3 Year Olds Wetting the Bed

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Archived Q&A and Reviews

Questions

Need advice for nighttime potty training for 3yo

March 2011

My 3 year old is doing well during the day with potty training. Need advice for nightime potty training. What works? What did you do? Any products that protect bed sheets from bed wetting so we don't have to keep doing laundry? Thanks moms and dads out there!

I just wanted to tell you about one trick a friend taught me. When you make the bed, put down a sheet then a bed sized waterproof barier, then another fitted sheet on top. That way if there are accidents in the night you can just quickly rip off the top sheet and the bed is slready made with a dry sheet underneath. Also have a clean blanket easily accesable. Really makes those inevitable night time accidents easier to deal with. Good luck! G

I think 3 is still pretty young to expect your child to be dry every night. Although, my daughter was dry every night by then, but my son--whew--was a bed wetter until he was 10 or 11.

Our best solution was to buy a very large pad, which was the width of a regular top sheet. It was waterproof underneath, but white sheet material on top. It took up about the middle third of the bed. We would lay it down and tuck it in, then if my son wet, he could easily take it off himself (your child is probably still too young for that), put it in the bathtub, change his pants, and go back to sleep. I made a second one out of a waterproof mattress pad.

His issue was that he was and still is a very heavy sleeper. We tried the bedwetting alarm and he always slept through it!!!

So, basically, his bed was all trussed up with a plastic casing around the mattress, waterproof mattress pad, sheets, then the special waterproof pad thingie.

In case they have not yet come up, here are several basics that often help.

 

  • avoid liquids entirely during last two hours before bedtime
  • use toilet on way to bed
  • if you go to bed several hours later, consider waking your child on your way to bed to give her a chance to use the toilet one more time
  • temporarily, ask her to wear as few bedclothes as possible (e.g., just panties) and use as few blankets as possible
  • if you are a heavy sleeper, make sure you have a way to know when she wakes to pee (e.g., use monitor) so you can assist and praise
  • lots of praise for success; very matter of fact for accidents (oops, try again)
  • mommy and/or daddy clean up, not child
  • arrange a.m. incentive, e.g., preferred breakfast if clean and dry, ''regular'' breakfast if not
  • make a success chart
  • involve other family members (e.g., grandparents) in success
  • no hint of punishment or anger about accidents
  • try to stretch out the intervals between toilet times during the day, maintaining success

Three is pretty early for all night success, but not unreasonable. Different parents choose different targets: retain all night, pee on arising; wake up and go once during the night; etc.

Best wishes and positive thoughts - Frank

One tip we tried (it may have helped - hard to tell), was to not put undies on our daughter at night. She would sleep commando under her nightgown. The idea was that we didn't want her body to register panties as ''diapers'' in her sleep.

Other than that, my understanding is that they just physically have to develop into being able to stay dry all night. Good luck

3-year-old doesn't want to wear diapers at night

Feb 2008

Hi everyone, I am looking for suggestions on how to help my daughter stay dry at night. She is 3 years old (and I realize this is on the young side for this) but has been daytime potty trained for about a year now. She recently told me that she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore, but wants to wear underwear at night. She is never dry in the morning, but recently has been going to the bathroom just upon awakening, and it is a good amount of urine, so I know she CAN hold it when she's asleep- I'm just not sure for how long... The second issue is that she has always worn cloth diapers, and currently cannot undo her diaper by herself. Does anyone have good suggestions for cloth type pull-ups? I'm okay with washing diapers still, but she seems ready to move on... Thanks Have a big girl now

My 2.5 year old uses Bummi diaper covers with the velcro flaps. She pulls the velcros off and lets the diaper drop to the floor and then climbs up to the toilet to potty. She has expressed the desire to wear underwear to bed, however, since she doesn't go potty when she first wakes up (even though the diaper is dry at the time), we've not actually done that yet. However, we have agreed that if she can wait up two mornings in a row with dry diapers and ask to go potty upon waking, we will let her wear underwear to bed. We also put doggy training pads under the sheet in case of accidents. crystal

My son said the same thing. He said diapers were for babies so we put him in underwear at night & protected the mattress. We had some wet nights but he got it down pretty quickly. And then, he got up to pee for awhile and now he sleeps through the night. Another thought, maybe she's wakes up wet because she's in a diaper & knows she doesn't have to get up. I say take advantage of her desire to wear underwear now before she changes her mind! And, IMO she is not on the young side, if she's ready, she's ready. Follow her lead! anon

Almost 3-year-old wakes us up at night to use the potty

July 2005

For the past few weeks my almost 3 year wakes at night to go pee. He is still in a crib so we have to get up with him. He has been potty trained since 2 1/2 except at nighttime. He goes right back to sleep however occassionally he wakes up his brother in the same room. It also often takes me a while to go back to sleep. We have wondered about moving him to a bed, but still think he will cry out for us to help him in the middle of the night. Prior to this his diapers were almost always wet at night - now they are dry. He generally doesn't get any milk before bed but does drink water in the evening. Is this something he will just outgrow? Any advice??
tired mama

First, let me say that I sympathize with your sleeplessness. The solution is simple...get him a bed and make SURE he goes potty right before bedtime. My daughter is three and sleeps in a pull-up. She is in a big-girl bed and we do not allow liquids within 30 minutes of bedtime. Also, going right before sleep allows them to empty what little may be in the bladder. You have to be strong and consistent! Good luck. never wet at night

I know this feels like a problem due to loss of sleep, but by the books this is GREAT that he is aware and able to initiate going to the potty rather than wetting the bed or regressing back to diapers. Of course you can limit liquids before bed to decrease the need but short of that, I would actually be praising him for his ability to seek out the potty. When he's in a regular bed he will be able to bring himself, or if he's still scared to go to the bathroom alone you could have a child's potty by the bed. If he then still wants assistance it may take some time and positive reinforcement for him to gain confidence to go himself at night without assistance. Deb

A 3 year old is pretty young to be expected to get up by herself at night without your assitance, if she has to go. If she pretty reliably needs to go every night and you're worried about her waking the other child, you might try waking her up yourself a bit before she usually wakes herself, to avoid the noise. Just for comparison, my 6 year old stopped needing help around age 4 and no longer gets up in the night, while my ten year old still gets up, and still on occasion needs our help. Each kid is different. anon

Wow, it doesn't sound like much of a problem that your child under three is so well potty trained he wakes up at night to use the potty! I wish my 4 year old did that - she sleeps so soundly, she still has to use a pull up or she will wet the bed.

The standard advice in this situation, I believe, is to wake your child to use the potty just before YOU go to sleep. Then there's a better chance the child will make it till morning. Restrict liquids before bedtime. You might also try a regular bed - your child may learn from you how to go use the potty by himself at night.

But from my perspective, I wouldn't try to discourage night time potty visits, because once they start going in the pull up at night, it's difficult to get them to stop. anon

Don't let this window of opportunity close for 100% potty training! Get him a bed, let him sleep in underwear. Waking you up at night for help will probably only last for a couple of months. Mom of a 5 year old

3-year-old twins' endless trips to the bathroom at bedtime

Sept 2005

Our three year old twins are doing well with day-time potty training but bedtime is becoming a circus. If they are not quite settled down at bedtime (which happens a couple of times a week if they happen to nap that day) they get up several times after lights are out and tell me they need to go. These trips drag out bedtime to 10pm as we pace back and forth to the potty.

Like I said, once in a while they seem to need that nap and then I have to extend bedtime a half an hour or more, past 9pm. We have a set routine that includes potty time before bed but if they say they need to go after lights out, I feel I always need to treat that seriously. They do go, even if just a few trickles, about 80% of the time after lights out. Also, if they need to go after lights out, we don't turn up the bathroom light much, I don't allow more books, and I just put them back into bed (as opposed to kisses and hugs which have already gone round).

But also, because they are not night time potty trained, they still wear a diaper to bed, so the extra trips to the potty not only drag out bedtime but I'm putting back on diapers 3-4 times per kid (that's eight re-diaperings in about 30 minutes). Whew my back!

Is this a phase (to drag out the bedtime ritual) that will pass or are there tricks I can use to get them to go potty and also think they are done? I don't want give them a message they cannot get up to use the potty so I'm a bit stumped. Potty mama

Pullups are MUCH easier to deal with than diapers. If your kids can get up and go at night without involving so much of your time of attention, maybe they'll stop yanking your chain this way. Sara

When will 3.3 year old be ready to stop wearing diapers at night?

April 2006

My son is 3.3 years old and has been out of diapers since he was 2.5 years old. He sleeps like a rock and becomes EXTREMELY irritable when awoken ''before his time.'' When do I know he's ready to stop wearing diapers at night/nap? How do we get him to stop wearing diapers during his sleep? I have seen him sleep through wet clothes and sheets so I don't think that it would motivate him to not pee in bed. We already try to limit his liquid intake and make him pee before bedtime. Is there any way to train him without waking him up in mid-slumber? He now has occasional dry diapers in the morning but they're mostly wet. Any tips would be helpful- thanks. eugenie

My son is just a little older than yours (3 yr, 8 mo), and I think he was in exactly the same place yours is at 3 yr 3 mo. He was pretty much dry during the day, we'd put him in pullups for night, and he'd sometimes have a dry one in the morning but not usually. A few months after that he started waking up when he needed to pee and crying, and we'd bring him to the potty. Now he wakes up and says that he needs the potty.

We didn't do anything special... just continued with that. Today he told me, ''Mama, Friday is the last day that I'll wear a pull-up. AFter that I'm going to wear underwear to bed.'' We did have a week or so where he wore underwear to bed about 2 months ago and stayed dry, then after a night where he wet his underwear he started asking for a pullup again. Lately though his pullups have been dry every morning.

So I guess what I'm saying is that we've entirely left it to him (of course, getting excited with him about being dry in the morning, but otherwise no pushing one way or the other)... and he's on his way to night potty-training himself. will be happy when he can take himself to the potty though!

If your son is over three and still wearing diapers then he is not potty trained... But don't worry! I think you just need to stop letting him rely on the diaper for nap/bed time and just go for it. You may have a bed wetter for a six months to a year (the older the child, the longer it takes) but he has got to learn to wake himself up or hold his pee. It is better now than when he is older! The diaper is not letting him learn. Do not use pull ups or any disposable diapers. Get him in the cotton training pants--you can even fold a cloth diaper in thirds and put this in the training pants if need be. A good way to deal with the bed is to buy some extra shower curtains. Cut them in half--and then put one on top of the top sheet and then place a big towel on top of that. Then another plastic sheet, then another towel. I wouls set an alarm and check him every three hours or so at night. When he is wet immediately wake him up or change him if he will not wake up at all (he will cry, but he needs to learn this)--remove the first towel and plastic sheet and put him back to bed dry. This way you don't have to make the whold bed in the middle of the night. Two weeks of this and you will notice him changing. Sure he'll still have accidents, but all kids do. Try to keep positive and just keep saying ''we need to keep you clean and dry.'' Cloth Diapers Rule

My advice for you is to just let it go for awhile. Especially at night, there's probably nothing you can do with a three-year-old boy to get him to wake up when he has to go; nor can his bladder probably hold enough to get him through most nights. He's just going to have to grow out of it. Everything I have read says that many kids, boys especially, may have to wait until they are at least 6 before they can make it through the night. My son's almost 5, and sleeps extremely deeply; he wears the ''good- night'' kid diapers. Just in the last month or so, he's started to have more than a very occasional dry diaper. When more than 50% of his diapers are dry, I'll think about it. In the meantime, it's just not worth worrying about, as it is perfectly normal. Karen

My 3 year old has also been potty trained since 2.5 yrs. He doesn't wear a pull-up at nap time, and has no problem with that as long as he pees right before going down. At night he still wears a pull-up, and I am prepared to do that until he's 5 or so.

It's quite common for boys to have a hard time w/ bed wetting at night. Our other son, who's in his teens, wet his bed at night at least once a week until he was 12. According to the Nat'l Kidney Foundation, that's totally normal in boys. Even waking him up at night didn't help, and other things we'd heard said that was bad to do as you interrupt their deep sleep regularly. Small bladders and other conditions in boys are also common, and for older kids there are bladder stretching excersises that your doctor should be able to teach him. anon

My son is almost 6 years old and is soaking wet every night. Why? Because he sleeps deeply and is not ready to be dry at night. Many, if not most, boys are in the same boat. Our ped. is not even going to recommend nighttime dryness methods until he is 8 because it just doesn't work this early.

Contrary to what someone has said, your son IS potty trained even if he is not dry at night and he very well might not be ready to ''learn to wake himself up or hold his pee.''

He has no control of what his body does when he's sleeping and pushing the issue might lead to worse problems. My advice, let it go and he will be dry at night when his body is ready to be dry. Good luck! Jen

Diaper Leaking at night - 3.5 y/o boy

April 2005

Help with advice for best night time disposable for a 3.5 y/o boy whose diaper overfills/leaks often. He pees before bed and has milk 1/2 bfr bed. Any recomendations so that we are not waking up at 4:30 and 5:00 with wet jammies? Thanks

Try Huggies Overnights, purple package, hard to find, look at Walgreens. Carolyn

I used to use diaper doublers but the drug stores near my house don't carry them anymore. I now just use a nighttime maxi pad and it works great. I usually fold under the top inch or so just to give extra coverage at the very top of the diaper. anon

Get the GoodNites brand of night time pull-ups. At this point diapers and regular pull-ups won't work. Make sure his penis is pointing down too! Been There

Friend says I should have stopped 3.5's diapers cold turkey

Aug 2003

Hello, Our 2 3/4 year old daughter is potty trained, but still uses a pull up or diaper for nap and night time. We just did this because that's what we saw friends of ours with older children do. Recently we had some friends over who have a 3 1/2 year old who said we should've stopped diapers cold turkey at all times when she potty trained .Do any of you have advice on transitioning out of diapers for nap and night time? Thanks so much!

The process of potty-training our daughter was in phases, and I really feel this was the best. My daughter is over three. She first became potty- trained for everything except nap-time and night-time. Now she can get through her nap in her panties. We still have her in a diaper at night, and she wakes up most mornings with a very wet diaper. I talked to our pediatrician, and she said some children simply cannot hold their bladders all night. I would hate to think of the daily struggle of cleaning up a messy bed every morning in an attempt to go cold turkey (both effort-wise and my daughter's self esteem). If your child is not that wet after nap/night-time, you could talk to her about trying to stay dry for her naps, and then move on to night-time from there.

Also, we encourage our daughter to drink lots of water all day. We know we will have to do a better job of tapering this off at night, but with the heat and her high activity level, we have let her drink what she wants. Monitoring your child's fluid intake may be something that works for you, but I think 2 3/4 is pretty young to be completely potty trained. Elizabeth

My daughter was finally potty trained during the day, around her 3rd birthday. A couple weeks later she was dry all night, for a week straight. We kept her in Pull-Ups after she was day-trained, assuming it would take months for the night training to follow...but it happened spontaneously, and fairly quickly. Once she'd been dry every night for a week, she switched to sleeping in panties, with only a rare accident once or twice since (it's been 6 months). I don't think there's much you can do to speed it along, it just happens...their muscles & brains have to connect, and once they do, they stay dry all night. Best of luck! Heidi

I have been very pragmatic about this issue -- I don't see how you ''train'' kids to do something while they're asleep. Both my older kids eventually stopped peeing during sleep on their own -- but rather later than other kids did. Basically, when your child is dry through the night for several nights running (or through nap time, which ususally happens first), then you take off the pullup. I get the kids to pee before bed and try to limit fluids. Otherwise, what can you do? Mom of 3

My friend did the biggest favor by lending us her absorbent bed bads (they absorb without leaking) that were similar to lap pads but much larger. That night we put one on my daughter's bed and one on our bed, and have not put her in pull-ups since. She had about 7 accidents and as soon as I figured out that her last drink had to be one hour before bedtime, the few accidents stopped altogether. It's been great! Good luck. am

Just because it worked for their kid doesn't mean it's best for your kid.

I think 2 3/4 is pretty young to be dry at night. My boy trained during the daytime quite early (about 22 months) but he's now 3 1/2 and just recently stopped nighttime diapers (naptime diapers stopped at about 2 3/4). It's a big challenge and there are still lots of accidents, and most of my friends are telling me that's too young!

What ended up happening for us is that at naptime he was quite often dry afterward, so we just stopped using them. Bedtime happened when there was a miscommunication and nobody put him in a diaper one night, and he woke up dry. After that, we used a reward system (stay dry seven nights and get Bob the Builder underwear) that worked just fine. Anon