Teen's Trouble Falling Asleep

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Questions

• Insomnia in 15 year old
• Teen son has always had difficulty falling asleep
• 13 yr. old daughter is unable to fall asleep
• 12 year old needs help falling asleep
• 13-year-old daughter has terrible insomnia

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Insomnia in 15 year old

July 2012

My 15 year old daughter who is finishing her freshman year in high school, is having difficulty falling asleep at night and sometimes difficulty staying asleep. This lack of sleep has been affecting her mood and overall sense of well-being. She has been taking melatonin, (because she and I were desperate), and it helps somewhat, but not enough. I was wondering if anyone has advice for dealing with insomnia at this age. I am thinking that meditation and/or yoga might help. Does anyone out there have any recommendations for a yoga class or a meditation class for teenagers? Thank you! Sleepless in South Berkeley

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Try Ferber's book ''Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems.'' It's not just for babies, and has information on teen sleep patterns and issues. I recall my old version having whole sections on teens. My newer edition doesn't seem to pull out the teen material separately; you find it in the index under Adolescent. Worth picking up used or at the library for science-based ideas and background on sleep.

Keep in mind that teenagers generally are owls, not larks. My teens will all sleep until noon, including my daughter in college. Your teenager may be moving into that cycle, which is tough as schools aren't geared for it. In the meantime, I'd let her sleep in on weekends if you can; for my 14-year-old, who has a lot of mood issues, it's really important that we let him sleep in as long as he wants on the weekends to catch up. I think studies indicate that it's better to wake up at the same time each day for optimum mental and physical energy. I find that true for myself, but for our 14-year-old, it's just best to get him enough sleep whenever we can. Fortunately we can still get him into bed at 10 p.m. We'll see how long it lasts. are you still sleeping?

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Hi Mom of 15 yo sleepless daughter, I have a few questions for you and suggestions...

1. Is your daughter drinking caffeinated sodas/coffee, eating chocolate in the afternoon, evening? If yes, those should stop. She shouldn't have any foods that might be stimulating (yes, even chocolate) after Noon probably, if at all. If she eats a lot of sugar she should think about cutting down on any sugary things in the afternoon and especially the evening.

2. Is she on the computer or watching TV before bed? She should turn both off at least an hour before bed. The ''blue light'' from both stimulate the brain and will keep her awake.

3. Does she have TV/computer in her room? They should come out or be unplugged before bed (and again, at least an hour before bed). Even when turned off, unless unplugged they still emit that blue light.

4. Is her room totally dark? I mean TOTALLY dark? Shades pulled down, no outside lights shining in, no night lights. Maybe try black out curtains or shades. This will make a difference in her ability to fall assleep and stay assleep.

Beyond that, meditation can be helpful. If she's someone who exercises she should do it earlier in the day, as exercise is a ''waker upper''. I can't speak for Yoga, as I haven't done it in many years. Warm tea may help soothe her nervous system...Chamomile especially, but I don't know how effective that is. Does she have particular stressors in her life that may be keeping her awake? Worrying about anything?

I hope some of this info helps. Good luck. fellow mom of sleepless teens.

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Hi, I have suffered a lot from insomnia as well. Here are some things that have helped me: Get out in the sun every day and let your skin absorb the rays. This helps your body sense when it's day & when it's night. It's even better if you exercise in the sun & sweat. Avoid using computer/texting for @ least 2 hours b4 bedtime. Don't use computer in middle of night. It's the worst thing. The light from screen tricks brain into thinking it's daytime so your cycles get mixed up. Don't do hard homework or taxing mental chores or watch Rambo-type movies @ night. Have regular routine each night that you follow religiously b4 bed. Maybe you want to do homework, meditate, take a hot shower, listen to music, then go to bed. Do it your way, but make make it relaxing and try to go to bed & get up at same time each day, even on weekends. I don't recommend the 10pm news as you'll be watching fires, shoot-outs, riots etc.which may not be too relaxing. If I wake up @ nite, a hot shower is relaxing to help me fall back asleep. Avoid sugar, chocolate, soda, all caffeine after 3pm.

Most importantly, don't use bed 4 reading, computer, knitting, phone calls or anything but sleep. To do so makes your brain associate bed w/ being awake & active. Kaiser has class Mastering Your Insomnia that is helpful. --Sweet dreams!

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Teen son has always had difficulty falling asleep

Oct 2009

Ever since my son was an infant he has had difficulty falling asleep. He has seen a homeopath at the Hanneman Clinic, seen a cranioscral specialist, taken natural sleep supplements, and tried a sleep program at the UC Berkeley Psychology Dept., all without success. My request is if anyone has dealt with sleep issues, esp. in teen- agers please let me know how you solved them. I feel I have tried almost everything I know.

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as a fellow mom of an insomniac since birth, as well as a sometimes insomniac myself, i know of what you speak. and you and your son might not want to hear this, or maybe you will, but it might be time just to accept it, and realize that maybe, he's just a terrible sleeper/part of his hardwiring, and you learn to live with it. that's basically what happened with my son, and he's a pretty bright, happy, successful kid (he's now 21). one of my very best friends is also a lifelong insomniac, and she too has a very rich and rewarding life. sometimes there aren't solutions to problems, and you just learn to live with them, like taking naps when you can, sleeping more on weekends, and learning to cope when you feel tired. might not be what you want to hear, but it hope it helps. mom of lifelong insomniac

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I have a 17 yr old daughter who has struggled with sleep since she was an infant. She showed a delayed sleep phase, unable to fall asleep before the wee hours of the morning, something that interfered big time with school. She would spend hours in bed, unable to sleep. The above affected her mood, anxiety level, alertness in school and school performance, weight,and her relationships with friends. We tried a myriad of medications, for anxiety, depression, etc. Finally, I had to switch psychiatrists in order to find a doc who was willing to put her on sleep medication, Ambien. My daughter is now a different person. She sleeps 8 hours a night. Her anxiety is much improved, the depression disappeared. She is no longer falling aleep in class and her social life is one of good and close friends. Once my daughter started on sleeping medication, the change in her was remarkable, in all aspects of her life. I wish I had gone the above route years beforehand. Peggy

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My daughter has had terrible sleep issues since she was an infant. She is now a junior in college. During high school her lack of sleep was especially difficult for her to deal with. She finally went to the sleep clinic at Stanford, where she is a student, and received the best advice she ever got. She was told that for one month she had to get up every morning by 8:00 am and immediately (within 5 minutes) get outside in the daylight and exercise for an hour. She was never a serious athlete or exerciser, but for a month she got up every day and ran or walked for an hour. No matter what time she went to sleep (or didn't), she had to get up and exercise out in the daylight by 8 am. She was told that if she missed a day, she would have to start back at day one and then continue for a month. She also couldn't take more than one nap for 30 minutes during the day. She was so desperate that she was willing to commit to this regimen, and it made a world of difference. Now, whenever she falls back into a sleepless state she can get back into this routine for a few days and she's back to sleeping reasonably well (for a college student!). I highly recommend that your child give this a try. It may be that you will need a doctor or other professional to make the recommendation in order for it to be taken seriously enough to be followed conscientiously. Mom to a former insomniac

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13 yr. old daughter is unable to fall asleep

April 2009

Hello, I need advice about my 13 1/2 yr. old daughter's inablility to fall asleep. She lies awake anxious and fearful about the dark. She has a nightlight and usually sleeps with the dog in her room.However, she goes into her little brother's room and falls asleep in his bed, disturbing him regularly. We thought she would grow out of it but it seems to be getting worse. She says there is nothing much she is anxious about at school, she's got friends and is generally of a happy disposition. All her fears seem to come out at night, although she cannot articulate them beyond ''I feel something's going to come and get me.'' Does she have OCD? Should she see a therapist? Please advise. Anxious mom

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Hi. Yoga can help her calm her nerves. Also, having her get up at 6 a.m. and going out for a nice walk with her and talking about things might help her get to sleep as she'll be exhausted from getting up early. You could also try to lay down with her and listen to some calming music with her and/or touching her head gently as she lulls herself to sleep. Yes, she may be 13 years-old and some of these methods might seem to ''old,'' for her but she's desiring some companionship at night to help her with her night terros. Also, emphasizing to her that she's protected, loved, and cared for may help her with her anxiety. Good luck and cherish these moments with your daughter. I do these techniques with each of my sons in particular my 10 year old when he's struggling with his anxiety fits...good luck!!! mother, too

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Hi, I recommend the book Sleepless in America by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka which has lots of good perspective on understanding your individual child.

You might try out a couple of remedies available at health food stores--Rescue Sleep (Bach Flower essence)and Calms Forte (homeopathic). Also consider looking into the Emotional Freedom Technique--google it--basic instructions can be downloaded, learned at home and applied if she is motivated. This can be quite effective with fears. It is relaxing, and in my experience, helps some people fall asleep easily.

If you and your daughter want further assistance, there are practitioners around who consult on fears and sleep in brief therapy, such as Jill Shugart in Berkeley, and myself. (I have an interest in this area, did research on kids and sleep for sleepgarden.com, with booklet and CD of guided relaxation,and/or music--Zkids).

You are welcome to contact me to talk things over. Sleepy wishes, Jenny

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12 year old needs help falling asleep

Oct 2006

Help! My 12-year-old daughter can't fall asleep on her own! She is taking long-acting medication for ADD so that might be a factor, but the truth is she has never been a good sleeper, and always refuses sleepovers, trips away from home and sleepaway camp because she is worried that she will not fall asleep and will be awake all night in a house/bunk full of sleeping people. She told me just last night (when she couldn't sleep and I wanted to!) that she doesn't ''know how'' to fall asleep. Any ideas? I'd even be willing to take her to a clinic if there is one that deals with such problems. She is starting to really feel bad that she can't spend the night away from us and frankly, my husband and I could use a break too! Mother of a night owl

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Your daughter sounds very much like my 13 year-old son. He takes medication for ADD but, like your daughter, has never been a great sleeper. The trick is to get them to accept that it is OK not to be sleeping and not to feel all alone if they are awake while others sleep. My son listens to audio tape books and the sound of the human voice can feel like company. When he is at friends' houses or camp, he takes his IPOD. He can listen to music with headphones and could (but hasn't yet) downloaded books to listen to. It took him awhile to stop feeling anxious about being awake and it may be that your daughter will, as she matures, reach this place. Good luck. Jocelyn

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I have a 12 year old daughter that also has trouble with falling asleep. We found something by accident recently. For years, I've been laying down with her when she goes to bed, and often falling asleep myself. Something that has made a huge difference (but is an unplanned surprise) is a kitten. The cat cuddles up to sleep with her every night, and they are both out in minutes. We also leave a low level light on, or the computer for light/sound. With the help of the kitten, she is now quite independent about bed time. Works much better than the stuffed animals! anderson

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Nothing that a 2 hour daily soccer practice wouldn't cure. Probably'd get her off the ADD meds too. Sean

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I sympathize. Sleep deprivation is awful, and young teens already have a hard time with their circadian rhythms shifting later than the school schedules permit.

You may get some responses suggesting behavior changes (afternoon exercise, nighttime reading or stretching or shower, nighttime ritual like talking together, music tapes in the dark, yoga, self-hypnosis, no TV watching before bed, not having a 1st period class so teen can sleep later in the morning) or dietary changes (chamomile tea or warm milk at bedtime, or carbs like fruit or bread, but no protein or sugar, after dinner).

I got a chamomile-based pill called Calm-forte at the natural food store at El Cerrito Plaza that the staff said was appropriate for younger teens. It helped my kids. Now that my son is 16 he occasionally takes melatonin before bed. You can get that cheaply at Trader Joe's. Either pill may be a placebo, but I don't think they're harmful. However, you might want to check with your doctor or pharmacist regarding drug interactions with food or supplements. good luck

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I would be concerned as to whether the ADHD medication dosage is proper. As one who is generally critical of the use of stimulant drugs in children, I am very sensitive about kids who, while on this medication, have trouble with normal sleep cycles. Sleep deprivation (Inormal cycles) can be as harmful to the learning process as so- called ADHD. I would recommend consultation regarding the drug regimen. Robert

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I am appalled by the negative messages about ADHD that have appeared in the last few newsletters. I am a psychotherapist who has treated both adults and kids with ADHD for many years. To say it is ''so called'' ADHD or to criticize a parent's decision to use medication is just wrong and uncaring. Try walking around in the shoes of someone who is dealing with ADHD themselves or parenting a child with this well documented and real condition before such criticism is spoken. Medication does help ADHD and was shown by one of the biggest studies done on children with the condition (the MTA study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health) to be the most effective strategy to use. My belief is anyone who doesn't want to use it shouldn't but parents of kids with ADHD have a big enough struggle without others condemning them for using the most effective treatment for this condition!That said, it is possible the medication dosage is keeping your child awake and it is wise to discuss that with your pediatrician. Melinda

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I did not see the original post, but when my son had trouble sleeping in 4th/5th grade, I had success with melatonin, herbal based, avail. only in health food stores, and generally considered ''safe.'' I find that 1/2 tablet, about 30 min. before bedtime relaxed him enough to allow a good night's sleep. No side effects (that I can detect). His only other medicine was for allergy. Would also recommend physical exercise. If your child does not do competitive sports, try swimming 3-4x a week. After swimming lessons, my child no longer has trouble sleeping and the overall health benefits are tremendous. Anon.

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13-year-old daughter has terrible insomnia

November 2001

Our daughter, 13, is a high achieving and motivated public school student. Starting last June, she began to have terrible insomnia. It continued through the summer, despite being engaged in vigorous physical activities. She swears that she is not worried about anything (except not sleeping). I visited the Food Mill (a good source of information on homeopathic/naturopathic treatments) and began giving her Passionflower/chamomile tea and Valerian. These seemed to have little or no effect. She tried adjusting her bedtime and waking time with no change. She increased her swimming in an effort to fatigue herself. Needless to say, she was a frustrated and fragile person much of the time; grouchy to her sisters, dad and me.

We consulted her pediatrician, who was not much help, but did say that she had seen several kids that week with the same complaint!

I had hoped, that when school began in September, the problem would resolve itself. It has improved, but she still has nights with little sleep several times per week. I just don't know what to think. After a day of school, swim workouts and hours of homework she should be exhausted, but isn't. She is not a nervous energy sort of person. Now I don't know what, if anything, I can do to help my daughter. She is becoming concerned because she must soon take the ISEE and other entrance exams for high school admission, and she wants to do well. Her dad and I are trying to keep all of this as 'low key' as possible, since we both find the pressures placed on such young kids to be unreasonable.

Is there anything else I might do to help her? I really don't want her to be medicated constantly, but she certainly needs more rest. Has anyone else experienced this with their daughter? Suggestions welcome!

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a brief response/query to the mom with the daughter having insomnia -- it sounded like she was tired and fatigued during the summer, but I wasn't sure if she's still tired now. I only ask because my son has basically been an insomniac since birth -- he's always gotten much less sleep than his peers. My son's pattern is that he does fine during the school week, and then on the weekend he crashes and sleeps a lot (during the week he falls asleep b/t 11:30 and 12 and is up at 7:30, and often says he wakes up in the middle of the night). If she's functioning okay during the week, I'd just let it ride. Even though she says she's not feeling worried or stressed, she might be having some anxiety around the high school entrance exam, or something else, and the sleep disruption is just how the anxiety is coming out. asa

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To the parent whose 13-year old daughter has insomnia, your daughter probably IS feeling exhausted, but just is unable to relax or slow down her brain enough to go to sleep. I remember that I had sleep problems also at exactly that age. They lasted for several months, and then gradually went away on their on. I think that was the year when I first began taking advanced classes in school. It is a busy time for kids - lots of new stuff to take in and deal with, lots of hormones swirling around, school and social issues, and family too. Your presence probably is a comfort to her, and it sounds good that you are trying to keep things low key. I remember that I finally would fall asleep that year around 2 or 3 a.m., usually after I woke up my mother and had her sit with me for a few minutes while I had a glass of milk and a cookie.

Do you have Kaiser coverage? I know that Kaiser has a program to help people who are having sleep problems. It is an amazingly common problem. You might also consult a therapist. While you may not want your daughter to rely on medication as a permanent thing to get to sleep (completely understandable concern), she may at this point be feeling so worried and anxious about whether she will be able to sleep that she is too wound up to let go and get there. I consulted a psychiatrist at Kaiser when my sleep problems briefly resurfaced as an adult. He prescribed an antidepressant which he said was not addictive. I did use it sometimes and it did help. When my sleep problems got better, I stopped using it without a problem.

I found the sleeping class even more helpful tho' because it gave really good practical tips on how to help yourself sleep. Here are some of the top tips I heard there: Try to get up and go to sleep each day at pretty much the same time - so that is weekdays and weekends alike. If you sleep in on weekends, you are not as ready to go to sleep at your normal time (say on a Sunday). (I resisted this advice at first because I dearly love sleeping in on the weekends, especially after not falling asleep until late or being sleep deprived from the week, but I finally did try just routinely getting up EVERY day at 7 a.m. or earlier and it really did seem to help.) If you fall asleep late or have trouble sleeping at night, still get yourself up early and do NOT take naps. Try to use your bedroom only for sleeping. If your daughter is doing homework in her room she may associate the room with thoughts of school and have trouble relaxing. If she uses her room to watch tv, she is getting used to thinking of it as a place where she does things other than sleep. It is good to get used to using the room (and associating it) primarily with sleep. Don't look at the clock as you are getting ready for bed or while you are in bed or if you are having trouble sleeping - it just makes you more tense. If you don't fall asleep within a reasonable time of going to bed (e.g., 10 or 15 minutes) GET UP and go do something in another room that is not stimulating or stressful - read a book, whatch tv, sweep the floor - until you begin to relax, then go back to bed and try again. If you remain in bed for too long not sleeping, it reinforces the notion that the bed is not a place where you sleep. These things helped me a lot. I hope that they help your daughter. Hang in there, and good luck! Sleep problems are a giant bummer but they probably will improve with time. DMorris

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Do you know whether or not your daughter drinks anything caffeinated - colas, frappacinos, etc.? Some people are mighty sensitive to caffeine.

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I would get back to that pediatrician and ask for a referral to a sleep clinic. You also might do a psychological evaluation; your daughter may be more stressed than any of you realize. She's at a very anxious point in life, when childhood is clearly coming to an end and the direction of her adult life has not yet come clear.

There are some mental tricks for getting your conscious mind to let go that she could learn from a psychologist or clinic, or probably find by researching the internet. I have had insomnia all my life and have had good results using time-released melatonin (Long's sells it). Another remedy that has been helpful is Hylands Calms Forte. Hot milk in combination with one of these works well for my ordinary insomnia episodes.

Insomnia is one of those things that you deal with intermittently all your life, if you're one of those people that gets it. You are doing a very good thing to help your daughter learn how to deal with it. Good luck; I hope you find her the help she needs. Louise

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I recently went through several health issues resulting in my sleep patterns getting totally screwed up. My doctor put me on ambien for the next two weeks to get me back on line. He has done this for me before and it has helped tremendously. I'll sleep for at least six hours and I don't wake up groggy. This is not a long term treatment. It is only meant to teach your body to get back on track.

Find another doctor or mention a short term sleeping aid to help her body adjust back to its normal cycle. For whatever the reason, your daughter's sleep cycle has been interrupted and she needs help getting it back. Not being able to sleep is hard enough on adults. I can only imagine what it's like for children who need more of it. marianne

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I also have a young teenage female athlete who periodically cannot unwind. She has found relief through acupuncture and hypnotherapy. Marilyn Gordon is a resourceful hypnotherapist in Oakland who makes custom tapes for issues like these. She has experience working with children and teens. Years of experience as a hypnotherapist. Our daughter was also in the first year of her menstrual cycle. The acupuncture and herbs were helpful in smoothing out some of the raging hormones that were keeping her restless.

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Re: daughter who isn't sleeping. This sounds biochemical to me. I'd go to a good psychiatrist.

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I would like to reply to the parent whose daughter has insomnia: Our 15 year old son has had sleep difficulties for years, but the problem became extreme this past summer. He has Tourette's, so our pediatrician recommended we talk to the neurologist. The neurologist recommended melatonin. The melatonin works very well - almost too well: on the nights he takes it, our son falls asleep quickly and sleeps through the night but he is often dozy and difficult to wake up the next morning. We're still trying to find the best dose.

Since melatonin is a hormone, it is really important to talk to your daughter's pediatrician before initiating therapy. As a pharmacist, I would caution against using prescription sleep medications (Ambien or the various benzodiazepines, such as Ativan or Restoril). These drugs can cause dependency and, as such, are inappropriate for use in children and teens.

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I recently heard an interesting program on KPFA, on the issue of sleep. Here are my notes.

We live in a society that does not understand fatigue. We think that we need sleep when we are sleepy (ie. can no longer focuse, concentrate or stay awake). That is not correct. By that point, we have become over tired. We should instead go to sleep when we are tired. Often, when we pass the threshold of being tired, and stay awake, we become wired and then have a difficult time falling asleep even though we are more fatigued.

Here were some suggestions:
1) develop regular sleep pattersn. ie go to sleep at a regular time;
2) get more sleep if you wake up fatigued. One should wake up refreshed;
3) Go to sleep feeling pleasant - have a hot bath, do something relaxing. Do not get into an argument or exciting conversation, or watch a scary/exciting movie.
4) Have your place of sleep be pleasant and comfortable (good sheets, bedclothes, mattress)
5) make sure your room is dark. Light will cause sleep disturbances including night lights

The doctor interviewed considered good sleep a foundation for good health.

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I don't have much to add except that my own son often experiences the same thing. It was MUCH worse last year and the year before while still in middle school during which he was also increasingly depressed and seriously at risk of failing. I think kids in public middle and high schools these days experience more conflict, noise, crowdedness, pressure, multiple priorities, stress, substance abuse temptation, aggression, and higher work load than most adults, except perhaps the understaffed, unsupported teachers and counselors who work with them. Its an insane environment for anyone.

Now that my son is going to Arrowsmith Academy, he is so much happier, relaxed and having fun learning than I've ever seen him. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off our whole small family of three. He still sometimes stays up too late on weekends with friends, and/or has trouble getting to bed and waking up in the morning but he is so much more able to be self-regulating in managing his sleep needs.

I too would love to hear more about sleep deprivation and changing natural sleep cycles among teens. In particular, I'd like to hear more about what Eileen Hadidian mentioned in her comment:

Studies have shown that teen's biological clocks shift during puberty, and not only do they need more sleep, but they naturally stay up longer and need to sleep longer. Their brains don't start functioning at peak until later in the morning, around 8:30 or 9:00 am. Sleep deprivation amongst our teens is brought on by the multitude of responsibilities they have and by their own natural sleep cycle, which may be impairing their ability of learn and retain information. Thank you for bringing this up. Tani

Editor Note: there is some info about this research on the web here: http://my.webmd.com/content/article/1728.60579 (WebMD website)

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Regarding Ambien, I have used it several times in the last three years to help me get my sleep cycle back to normal (usually after an illness or too many allnighters at work). What was not said about it, is that if used as doctor-directed and for a short period of time (two weeks is normal), it can help your body adjust to a normal sleep cycle which is what you want. I found no grogginess in the mornings with it. I slept for six hours and woke up alert. Don't be afraid of trying something that might help. All drugs have the potential of misuse, but all of them also are there for a reason. Definately talk to your doctor.

Mine is up to date on all the medications and procedures and has changed my prescriptions and treatments a few times because of new things he learned about, so I trust his opinion. Your doctor will be better able to rule out causes for the insomnia and figure out what's best for your teen. Good luck. Marianne

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My 14 year old had been complaining of difficulty falling asleep for about 2 years. She seemed to stay up later and later and getting her up in the mornings to get to school in time was a nightmare. We tried everything--giving her the responsibility (and if she missed school, the onus was on her), helping her wake up, extra-loud alarm clocks strategically positioned (which she slept through.

Then, she joined the Berkeley High crew team. The afternoon practices gave her an excuse to stay up later to complete homework. She wanted to quit crew (which we refused to allow because she had quit every other sport up to that point) We worried about how she was going to manage crew, school, and studies once practices shifted to 5:45.

What a surprise! When she had to started getting up at 5:00 a.m. to get to 5:45 (2 hr) practice sessions, no more sleep problems and no more complaining about quitting. The change was instanteous. She gets up on her own so as not to miss her ride and look irresponsible to her peers (we car pool); she now goes to tutoring after school on her own volition to get help with 2 of her courses. She comes home, does several hours more of homework and is in bed (on her own volition by 10:00 p.m. compared to 12:00 and 1:00 a.m. before) and is asleep within minutes). She's now a solid A student. Go figure. Was it a change in sleep schedule? A shift in exercise schedule? Peer pressure?