situation, except mine is middle school.  It would be really nice to have a weekly support group … when daily life is such a struggle.  I’m happy to connect in the meanwhile. 

I'd suggest this group:

It is relatively new and growing quickly. We live in Oakland, but have been more active in the Contra Costa chapter. I know that there are parents with kids your age in the Contra Costa chapter, not sure about the Alameda one. They have many social opportunities for kids and parents.

I am not sure about those who identify with "high functioning" is a bit of a controversial label. You may want to google "why is high functioning autism offensive." You will find some good info about why professionals and people with autism believe in abandoning that term and way of thinking about autism.

Hi - mom of an eighth grade boy with ASD here. A great resource to find other parents is the Facebook group East Bay Autism Parents. Although many of the posts are by parents of younger kids, there are plenty of parents of older kids who may be interested in connecting. 

Hi, I have a 14 year old daughter with ASD and ADHD. Also in the East Bay and would love to see if I was situations are similar enough that we could support each other. Would love to chat and see. Not sure how we move forward? Thanks for posting!

I have a 20 yo who was diagnosed with ASD at 18. There is an active google group asnld-parent-support [at] that has been a real help to me. It meets monthly on zoom and there are many email exchanges. Happy to connect with you! Feel free to email. 


I would be interested in opportunities to meet with other families who have kids/teens or older, to build community and possibly a place for neurodivergent kids to meet. My daughter is in 6th grade and is having a hard time connecting with other kids at school. Would love to connect and chat.

I hear ya. Looking for same. I have twin 20-year-olds. The boy we have known has ADHD and ASD for many years. His sister we only learned has ADHD in 2020, and we are right now assessing her for ASD.

It is just so hard.

S. Jones

This is more pointedly in response to Fredclay's reply. I've been really keen to find a community for our neurodivergent teen. I'm not sure what such a group would look like as there are numerous challenges (the kids are all so different; they are of different ages; they often have a difficult time in connecting with others, particularly kids; it's no longer cool (for my 16 year, anyway) for your parents to shepherd you).

I did have the idea of a low-stake regular meet-up, perhaps at a cinema, and then, if the group was feeling that way inclined, to go for a beverage afterwards. Another idea I had was a meet-up at 924 Gilman (the music venue in Berkeley. No alcohol. Teen bands).

Lastly, if there are any serious chess players out there, my son would love to have some chess friends who are not old enough to be his grandparent.

It would be great to get parents together for support and find ways to get teens together.  My kiddo was diagnosed on the autism spectrum about 5 months ago just before turning 18.  I looked at the group suggested by deets - but I don't want to get sucked back into facebook . . . Is there another way to connect to folks?!  We have enough parents in this thread to create our own support group.

Hey! I’d like to connect if you want. I am struggling with using groups that engage in Facebook. It’sa pretty big barrier for me. I like your idea of trying to gather enough interest here and see what we can come up with. Parents of autistic children are nothing if not resourceful! 

I would be keen for us to find a way to connect outside social media. Can we start an email group? Or Whatsapp, if that is available to everyone?

Hi, I have a 13yo nonbinary child who just received a diagnosis and I am struggling to get my bearings too. I would be interested in talking with others, maybe building up a support group if one doesn't exist. 

Hello ,

I am in Bay Area , if you are okay we can chat over Zoom .