Not Like Other Parents

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  • Alternative/Punk/Metal Moms?

    – Mar 4, 2017
    (2 replies)

    I feel a bit awkward and alienated sometimes from sifting and squeezing through personal posts by people I don't seem to have much in common with - other than the fact that we're parents, and live in the same area. While I do have a handful of friends who are parents of young children, they're few and scattered. I know there are more parents out there who exist in other bubbles of punks, metalheads, goths, rubbertramps, hobos, and weirdos. As an expecting first-time parent, I would love to swap ideas, stories, advice, and support with other, more like-minded parents who would be more stoked about a Leftover Crack, Nina Hagen, or Dimmu -patched onsie, than the usual brand-name middle-class merch ;) Anyone like that here on this site?

    Mar 4, 2017

    Oh, don't be fooled. We weirdos are here, but with small children around we often just don't have time to fly our freak flags quite as high as we used to. Also, the demographic trends of the Bay Area are such that most of us are having our babies rather late, when many of us have already had to make concessions to our corporate jobs and take out our more visible piercings and make sure that our business clothes cover up our tattoos. Sometimes, that middle-class merch is often the cheapest and easiest way to get things done. Who's to say that the dad you saw at Target, buying some innocuous white crib, isn't going to take that thing home and cover it with band stickers? We have the same questions and problems as everyone else—how to get Weirdo Jr. to sleep through the night, how early can I take Baby Weirdo to her first bass-heavy campout (my son got his first pair of heavy-duty hearing protection earmuffs at about a month old). Just keep your eyes open and you'll see us—we're at the playground and in the grocery stores, our kids are in your preschool and your playgroup, we've moved our Burning Man camp to Kidsville. We freaks are out there; you're just not seeing us yet.

    I am more neutrally self-identified, culturally, but yeah.  Maybe about half of my favorite people in the world would id with those descriptors.    anyways, i have a 1yo daughter and am happy to be in touch, especially if there's anything i can offer in terms of experience with a new babe. 

    The biggest tip i have is pretty universal, it is to look into RIE parenting before the birth. There's books, also articles online. and here's a start: http://www.respectfulcaregiving.org/articles

    if some of it sounds stuffy or preachy or prescribed, i suggest to ignore it and look further. 

    If you are at all interested in guidance in your new role, this is the most sane and common sense thing i have found, that has helped me so much. there's some classes that are sliding scale, that you can find out about if you end up interested.  great for getting out with a new newborn, even if don't particularly get on with any individuals in the group of parents.  Not really any pressure to be social unless you feel like it.