Advice about Snoring

Parent Q&A

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  • Hi parents,

    We are awaiting a referral to a pediatric ENT and will also bring this up with our son's dentist when we see her in a month and a half, but I'm crowd-sourcing parent experience in the meantime.  For about the last year we've noticed our 5.5 year old son audibly (loudly) breathes with his mouth open and at night goes thru periods of time where he loudly grinds his teeth and occasionally snores. The mouth-breathing and snoring seem to happen even if he doesn't seem congested.  He doesn't have any allergies that we're aware of, nor any other chronic medical conditions, although we feel he is also neurodiverse (he will have neuropsychology testing in the coming months to assess for ADHD/ASD and anxiety).

    Do any parents of neurodiverse kids have experience with mouth-breathing while awake, bruxism and occasional snoring?  Besides the ENT and pediatric dentist, has anyone noticed improvements with craniosacral therapy or chiropractic adjustments (and if so who do you recommend)?  Thanks in advance!

    Parent here, not a medical professional. We did have one of our children need ear tubes so have experience with a pediatric ENT and minor surgery - this was actionable because child couldn't hear, ie., affecting daily life and function. None of the things you describe sound actionable to me (parent of 12 & 14 yos). I might mention it to the pediatrician if I thought the child was not getting adequate sleep because of any of these items but you don't mention that. I wouldn't even worry about the teeth grinding since it's baby teeth. I would 100% not take a child to a chiropractor.

    Found these, hopefully they may be helpful.

    Highly doubt chiropractic would assist with any of this.

    Btw, I also have ADHD and anxiety and grind my teeth in my sleep. I do not have any of those breathing or snoring symptoms. I do wear a nightguard or retainer at night to prevent the grinding from damaging my teeth. Breathing/snoring could possibly unrelated to neurodiversity and simply be an issue of the other causes listed in those websites. 

    Best of luck! 

    Please schedule a consult with Dr Dwight Jennings. My 13 year old had the same issues you described as well as chronically blocked/clogged ears and is now half way through his treatment plan with Dr Jennings. Now that he has room in mouth for his tongue to lay flat with the support of a Myo functional therapist he is learning how to position his tongue and re learning how to breathe with his mouth closed. Mouth breathing leads to much more serious health issues later on namely sleep apnea, if not treated. The first thing Jennings had us do was get a 3D x ray of my sons head. Turns out his airway was 1/3 the size it should be because his jaw was compacted into his throat and was blocking nasal passage ways hence the clogged ears. 
    Dwight Jennings 5105226828

    We just saw an ENT at Children's for our 5 year old because of very loud snoring and interrupted breathing during sleep, which has been an issue of years. We are also awaiting an evaluation for ADHD. 

    Something that was helpful for our ENT appointment was I brought in a video of what we were seeing. This made it very clear to the doctor that is likely he has sleep apnea and a sleep study was needed. The ENT specialist told us about 50% of kids with ADHD also have sleep apnea. That treating that can help with some with symptoms. If the apnea is mild or moderate,  we'll likely teat with allergy meds which seem to work even without an allergy. More severe cases would mean surgery on tonsils and anodes. He said the snoring isn't too much of a concern and our kids had a very large uvia, which is probably causing the snoring.

    Hope this helps with what to expect. We haven't sought out other options for treatment yet but are looking forward for more info from the sleep study.

    What about adenoid removal? My son has his taken out when he was 2. 

    It sounds like your son may be a candidate for myofunctional therapy, which can help with those issues. My neurodiverse son was referred for treatment by his orthodontist, and he saw Virginia Downing in Oakland. My other son ended up seeing her as well, once I realized that mouth breathing is not typical and can indicate an issue. Good luck!

    My daughter fits your sons profile, both the description of sleep and the neurological profile. She also had large tonsils and had poor sleep with trouble falling asleep and night waking for her whole life. We got an ENT referral, did a sleep study, and got a sleep apnea diagnosis when she was 7 years old. A tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy solved most of her problems (she still grinds her teeth some). She is almost 12 now and still sleeping well. While we have also given her a lot of other support due to her neuro diagnosis, I believe addressing the sleep apnea has been an important part of her treatment and well-being. Feel free to private message me.

    I breathed through my mouth my entire life so much so I didn’t even realize you were supposed to breathe through your nose! I had poor sleep and snored. I read a book about it and it suggested buying special tape to keep your mouth closed at night. It works great and I sleep so much better now. It is safe (you only tape part of your mouth and can open your mouth easily if you need to). I sleep so much better and never snore now. 

    Here is what we have done for our two children, at the initial advice of a speech therapist:

    We began orthodontia with Dr. Claire Ferrari (Albany) who practices Airway Orthodontics by expanding the palate gradually with an appliance. Excellent care from her and a new doctor who recently joined the practice.

    Simultaneously we worked with Virginia Downing, a myofunctional therapist in the Oakland hills, to help them learn new ways of using their tongue muscle. If the tongue is not resting on the top palate at most times day and night, the palate will contribute to mouth breathing and sleep disordered breathing or sleep apnea. Virginia is a tough cookie and it takes a commitment to home practice, but more than a year later both kids can use their tongue properly, sometimes with reminders to keep mouth closed while chewing or watching tv) . 

    Virginia assessed them both as having a posterior tongue tie which we got released through a frenulectomy. Not fun, but worth it. My son did not have a great experience with the doctor but my daughter did.

    We have also done a sleep study and they were both diagnosed with mild sleep apnea and some allergic inflammation in their noses, which we have to figure out how to address. I'm not a fan of nasal sprays, but they have made a difference. Due to this diagnosis we are continuing to work with Dr. Ferrari on maxillary expansion to give more room for their tongues to rest in their mouths while addressing the allergies--which I did not know either of them had because they're not 'sniffly' and they didn't know their noses were blocked because that's all they have known.

    There's a growing body of literature on the benefits of these approaches, but it's not for the faint of heart (or of pocketbook). Still, I feel like it's worth while as I now recognize that I too have sleep disordered breathing and a similar tongue/palate configuration...and all the characteristics of interrupted sleep (fatigue, lack of focus etc) I hope that by treating them early they'll avoid greater consequences down the line, and hopefully we'll see cognitive benefits as well. 

    If you'd like more info feel free to PM me.

    Reply now »
  • Snoring surgery

    (3 replies)

    I snore very loudly. I've done a sleep test and it ruled out apnea. I've tried various remedies (nasal strips, nose silicone vents, Theravent bandages) that didn't work and were intolerable. I'm considering snoring surgery because I'd really like to share a bed again with my partner. Have you any positive or negative experiences with snoring surgery to share? 

    I'd love to hear people's thoughts too. I'm sort of in the same boat. 


    Someone in my family had this surgery (implants in roof of mouth). It helped, as did losing weight. Also sleeping on their side.

    When I was having my apnea diagnosed, I was told the surgery often was not a permanent fix, but that was about 10 years ago.  I use a mouth piece that keeps my tongue forward and that has preserved the marital bedding arrangement. (I noted that your test ruled out apnea) Not being over-tired and not drinking wine close to bedtime and dealing with nasal stuffiness also helps me.

Archived Q&A and Reviews

Questions about Snoring Related Pages

2010 - 2012 Discussions

Doctor for Husband's Snoring

Nov 2012

Need recommendations for a really top-notch doctor to treat snoring. Husband's snoring is so bad the situation has become intolerable. He had some treatments about 10 years ago, but they never really helped; also had a sleep study at the time that indicated no apnea, just snoring. Want a good knowledgeable doctor, not one who's just trying to sell a mouthgard or something. Afraid of quacks! Tired

Dr Ron Rubenstein, Board Certified Otolaryngologist, knows his stuff regarding snoring. He's located in San Leandro 510-276-2800. I saw him for my snoring problem and I no longer snore. He will first determine the cause of your snoring (there are lots of causes which is why these generic cures don't work most of the time. Once he knows the cause he will make recommendations as to the best procedure for you. I had a 15 minute procedure in his office which was painless. Full recovery took about 2 weeks and it was painful then, but I'd do it again because I no longer snore and my husband and I are both much happier. I highly recommend calling him. rf

Oxygen Pillow for snoring?

April 2012

Have any of you used or know someone who's used the 'Oxygen Pillow' as a remedy for snoring? IF YES....did it work? Did it totally stop the snoring? How bad was the snoring before hand? If the user had sleep apnea, did it cure or help with that? I'm researching this for my husband and for 2 girlfriends who have sleep apnea and a snoring problem. Thanks anon

My friend said this pillow stopped her husband's snoring. I bought one, but even the smallest pillow is too big for me so I don't use it. I don't think it worked and it was very expensive. I wear a snore guard and some elevation helps. anonymous

Non-surgical snoring / sleep apnea remedies

April 2012

Has anyone tried any of the commercially available remedies for snoring / sleep apnea, such as snoremender etc? What was your experience? Looking to try one of these and need some advice and recommendations. Many thanks. anon.

There is a new treatment that has proven to be pretty effective and below is an article about it from the New York Times. The CPAC machines that are the medically approved ''solutions'' to sleep apnea are quite awful to try and sleep with. They are cumbersome, loud and sort of strapped on to the person's face in order to force air into a person who is unable to get air on their own. The failure rate is very high because most people take them off in the middle of the night. Anyway, check the link and then google it and read all the news about it. It seems promising. What ever you do, get help. Not sleeping well is serious. And sleep apnea unsolved can make your life a misery. Best of luck!
sleep is good
I must heartily recommend learning the Boteyko Method of breathing to address snoring and sleep apnea. It was developed for asthma, but has many, many applications. The practitioner/therapist I have seen is Kathy Winslow: Specialized Training in Orofacial Myofunctional Therapy Buteyko Breathing Educator Specialization in Facial Neuro-Reflex Integration (MNRI) 650-712-1516 Office 650-740-3311 Cell Together with breathing and tongue exercises and night-time taping closed the mouth (!), the results are amazing. If you write to me I can share a PDF booklet on the Boteyko Method. Nori

Snoring partner

Feb 2012

How do people cope with a snoring partner? I like sleeping with my husband, and I like sleeping, but it seems those two activities are incompatible lately 'cause I'm a light sleeper and he's a loud sleeper. Here's what we've tried so far:
- him sleeping on his side (doesn't make a difference whether he sleeps on his back or on his side)
- Breathe Right strips (helps some of the time)
- allergy medications (Claritin and Zyrtec... seems to reduce airway irritation but only some of the time)
- Snore Stop and other homeopathic remedies (helps some nights; doesn't do a darn thing other nights)
- one of us sleeping on the couch (not an ideal long-term solution)
- me taking melatonin or wearing earplugs so I can sleep through the noise better

FWIW, he's not overweight, and in all my hours of lying awake listening to him snurk I have heard a few mild breathing interruptions but nothing that would indicate that sleep apnea is a big part of the picture. I'm losing sleep several nights a week, and I'm really hoping there's a better option out there. Has anybody tried the pillar procedure or nasal turbinate reduction? Mouth guards? Are there other treatments that have worked for you? Any treatments not to bother with? tired

Ear plugs help a lot for me, as does a noise machine. Just a little white noise.. it doesn't block it out but it helps muffle so I can drift off. It also helps if I go to sleep before him - which doesn't happen often but if I am really having a hard time I'll tell him to stay awake until I fall asleep. It is mostly if I can just get to sleep I can stay asleep. I also started sleeping better when we got a King Bed...although my husband is very sad that I am so far away! But frankly an extra 18 inches of distance from his snoring made a big difference. There are of course all the other sleep habits that you need to think about - winding down, no stressful media, caffeine, enough exercise but not late in day, not eating late heavy meals etc etc. Sleep is critical to mental health so you're right to make sure you can get good sleep. Sleep matters
I have your exact same problem, except we have tried one thing not on your list - a humidifier. We have it on husband's side of the bed, positioned so that cloud of cool mist falls on his general head of the bed. Hasn't completely cured the snoring but helps a lot! Also produces a pleasant white noise which helps me sleep through the milder honking. Been there
Dear Tired, my heart goes out to you! Ever since my husband started doing the Neti Pot, things have gotten SO much better. It is a bit of a commitment on his part, but it has really helped. If he has a cold or any nasal congestion, he will also take some medication before bed because he knows it will result in snoring - but mostly the Neti Pot has done the trick. That and my super-soft ear plugs (they are pink, I don't remember the brand) has saved my sleep. Good luck. Not as tired
I have snored since I was a young child and have always been embarrassed about it. Finally when I was about 50, I had an at home sleep study test (through Kaiser) and found out that I had mild to moderate sleep apnea. There are important health reasons to address apnea, as well as being sleep compatible with one's mate. My tonsils and adenoids had already been removed. I am not overweight. So I tried using a mouthpiece. I had a dentist mold a mouth piece to position my jaw, but it was not as effective as a much cheaper (about $36 with shipping) plastic SnorBan (, which is like the mouth pieces worn in sports, and I mold it myself. Without this piece, I become a mouth breather when I'm sleeping and this causes my breathing interference. Also, there are times when I need to be elevated and use a steroid nose spray if my nose is stuffed up. I'm told I still snore at times but it is at a much lower level and tests show that I am getting enough oxygen during sleep when I use the mouth piece. Good Luck anonymous
One word-earplugs. My husband snores, I wear earplugs- always, every night. I love to snuggle, and be near his body and I no longer want to kick the xxxx out of him in the night. love my husband, love my earplugs

Recommendation for sleep apnea/snore doctor

Feb 2010

I'm looking for a recommendation for a doctor that does surgery for sleep apnea/snoring. My husband has bad sleep apnea and uses a c-pap machine which he hates. Therefore, he always sleeps in the spare bedroom because he wakes me and my children. We had originally found a doctor to do surgery but he had a large amount of out of pocket fees. The next doctor we found was able to utilize our insurance (Cigna) for the whole procedure, but then he underwent a malpractice suit, so we became leery about using him. Can anyone recommend a doctor that they have used for this problem. I just don't know where to start at this point. Thanks! Tired of sleeping in bed alone

I had the surgery for sleep apnea but it did not work because the cause of my apnea and most apnea is a windpipe that closes during deep sleep. I have gotten used to my cpap machine now. I too hate the hassle but love the improvement in my life and never sleep without it. sleeping better now
I have severe sleep apnea, too. I understand your situation quite well. My boyfriend has complained about it. I know he had very difficult time to sleep next to me. But I really didn't believe doctors for this problem, also didn't want to sleep with strange looking pipes around my face. I tried many products and of course nothing worked. And finally we had a big fight about it. I desperately tried more products. I finally found something worked quite impressively. This item is to strengthen your lungs. My breathing during the day is so much easier just in general and my sleeping got soooo much easier, too. It is about $100. It is called, power lung. There are so many websites selling this and you can check them out. But I bought at and it was smooth transaction. I think it is worthy to try before he goes to see a doctor and pays so much money and surgery. They made this in many levels for senir to athletes. I got a green one for fairly advanced level. But I should've gotten easier one. It works well but it is a bit difficult. If he want to try, make sure to get right one for him. Good luck. Hope it works. K
A somewhat late reply but anyways ... You might wanna check out which talks about playing the didgeridoo to help apnea. It basically does what a previous post mentioned, it strengthens the breathing and does it significantly. I play the didgeridoo since a few months for other reasons than apnea but have noticed my much improved breathing. If you need more info shoot me an email. Good luck.

2007 - 2009 Discussions

How do you deal with being constantly woken up by your partner?

Dec 2009

My partner has a bad snoring problem (sleep apnea, has a machine, which helps me enormously but he doesn't always use it because he doesn't sleep well with it). On top of that, he works very late (only sleeps 5 hours a night) and wakes me up when he comes to bed even if he's quiet. He and 13 year old son also watch TV in the living room over the bedroom, which even if turned down makes it impossible for me to sleep (sound comes thru the floor). I already use maximum earplugs every night, and sometimes a pillow over my head. Between the snoring, lights, doors closing, getting-ready to go to bed noises in the adjacent bathroom, etc, it's often really hard to sleep and definitely very frustrating! I actually fall asleep easily, but am woken up easily. He considers my sleeping issues to be 'my' issues to deal with. But, when I do ditch for the other room so I can get at least some uninterrupted sleep, he gets upset that I'm not sleeping with him...! I know I'm not alone......

Stop sleeping with your husband. He is being sadistic. Tell him that his issues (i.e. that he gets upset when you don't sleep with him) are 'his' issues to deal with. I haven't slept with my husband in years and we are very happy. - you are not alone
You are certainly not alone. I stopped sleeping (the actual sleeping part!) with my husband a while ago. He is a very fitful sleeper, and while I, like you, fall asleep easily, I am also easily awakened. After 2 kids in 4 years, I am up alot, and I don't need it compounded by a fitful, snoring sleep partner. I am sure people think it's weird, but I see no reason why I should sacrifice sleep. It also stresses my husband out to have to sleep in the same bed, because he has been yelled out a couple of times for tossing/turning and he then can't sleep for fear of waking me up.

I don't know who decided you had to sleep in the same bed when married. I know some people like it, but I know a lot of people who don't. And mostly it's the women who ''suffer'' through the problems of snoring/fitful sleeping husbands. Many women are light sleepers by nature, and sleeping through someone else's issues isn't a reality.

So no advice except you are not alone & sleep is too important to give up!

For what it's worth, we do end up sleeping together when we have visitors & our spare bedroom is occupied, and with earplugs and a loud fan running, I can tolerate it, although even then it is not ideal. Laura

My DH is 50-something, heavy, and S-N-O-R-E-S. Earplugs, as you know, can only do so much. Ditto the pillow on top of my head. I even tried sewing a pocket onto the back of a t-shirt; inserted a tennis ball, and that helped only a little, as well, at least it kept him off his back, the WORST position - I don't need to tell you, huh? But my BIL started using a soft plastic mouthpiece at his house, much to my SIL's relief. My DH listened to his (wise!) bro's advice and got one, 2 wks ago, too. Now it's BLISSFULLY quiet. His jaw felt a little sore the first night, less so the 2nd, etc, and then, not at all. The brand he bought (on amazon, $60.) was ''Pure Sleep''(see: Good luck! --ALL getting our Zzzzz's
Oh, how I can commiserate! Luckily, my husband lost weight and laid off of stuff that caused food sensitivities, so the snoring problem abated over a period of four months. Whew!

Like you, I bailed to another bedroom when sleep was eluding me. My husband , ironically, is the noise sensitive one, so I couldn't use a white noise machine. He'd be hurt every so often when he;d wake up alone, but I'd give him the option of a white noise machine or my going off by myself occasionally and he'd back off.

But even with these fixes, I realized I really was not getting enough deep, restorative sleep. Your multiple night wakings might be in part due to external distractions, but it may be due to your lack of delta wave, or deep sleep.

Mild to moderate cardio helped somewhat, but I never stuck with it long enough to maximize benefits. Ditto for cutting out caffeine completely. But hey, it works if you can manage it.

Before I got pregnant and then was breastfeeding, I took the amino acid 5 HTP with really good results. It's a precursor of tryptophan , which is a precursor of serotonin. It's over the counter and was a godsend. (Double check with doc or pharmacist if you are taking meds to check about interactions)

I also discovered magnesium after I had been breastfeeding for a long time and had lousy sleep. It doesn't increase deep sleep directly, but does a great job of relaxing muscles and causing sleepiness.

I also started going to bed upwards of an hour before hubby, while he was putting our little one to bed. I was able to get into a sleep routine that helped me settle in so I would be less lekey to be disturbed by outside activity.

Hope this helps! jb

Anti-snoring devices/pillows?

Aug 2008

I snore (like a freight train, according to my husband) and he is a very light sleeper. I sleep great, normally, except when he wakes me up to tell me to turn on my side (I am a back sleeper) and he sleeps terribly unless he's in another room. I've tried the nose strips (which work ok but not great) but haven't yet tried any pillows- I've heard that certain pillows force you on your side which seems to diminish snoring- anyone have any experience with them or advice for me? I'm pretty certain I don't have apnea as I sleep really soundly and wake up feeling refreshed every morning. Don't make me wear a tennis ball shirt

I have a good friend who has had the same snoring problem and tried snore strips and sprays with limited success. Then her dentist prescribed a ''night guard'' for night-time tooth- grinding, and she no longer snores, ever, unless she forgets to use the night guard. I hadn't heard of a night guard as a snoring solution, but it seems to be working for her. I guess the repositioning of the jaw (or something else?) seems to do the trick. silent nights
Hey there! So, the only thing I know about snoring is that I recently read about this study (reported on here in the BBC news: or if the link doesn't work just google: ''bbc snoring heart disease'')

So I don't want to scare you, but heart disease is very common and early heart disease I imagine is super common. That is all just to say that maybe you could get checked and if you do have some risk then you could try out a plant-based diet for a while (ie little or no meat, eggs, cheese, etc) but of course still trying to get as many nutrients as you need, or try other things. Then again, maybe you are totally fine in that department and the snoring is unrelated.

The study just showed that twice as many heavy snorers as non snorers died of heart disease during the study, but certainly not all of them did. So again, so sorry if I have disturbed you but just wanted to share my two cents (or maybe less) worth. Good luck and best wishes!! Anne

My husband also snores so loud that I cannot sleep with him. He didn't think he had apnea but he took the sleep test anyway. The docs decided he had apnea and now he uses a CPAP - continuous positive airway pressure. It's a machine he wears over his nose at night the pushes air into his nose so he doesn't snore. It took some getting used to, for me and him, but it's routine now and we sleep together comfortably. Rebecca
This sounds very familiar to me! In fact, just this week my partner (the snorer) started using a Tempur-Pedic Swedish Neck pillow (you can find it at The Back Store and Bed,Bath and Beyond). The Back Store employees are great for helping you find the right size. You can try one right in the store on a bed. I use one myself (for neck issues) and when she gave it a try it greatly decreased the snoring. It didn't go away completely but greatly diminished the volume and frequency so that I could more easily sleep through the snoring. Good luck! Better Rested
It might be your only choice, the dreaded tennis ball shirt. Or your husband could start working nights and eliminate the problem that way. My father snores. When I was little, it was amazing to hear. By the time I was a teenager, it was a nightmare. You could hear him from the street. Walls, closets and the television couldn't drown him out enough to get a good night's rest. I started wearing ear plugs and those just irritated me more. The only answer I found was to get a job working nights and sleep during the day until I moved out. My Father wore the tennis ball shirt. He went to the sleep clinics. He had surgery on his nose. And he still snores. It's just not as loud. Stays at a hotel when visiting mom and dad
Snoring can be a indication of sleep apnea - no laughting matter. Check to see if your partner stops breathing during sleep. If so, see a doctor immediately. Otherwise, losing weight or using a dental device, like you see on TV, seems to work. Forget the nose strips and sprays.

Good luck. Bartstar

The only way to be truly certain you don't have sleep apnea is by being tested. If you are put off by the notion of sleeping in a laboratory all wired up with electrodes and a video camera trained on you, ask your doctor about home sleep test options, which are private, comfortable, and usually just as accurate as a full blown sleep test if you are trying to determine if you have sleep apnea.

Sometimes snoring is just snoring. As your husband noticed, sleeping on your back tends to make snoring worse since your airway narrows more and the soft tissue starts rattling with every breath. In addition to setting people up with CPAP machines to treat sleep apnea, my company SomniHealth in Alameda also sells a variety of different pillows. One of them is called the ''European Anti-Snore Pillow.'' It is a queen- sized pillow that has an air chamber built into the center. You inflate the center to any height, and the idea is that if you try to sleep on your back, you wind up rolling downhill in either direction to sleep on your side instead. The pillows are $120. We've carried them for only a few months. While I wish I could share direct feedback from the customers, I haven't heard back from any of them after they bought the pillow. I like to think that no news is good news. I can say that no one has attempted to return one.

The tennis ball method is generally discredited because it is so uncomfortable that it disturbs your sleep.

While a pillow can't hurt (except financially), untreated sleep apnea can. While I'd love to sell you an Anti-Snore Pillow, I think you'd be better off if you first saw your doctor and confirmed that you do not have sleep apnea.

SomniHealth 1926 Broadway Alameda, CA 94501 510.864.4800

I snore, he sleeps downstairs

Oct 2007

According to my husband, I snore like a freight train- I use those nose strips and have even tried a homeopathic pill that's supposed to stop snoring- the products help but not enough. If I sleep on my side, it seems better but I am a back sleeper- my husband wears ear plugs (the wax type) and about 95% of the time, he ends up waking up (to pee or whatever) and can't get back to sleep because of my snoring- the result is that he goes downstairs to sleep in the spare bedroom. I'm sad about not having my husband in bed with me but he just can't sleep with all that noise. Any recommendations on products or ways to decrease the snoring? He threatens me with a ''tennis ball shirt''- HELP! Zzzzzzzzzzz

I snored like that, too, and it turned out to be a symptom of sleep apnea, which was ''cured'' by getting a CPAP machine. This is a machine that you connect to with a mask as you sleep, and it pushes a continuous column of air into your airway to keep it from collapsing a little when you breathe. This causes the snoring. You need to see a sleep doctor and have a sleep study done. You go spend the night in a clinic, and they hook you up to electrodes and watch (and listen!) to you sleep. Then you get fitted with the mask. The really incredible thing is that, apart from stopping the snoring, it has given me tremendous new energy. When you have sleep apnea, your breathing actually wakes you up continually (maybe you're not even conscious of it), and you never really get to that deep stage of sleep that is restful. Getting the CPAP has really changed my life. Some people find it a little hard to get used to, but it's worth it. I highly recommend my sleep doctor, Dr. Guillermo Vanegas, 3300 Webster, #404, Oakland, 94609, 510 251 1200. The ''typical'' sleep apnea patient is male and overweight, but the condition can exist in anyone. I'm female and not overweight, but I did snore very badly. I hope this helps. anon
My husband snored, and he took a sleep test and they found out he had sleep apnea. (We have Kaiser so they let us do the test at home, they give you a machine). You don't mention it, but the bigger signs of sleep apnea are always tired and no energy. He didn't just snore, he had this sort of choking snore, because he wasn't getting enough oxygen when he slept. I guess you would have to ask your husband if it sounds like you are choking or if there are long pauses between the snoring.

Anyway, for the past six years he has been using a CPAP machine at night and it's been great! It takes some getting used to but he wears it every night and he feels so much better. And I don't have to listen to the choking-snoring anymore. No more snoring

Snoring is a type of sleep-disordered breathing that can be a symptom of a serious medical condition - sleep apnea. It not only makes it difficult for a bed partner to sleep, but can also have serious health implication for the snorer. Sleep Disordered Breathing has been shown to be strongly linked to increased risk for high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, diabetes and a host of other medical conditions. Please talk to your doctor about your snoring and/or see a sleep specialist.

The tennis ball shirt won't help, because it's so uncomfortable that it will wake you up. Sleeping on your side can help, and some pillows, like the Oxygen Pillow, can help position your head and neck to maximize air flow in the upper airway. Breathe-Right strips can help you breathe better through your nose, but the snoring is usually in other parts of the upper airway. You can talk to your dentist about dental appliances that can reduce snoring, but these can be expensive, uncomfortable, and may not help.

The gold standard of treatment is CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure), where pressurized air is forced into your nose via an air pump and tube to a mask worn over your nose. CPAP will stop your snoring, but the device can only be obtained with a prescription, and insurance won't pay for a CPAP unless you have undergone a complete sleep test to prove you have a medical need.

The first and most important step is to talk to your doctor. My company, SomniHealth, provides CPAP machines once you have a prescription. One of the great joys of my work is bringing couples back together again after they've been sleeping in seperate rooms for years. Snoring is a very serious problem, but it's very treatable. Daniel

My husband is a dentist and he provides a product for snorers like you called a ''snoreguard''. Many many people have been successful with it. One man said it saved his marriage! Ask your dentist about it. It's just a few hundred dollars which is certainly worth sleeping with your husband for. Good luck! Chanel

Surgery to remedy REALLY bad snoring?

April 2007

Has anyone had surgery to deal with really bad snoring? My husband has snored all his life (he's been tested for sleep apnea and doesn't have it), and we're ready to do something drastic. My understanding is that there are 2 types of snoring, one originating in the nose (which can sometimes be helped by those nose bandaids) and one originating in the throat. We think his is the latter as the only thing that's ever worked at all is a throat spray. Unfortunately, it doesn't work well anymore and while he can sleep in another room at home, our vacations are becoming unbearable with us sleeping in shifts. I know there are surgical options and would like to hear from anyone who's gone down that road. Many thanks! sleepless in Rockridge

1. Be sure he sleep only on his side--put pillows or other objects next to his back so he wont turn on his back. 2. No alcohol or sleeping pills before bed--these increase snoring. 3. See an ENT specialist to see if he has loose tissue in the back of his throat to remove. 4. Use earplugs--silicone work really well, when you sleep. This helps alot. 5. Sleep in a separate room! When travelling, book a suite or connecting rooms. anon MD 2. No alcohol or sleeping pills before bed--these increase snoring. 3. See an ENT specialist to see if he has loose tissue in the back of his throat to remove. 4. Use earplugs--silicone work really well, when you sleep. This helps alot. 5. Sleep in a separate room! When travelling, book a suite or connecting rooms. anon MD
Have your husband tried the device that dentists can make? It realigns the jaw in some way that stops snoring. It's like a night guard. Costs about $300-400. It worked for us. anonymous
Check out my response under the next or most recent advice newsletter. My husband has had the full surgery-it's very painful, excrutiating initially, and a lot of trouble, and it doesn't fix everything. Though it's better. See the other post for more detail.

2004 - 2006 Discussions

Husband's Snoring is ruining our marriage

Sept 2006

Help! My husband's snoring is ruining our marriage. We live in a really small 3 bedroom home with a son and daughter who really need their own rooms. We can't do this because there is no possible way for my husband and I to share a room. Even with him in another room his snoring often wakes me up. We haven't touched each other in months and I feel the stress about what we're going to do about sleeping arrangements and the separate beds are a big cause. I feel so angry about this. He had surgery for a deviated septum and the 'snoring surgery' where they removed his uvula and cauterized the tissue at the back of his throat about 6 years ago -- it made a big difference -- but this year it's back to being as bad as ever, and it's constant, not just when he has a cold or something. I can't ever think about planning a vacation or anything without thinking 'how am I going to get any sleep'. So far he's been really resistant to doing anything about it, which I don't really understand. I've had him taking nasal steriods but then he'll just stop taking them and then doesn't understand why I'm upset. If I ask him to sleep in the other room he gets really pissy and slams the door. He acts like it is all 'me' -- that it is my problem. His snoring is so loud I can hear it over the TV when I'm in the living room.

I need the name of a good Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor who is skilled at the 'snoring surgery'. We have Aetna insurance -- so any John Muir, Hill Physicians, etc. medical group would work. Any other suggestions would be welcome. Back before his other surgery he had a sleep study which said he did not have sleep apnea so supposedly that is not the problem. I'm desperate for something to change here -- I can't spend the rest of my life like this Anon

Several years back I had a very sophisticated sleep study at Stanford because of heavy snoring and constant exhaustion (I sneakily manipulated Kaiser to pay for it, their sleep study is a joke). I was diagnosed with ''upper airway obstructive disorder'', which is not full blown sleep apnea. Stanford wanted me to have an experimental and very expensive treatment, which I declined, and instead I slept with a CPAP machine for a bit less than a year.

CPAP is a drag and not for the unmotivated, but it's not invasive and it works. I was pretty good about it, used it about 5 nights out of 7, and all my symptoms vanished.

But- what no one (stupidly!?) told me then was that weight has a great deal to do with the sort of problem I had, and I was significantly overweight. I lost weight for other reasons, my problems went away, haven't returned, and I haven't needed the CPAP since. You don't mention your husband's weight, but if he is heavy, losing weight could be at least a supplement to other treatment if not a treatment in itself.

His attitude is another thing entirely though, and I'd have a very difficult time with it if I were in your shoes. Is this his basic personality, or could it be an indirect way of expressing other things (that may or may not have to do with your relationship)? anon

My husband was a huge snorer, and we had the same problems you describe, including the no-apnea sleep study and his refusal to believe it was that bad. Once we went to an overnight party at a small house, and half the people left in the middle of the night because of his snoring! He had surgery, and all was much better, and then he relapsed. He had a second surgery and things have stayed better. He still ''purrs'' from time to time (much more quietly) and at times I still can't sleep. I leave the bed when my stress level is high or he's snoring a lot (about once every two weeks).

First, awakening my spouse to get him to leave the bed was WAY harder than leaving myself. Establish a separate sleep space for yourself that is supportive, comfortable, and the same every night. This might mean switching a sofa out for a daybed type thing you can throw the cushions off (we had no separate bedroom for years, either). Make sure this space has as many bedroom-like features as possible (comforter, pillows, reading light, alarm clock). When you are stressed or he is loud, you start off the night sleeping there. If he wakes you, go to your spot and pass back out. No muss, no fuss, no middle-of-the-night blaming sessions.

Second, be clear with each other and with yourself that this is NOT personal, or indicative of problems with the marriage or the love you have for each other.This is not about him or about you, this is about snoring and sleep deprivation. To think clearly about solutions, you both have to feel able to get good sleep. Third, make it clear to your spouse that it feels awful to you to not share a bed, but that you have to sleep separately if he won't either do the steroids regularly, go get a surgical tune-up, or both. If and when he does agree to go, BE SURE TO express your gratitude that he is willling to take this step for the sake of sleep and marital sanity (for you both).

Rich Kerbavaz in Berkeley is a good ENT. Joel Ross, who practices in Pinole, did both my husband's surgeries, and was clear from the outset that this often takes more than one try. valerie

My grandfather, father and brother all snore just like you describe... loud enough to shake the house down. When we learned my son had a deviated septum (and snored), we thought it best to have it taken care of. My son saw doctor, Kasey Li, an ENT and DDS, Harvard trained. THough he is not cheap, Dr. Li is top notch. Dr. Li was recommended to me by another doctor, who had her child treated by Dr. Li. If any doctor could help your husband, I am sure it would be Kasey Li. Check out his website; he is located just off the 101, in Palo Alto. It's a bit of a drive from Berkeley, but if he can help resolve the snore, ain't a good night sleep and your marriage worth a couple tanks of gas?? Good luck! Anon
It surprises me that your husband doesn't have sleep apnea as it sounds like the treatments he's received are usually associated with apnea. I do have sleep apnea; diagnosed after YEARS of snoring and driving everyone around me crazy. If allergies have been ruled out, apnea has (apparently) been ruled out, surgery has been done to correct loose palate, it must be hard to figure out where to go. One of the reasons your husband is probably getting so pissy with you is that he is not sleeping well.

Snoring disrupts the snorer's sleep cycle, too, and he may not even be aware of it. But, snoring is a sign of a medical problem, and there must be answer somewhere. Believe it or not, I was diagnosed with a seizure disorder but Kaiser finally did a thorough sleep study and found I had apnea. If your husband isn't overweight, doesn't smoke or drink alcohol, doesn't have allergies or enlarged tonsils, I'm still thinking that apnea is his problem. I'd bet going through the sleep study clinic at UCSF could find the root of his problem. By the way, I have been told by several specialists that the throat surgery your husband underwent rarely has long-term success, which is why I did not opt for it. Anon

I know that someone else's ruining your sleep must be driving you mad. I also have to note that despite his !!!cauterizing his throat!! and !!!removing his uvula!!! (the idea of cutting out one's uvula really disturbs me), you still say that ''So far he's been really resistant to doing anything about it, which I don't really understand.'' Sounds like he's done something pretty intense. And then you expect him to leave the bedroom, instead of, for instance, taking turns. No wonder he's angry with you. He's wrecking your sleep time, and you're punishing him in no small dose in his wake time. Neither one must feel fair to the other. Is his snoring ruining your marriage? Maybe yes - with your reaction being part of the equation. I have to say that it usually takes two to ruin a marriage, just as it takes two to save it.

Now for a moment, imagine the effect on your marriage if something happened on the order of cancer, multiple sclerosis, car accident, etc. For most couples, something on the order eventually does happen. Those too could wreck your sleep. Would you hold such health issue against him like you do this one?

I wish you creativity, and best of: -luck, -good will, -earplugs, -white noise machines, and couples' therapists (honestly). anonymous

I have two suggestions for you! 1. Ear Plugs. Trust me -- I resisted this suggestion for years myself because I was sure that I would not be able to hear my kids in the middle of the night. I was wrong. I can hear my kids, and I can sleep with my husband. Second suggestion -- send your husband to the dentist for a SnoreGuard. My husband is a dentist who provides these snoreguards for big guys who snore loudly and their wives send my husband thank you notes. Not too expensive (sorry, don't remember the cost), but certainly worth investigating. These have been successful with many people been there, done that
I have the same problem as you! My husbands outrageously loud snoring nearly ruined our marriage!

Forget surgery. The only thing that worked for me is wearing earplugs at night. I use the squishy foam ones with a minimum reduction level of 32 decibels. Anything less than 32 decibel reduction doesn't work. You can buy them at any drugstore. I can actually get a good night's sleep in the same bed as my husband when I wear these things. I've been doing this every night for more than a year now and I probably will do so until death do us part, and it sure beats tossing and turning and getting mad at him all night long. I should buy stock in this earplug company.

On nights where his snoring is off-the-charts loud and I absolutely need a good night's rest for the next day, I sleep in our guest bedroom. I've learned NOT to kick him out of the bed into the guest room. It's all about acting on what is within your power to control, rather than asking your hubby to modify his behavior. Yes, I know that sounds like a bunch of psycho-babble, but really, once I figured this out, our relationship improved greatly. If it works, it works Approaching 10 years of marriage

I was snoring terribly. This was keeping my wife up with the associated rage on her part. I had this checked out by Kaiser. They sent me home with a machine to test for sleep apnia. Yup. I had moderate to severe apnia. I have had a CPAP machine for about 6 years now. No snoring. No Apnia. I sleep much better. I am exercising more now and starting to loose weight and when I have lost about 40lbs I will have them test me again. ex-snorer
In addition to your hunt for medical care, get yourselves to couples counseling. It sounds like you love him a ton and you want to be near him. Make sure he know that and try to not react in an angry manner when you kick him out of the room. I think conseling might help both of you work out some strategies that could save your relationship. Also - try really good ear plugs Daughter of a huge snorrer

Chronic open-mouth breathing/snoring baby

Feb 2006

I have a 7 month old baby who chronically breathes through his mouth. He also snores very loudly, especially at night. Sometimes his mouth-breathing interrupts his eating. His doctor doesn't seem too worried, despite his constant stuffiness. I,however, am a bit concerned. Any ideas about what could be causing this stuffy breathing? Thanks. Meg

Your description of your son (''I have a 7 month old baby who chronically breathes through his mouth. He also snores very loudly, especially at night. Sometimes his mouth-breathing interrupts his eating.'') sounds exactly like my son, except that my son is older. It took a long time for my son's diagnosis, but it turned out that his adenoids were enlarged so he couldn't breathe at all through his mouth, causing sleep apnea and eating problems. He just had surgery (adenoidectomy, i.e., removal of the adenoids) about a month ago and now he's like a new person! Even though the symptoms are similar, this may not be what's going on with your son, but I would definitely recommend having a doctor at least look at his adenoids (and tonsils) to find out. There's a tube they stick in the child's nose in order to see the adenoids, which is slightly uncomfortable, but it doesn't hurt. - Good luck!
I would say to to an ent (ear, nose, and throat specialist). Our son had the same thing and it turned out to be enlarged tonsils. YOu could hear our son breathing all the way across the room. Some pediatricians don't see that as any big deal, but our allergist/ asthma specialist recommended it and it actually cleared up my son's asthma. Dr Wesman at childrens hospital is the best pediatric ent around, head of the dept. He'll be able to tell you if it's nothing to worry about. If he seems to be wheezing you might try an asthma/allergy specialist. We use Dr. David Denmead in Pleasanton. Good luck! been there
Ask your doctor about the possibility of enlarged adenoids. And/or ask your doctor to refer you to an ENT to have your child evaluated for enlarged adenoids. These were our child's symptoms too, and once adenoids were removed she sounds great. If your child does have enlarged adenoids, it's possible they would want to hold off on removal, however, considering age. Deb
You may want to see Dr. Wesman, an ear, nose, and throat doctor at Childrens Hospital. I don't wish to alarm you but it is my understanding that babies who snore can have developmental delays; that was the case with my child who had unusually large tonsils which caused the breathing obstruction.
My son is now four and we're just figuring out that he has mold and dustmite allergies which have led to stuffy ears, thus a hearing problem. Two of the symptoms we hadn't clued into were snoring and mouth breathing. This wasn't identified until he began his new preschool this year and one of his teachers noticed a hearing problem (from the stuffy ears). I don't remember when it started, probably much later than your child's current age. We first took him to an audiologist and she found significant hearing loss (temporary), then we went to an ENT, and finally to an allergist. Hopefully your child doesn't have hearing problems but this stuffiness could go that route so my opinion is that you get a referral to an ENT and perhaps an allergist (the testing was not painful). amanda

I've recently been told I have a snoring problem

Feb 2006

I have recently been told I have a snoring problem. I have never been told that in the past and have chalked it up to getting a little older and putting on 10-15 pounds in the last four years. It has been a problem in a relationship, and I was wondering if anyone has had success in dealing with it. I have tried the nose strips (not a lot of success), and a special pillow (also not a lot of success). Any advice would be appreciated. steve

I have had a similar problem. The doctor I used to see referred me to a specialist who reocommended a type of surgery that involves tightening up loose tissue in the throat. But after doing some reading I learned that this usually isn't a long-term solution.

I got a new doctor last year and he said ''The problem might be that allergies are causing your nasal passages to be constricted. I recommend you try Flonase.'' Flonase is a nasal steroid. It seemed to work quite well. I gradually reduced the dosage and it kept working. I then stopped taking it and eventually the snoring returned. Jeff

I started snoring when I was pregnant and it continued on after having my son. I went to a ENT specialist and he said that while I do have large tonsils and a slightly deviated septum (sp?), if I didn't snore before from these things the only reason I started snoring was from the weight gain. Something about there being more fat rattling around or something. Anyway, it's gotten better since I've lost weight, and my husband no longer angrily goes to sleep on the couch. I still snore though if I sleep on my back, especially if I'm congested. So if you're a back sleeper, try lying on your side. anon

2003 & Earlier

Doctor for snoring and sleep apnea

Aug 2003

There were a few recommendations previously given but none of them worked for me. I'm looking for a physician who can help with the diagnosis of snoring and (possibly) sleep apnea who accepts UnitedHealthcare. I'm considering the possibility of surgery. Hans

I saw Dr. Andrew Moyce (he's in Oakland and Orinda) for sleep apnea. He performed surgery on me to remove nasal polyps and fix my deviated septum. I went from moderate sleep apnea to mild. It didn't sure the apnea, as I use a nasal pillow (I think the easiest to tolerate, just google ''nasal pillows'' for picture) CPAP machine. I did not opt for further surgery to eliminate the apnea since success rates are not that good, and surgery can lead to permanent side effects, i.e., change in voice, etc. Overall, I found Dr. Moyce to be very professional, and his staff was very helpful. I had the sleep study done at Calif Center for Sleep Disorders. Good luck. anon

My husband snores very, very loudly

Sept 2002

My husband snores very, very loudly. Several years ago he was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea. He has an appointment in November with a sleep clinic to assess this further. Unfortunately, we could not get an appointment sooner. We are having our first baby this October and I can't wait any longer for the snoring to stop! The snoring has gotten so severe that it keeps me up throughout the night and interferes with my sleep. Once I am up, it is very difficult to get back to sleep. There are a few postings on this issue from previous inquiries but I am wondering if anyone can recommend a physician (preferably with Health Net) that will be able to see my husband before November! Also, if anyone has other recommendations on snoring remedies, please let me know. There are numerous products advertised on the internet claiming to help with snoring, but I have no idea whether any of them work. Thanks. maria

I have been seeing Dr. Glen Petersen who is a pulmonary specialist with an office at Alta Bates for my sleep apnea problem. I think he takes Health Net. Also, I was referred in the past to Dr. Joanna Cooper, who is a neurologist at Dr's Hospital in Pinole. I think she also takes Health Net. Good luck. Anonymous
My husband snores so loud that the roof shakes. Before our baby was born i wore earpugs and could sleep, even though I still heard him a little. Now, with my little one I have to sleep in the other room. My husband snores worse according to his weight, he needs to lose some now to stop snoring.

I don't know if the remedies work and I've heard that the operation isn't too effective. I sleep with my husband until the baby (19mos) wakes, at which point I go to sleep on the pullout futon that I have already set up. I sleep with my baby (still nursing in the night) until the morn.

I know you want advice that tells you that you will enjoy sleep. But I tell you that when I first had the baby I slept with my baby and my husband in the bed and never heard him snore. I was so dead tired that I only woke to the stir of my baby.

Sleep is never what it used to be after the'll adjust. I was the biggest sleep lover you could ever had I just get it when I can. Good Luck anon

My brother tried the ''surgery'' for his throat that works for some people. He had it done 3 times (it often must be repeated to be effective) and it didn't have any effect for him. My sister-in- law is often tired.

I realize this is no solution, but my husband and I sleep in separate rooms and it works well. We both sleep better. I've confessed this little secret to a few women and (surprise!) they confide that they have separate sleeping arrangements too! Our sex lives haven't suffered. anon

My husband has snored loudly throughout the entire time we have been together. Seems to be that treatment for the snorer is either ineffective (such as BreatheRight strips) or drastic/dangerous (e.g., mechanical breathing apparatuses or operations). My solution: I wear earplugs. lawson
The ''drastic'' response to relieve snoring that I assume folks were talking about in the 9/6/02 edition, not only relieves snoring, but could save lives. Sleep Apnea is a serious problem. I would recommend that serious snorers see a sleep disorders doctor who can test them for Apnea. While their spouse may be losing sleep, the snorer often is not sleeping either. My doctor told me after my sleep study that I never reached REM sleep and never even made it stage 2 sleep. I was waking about every 45 seconds to a minute to recover my breathing which had brought my blood oxygen to a very dangerous level. While I didn't know I was in a serious condition, I did know that I would wake up in the morning not feeling rested at all. I now wear an oxygen mask (from a CPAP machine) that forces a continuous stream of air up my nose and keeps my airway clear. I have had the best sleep that I can remember and feel refreshed and energetic for the first time in years. I highly recommend that you encourage your ''others'' to check it out and make sure that their snoring is not just affecting you.

I made an appointment CA Center for Sleep Disorders in Oakland (510-834-8337). The doctor I saw said that from the redness and swelling in my throat he couild tell that I did have Sleep Apnea and ordered the sleep study. They scheduled it in their office for the next week and I had the results a few days later. Also, Stanford has a well-recommended sleep clinic as well.. Jon

Have you tried snore reduction surgery?

Dec 2001

My husband has always been a loud snorer--so loud in fact, that I can pretty much hear him from every room of our house when he's asleep and snoring in the bedroom. He snores despite sleeping on his stomach, side, etc. and things like those Breathe Right nasal strips don't work on him. I've tolerated his snoring for many years but now that we have little kids and I'm pretty sleep-deprived as it is, it's unbearable to have to lose more sleep over snoring.

We'll probably seek the advice of our health practicioner but I'm wondering if anyone out there has experienced any positive or negative results from snore reduction surgery (our medical coverage is with Kaiser Permanente). Assuming that my husband doesn't have any serious problems (sleep apnea, etc.) we'll probably explore this option. Thanks.

Instead of going the surgery route, you might want to at least look into other options. I have a snoreguard device that I wear to sleep when I don't want to snore. It's like a hinged top and bottom retainer molded to my teeth that forces my lower jaw to jut out and creates more breathing space at night. It works pretty well, and isn't too uncomfortable if you wear it all the time. There is another device that is more fixed, but also molded to your teeth that takes up more mouth space and lets the wearer breath through a small hole. Both devices can be obtained through a dentist. My snoreguard cost about $300 maybe two years ago. Lots cheaper and less invasive than surgery, although not a permanent fix. Does your husband have a deviated septum? This could also contribute to snoring. Good luck, Anonymous
My husband and I had issues with his snoring. In the end, he had a sort of ultrasound that cauterized some of his nasal tissue. He is now snoring and making other disgusting mouth and nose noises far less than he had before. Good luck to you!
From what I've heard about the surgery, it's not something to undertake lightly. Do talk to your practitioner and consider the other options first. It's amazing to me that these guys don't wake themselves up with their snoring! Louise
My husband also is a snorer, and has now undergone two procedures for snoring. They have been VERY successful, and he snores far more softly, when he snores at all. This has been great for our marriage and family life (not to mention our friendships; before children, we went to one memorable NEw Year's gathering and sleep-over at someone's beach cabin, only to find that several people left the house in the middle of the night because they couldn't bear the snoring!!). A few words of advice:

Your husband should undergo a sleep study first. Apnea is no joke. My husband didn't have apnea, or at least the test was inconclusive. HE says that the quality of his rest improved dramatically after surgery, and that he never realized how tired he really was before. If a sleep study proves apnea, insurance will probably pay for the surgery. Otherwise, it's usually out-of-pocket (check with Kaiser on that). The surgery cost us a couple of thousand dollars -- it was worth it.

The surgery itself can take a couple of forms: there's the one my husband had, where they basically cauterize the soft palate -- unpleasant (you can smell your tissue burning), and recovery takes about a week. Then there's radial ablation, which does the same thing with vibration (I think). This is newer, less painful, but potentially less successful. Either way, your spouse will probably need to go through the procedure more than once before it really takes. AS I said, my husband has had two procedures: the most dramatic difference happened after the first one, but the snoring returned and he felt he needed another one about a year later. Eighteen months after procedure #2, he snores sometimes at the beginning of the night, but stops when he hits deep sleep, and also sometimes snores after drinking red wine. But the sound level and quality of the snoring is way, way different (softer, regular, more like a purr), and if it weren't for our always-up-at-three smaller baby, I'd sleep right through it all the time.

My husband snores long & loud, and the combination of that and the sleep deprivation caused by young ones is just dreadful. You have my sympathy! You should definitely look into sleep apnea. My husband has mild apnea, but nothing serious. Because I was so miserable with his snoring, he recently underwent snore reduction surgery (I'm not sure exactly what the procedure is called) at Kaiser in which radio waves were used to shrink the soft palette. The procedure was very uncomfortable, he couldn't talk for several days, and his throat hurt for at least a week afterwards. His snoring did not stop after the surgery, and in fact, got much louder immediately after the surgery. However, the volume eventually decreased by about 15 to 20 percent. He had another procedure done several months later. This one hurt less, and he recovered more quickly. However, the volume of his snoring has not decreased much -- maybe another 5 to 10 percent. We are considering whether to have him undergo a third procedure -- he was told sometimes it takes 3 or 4 procedures, and there is no guarantee. The one big improvement it made was that he used to start to snore while he was still half-awake. Now, he doesn't start snoring until he is more deeply asleep, which helps me somewhat. One caveat -- his snoring got much much worse immediately after the surgery both times, and was just unbearable for over a week. Dr. Cruz at Kaiser Oakland does the procedure, but it was not covered by our coverage, and we had to pay for it out of pocket. Would I recommend it? Maybe -- it helps a little, but is definitely not a miracle solution, or at least hasn't been for us. It is also expensive. Good luck, and silent dreams! Anonymous
About the snoring surgery. My father has been a terrific snorer for all of my life, and several years before that from what I'm told. If my father is sleeping in his bedroom with the door closed, you can hear him 2 floors below. Needless to say, it has significantly impacted my mothers life, though it does make for good comedy on family vacations . 10 years ago, when he was in his late 40's, he had a sleep study and was diagnosed with apnea -- please do not overlook this step! 4 or 5 years ago he finally got a CPAP machine, which is basiclly a mask hooked up to an oxygen machine. This has helped his snoring tremendously. However, because my parents travel a fair amount he decided to have surgery so he wouldn't have to lug his machine around the world with him. He has had surgery 2 times in the past year (cauterization of the uvula, I believe), both of which did nothing for him except give him a sore throat for a couple of weeks. So he's back to the CPAP. He sounds kind of like Darth Vader, but better that than a jackhammer! Tara

Can't bear to be in the same room with snorer

Sept 2001

One member of my family has a nasal condition that results in intermittent whistling, congestion, and snoring. These noises are growing increasingly difficult for me to bear, to the point where I often do not want to be in the same room with him. We have been arguing about this, with little resolution. He is only somewhat willing to seek medical treatment for this, and has asked me to do what I can to try to be less bothered by these noises. Does anyone have experinces with such issues? I was wondering about hypnosis, but am open to all suggestions. Thanks. Elizabeth

Snoring can be an indicator of many things, from allergies and congestion, to a condition such as sleep apnea which can be serious. It would be a very good for your loved one to get a check up with your health practioner - no harm done, you'll probably get some help, and it could rule out any serious worries. best of luck. Nuckypuff

My husband can't sleep because of my snoring

Oct 2000

My child is finally sleeping through the night but my poor husband is not because of my snoring!! I've seen ads re: pills (which I am reluctant to take) and other type of devices. Any advice? thanks. BB

This problem plagued my husband and me for several years. Our only solution seemed to be sleeping in separate rooms, but that caused additional unhappiness. I found a product online that works for most of the night, it's called Snoreless. It's a throat spray, made by Nutrition for Life. But I still woke him up in the early morning hours. Last summer when we were on vacation in the Southwest it was quite hot, so we used a large floor fan at night. My husband was able to sleep undisturbed! The droning of the fan blocked out my snoring noise. So now at home we use a small air purifier/fan called Bionaire, placed right next to his side of the bed, which serves the same purpose. I think they sell them at Home Depot. I thought we were doomed to sleeping apart, but these two simple things have solved the problem. Good luck!
If you snore a lot and pretty loudly, you might have sleep apnea, which may not only keep your husband awake, but could be dangerous to your health. People with apnea stop breathing momenarily many times each night and, as a result, wake up many times without even knowing it. It results in sleep deprivation, even though you may think you've slept through the night. Anyway, I'd check with a doctor about this, even if your husband's problem with your snoring has been solved. Craig

Snoring 2-year-old

I don't know if this subject has been addressed before but it's an issue for my family now. Our almost 2 1/2 year old son Philip has begun to snore. Not just a light sound, but sometimes full blast tonsil flappers. While growing up with a father who could shake the house has conditioned me somewhat to snoring, my wife is ready to get her own apartment. How have you parents dealt with this problem? Has it been one at all? Jonathan
To the parent with the 2 yr. old snorer - My 8 yr. old son snores still, but he was MUCH MUCH louder when he was about 1.5-5 yrs. A specialist at Kaiser told us that he had enlarged tonsils and adenoids and that the snoring was partly due to this. If I can remember correctly, he said the adenoids typically are at their peak size-wise at around 5 yrs. old and that things would probably start getting better after that. We decided to not have them removed (he already had tubes in his ears) and the situation did indeed improve as he grew older. So, maybe there's hope that your 2 yr. old won't always snore. If you haven't already, you may want to have a doctor check his adenoids just to find out if the snoring is related.

My son also moaned VERY loudly - esp. early in the morning and ALWAYS on camping trips (and he still does, but also not nearly as much.) I recently spoke with a sleep specialist here at UC and he said moaning while asleep is also fairly common in kids and its just a way some children get through the transitions of sleep (REM etc.) - kids who sleep-walk or have night terrors do it during the same period of sleep. Most people also outgrow these behaviors. randice

>To the parent with the 2 yr. old snorer - >My 8 yr. old son snores still, but he was MUCH MUCH louder when he was about >1.5-5 yrs.

My experience confirms that specialist's theory. Our son could be heard snoring in the next room over the TV playing when he was 3-4 yrs old. Now, at 6, he only snores when he has a head cold and not nearly as loudly. Kay

Just a quick note on snoring to Jonathan. My now 5 year old son still snores early in the evening and has snored since he was 2. I spoke with his doctor who checked him out and said that his tonsils and adnoids seem normal and that he will grow out of it. To stop the noise, I go in and turn him over when he starts snoring and then re tuck him in pretty firmly. I have never awakened him in doing this because he is a deep sleeper. Usually, he snores just for the first couple of hours and then stops so I am awake to keep changing his position.

You might have your sons tonsils checked out if you are quite concerned but I believe that my son's snoring has greatly reduced through both age and my readjusting him early in the evening. And, yes, I agree that a 2 year old can snore very loudly! Kathleen