Neighbors Not Following Pandemic Rules

Parent Q&A

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  • Masks at playgrounds

    Nov 23, 2020

    How is everyone handling people who aren't masked at playgrounds? At least in Berkeley, there are signs everywhere requiring masks for kids and adults, but obviously some people just ignore them, including those with kids perfectly capable of handling it. It drives me crazy to see people acting like rules don't apply to them, but beyond that, these parents are sending a bad message to the kids and putting the rest of us in untenable positions. Would love any strategies anyone has arrived at. 

    I hate to say it but I don't think the mask situation at playgrounds is any different than any other public space. I just got back from a walk on the Ohlone Greenway, very well traveled by cyclists and pedestrians, and about half were masked. (I was!) Many people just don't think it's a priority outside. You certainly can say something to parents or older children but I wouldn't expect to make a huge dent in the problem. You have to decide whether or not the risk is worth it to your family. :(

    I'm not really concerned about no masks outside.  From extensive research and discussion with doctors, Covid has an extremely difficult time to spread outside.  Although these may be the "rules", I put my focus more on where my child will be at risk.  I'd advise if you don't feel comfortable with you child at the park with potentially unmasked children, to not take your child to the park.

    I really wish Public Health would address this. My approach has been to sanitize swings before my kids play on them if there is no one around. If I see a lot of kids - we just avoid it. I was at Fairyland and saw to s of 7/8/9 yr olds not wearing masks. At one point I yelled at my kids “Don’t play near maskless kids!” It worked but shamed all the other kids. I don’t want this generation to be ashamed/scared, but I also want the nonchalant Russians at Heather Farms park to mask their kids ;) 

    As a law enforcement officer, I would recommend just walking away. People are crazy even if they are parents. Have a conversation with your kids before going out to play if they are old enough to take turns when others are around.

    The situation will only change if there's a credible risk of being fined for not wearing a mask, and it doesn't seem that cities are willing to go there. If you know anyone who can influence the city to get them to start ticketing people for not wearing masks (would be a great way to raise revenue!), then persuade them to get this happening! Without that, you'll simply have to adjust your expectations and try not to get upset or stressed when you see people without masks. Yes, they are idiots putting us all at risk, but if they haven't got the message by now they are just too selfish to ever change. 

    This has been driving me crazy. I just try to keep my kid away from those kids, because he's so excited about the playgrounds being open. If I see a ton of unmasked kids, we go somewhere else. If it's just a few, I say loudly if he's near them that it's not safe for him to play near kids without masks. Then I physically move him if I need to (he's only 2, so easy to grab and move). 

    I agree this is very frustrating. I do think people are getting better over time as they see other kids with masks.

    If a kid has a mask but has pulled it down I'll politely ask them to pull it up. Mostly they do. 

    If the playground is not too crowded we try to stay in a different area.

    If the playground is quite crowded and there are a lot of unmasked kids/adults we usually leave :(

    We go to playgrounds early, like right after breakfast, arriving around 8:30am. They’re usually empty or nearly empty so we can keep our distance from other families. Once it gets too crowded to distance, usually around 10am, we leave. I don’t see any point in confronting people who don’t mask. Yes, they’re selfish and wrong, but we can’t kick them out of the park so best to just arrange your schedule in a way that reduces the risk to your family. The only exception to this is one time when there were a couple kids who had masks hanging from lanyards around their necks and they’d clearly just forgotten to put them on and their parent wasn’t paying attention - I asked the kids to put their masks on and they did so right away. 

    I recently approached a parent at a park and asked that they help their child with her mask (she was at least five years old). He seemed a bit irritated, but he complied. I think that there are still many people for whom masks are not normalized and I’m of the opinion that direct non-aggressive communication is the most productive route. 

    I'm not into confronting non-masked people and have left several park situations due to people completely disregarding masking and distancing rules. Parks have been really hit or miss for us this year as such. It's a bummer.
    The only thing I would imagine you could do is buy a box of disposable kid and adult size masks and offer them to folks as needed. You could also consider writing and posting a sign, parent-to-parent, pleading with them to comply. Honestly though, my instinct is if they're disregarding the rules they are also probably enjoying the benefits of having other families avoid them thus allowing them more free reign of the park.

    We were just at a park in Alameda last weekend with 4 older kids running around without masks. They were 8-13 years old. I asked the father if he had masks for them. He also had two younger kids without masks and asked if he had to have them all in a mask. I responded "any child over 3 by law should be wearing a mask-if they can't then they should not be at the park."  He seemed annoyed but went to the car and got his kids' masks. I've decided to start speaking up. Why should my family have to leave a public park because we don't feel safe around kids/parents that aren't following the guidelines?    

    I am not sure of the ages of these noncompliant kids, but I hope you can exercise some grace.  Our son is 2 and has severe sensory issues.  He's had a full-on panic attack from getting sand on bare feet at the beach.  We are patiently and consistently working on these issues, but it's not overnight or easy.  You have no idea how many tears I've cried about how trapped we are in the house because he won't - and frankly cannot - wear a mask without hyperventilating.  Our record is 3 min.  We have ventured to some playgrounds precisely because research shows risk is low outside, and because guidance is for kids *over* 2 (ie: 3+), but we were shamed out of the park the past weekend despite deliberately going to other structures when other children came near, and doing our level best to create significant distance between our family and others.  The worst was a parent who said "if my 1 year old can wear a mask, yours can too" and effectively accused me of being a COVID-19 denier.  When I explained my son's challenge and that we were creating distance, low risk outdoors, etc. they were even more cruel.  This is not a contest, and all kids aren't the same, and parents struggling are doing everything they can for a child with special needs - some of which may not be visible running around the playground.

    I've asked a couple of parents to help their kids put masks on and haven't had any negative reactions - one said he didn't have a mask for his kid, but he was nice about it at least (so the approach of carrying disposable masks would have worked there). We usually avoid the parks if there are too many kids there, but I'm all for asking people nicely to put masks on their kids because I think it's important to create the culture of wearing masks, and a culture of us all being in this together and doing our part to keep each other safe. 

  • Young neighbors moved in recently.

    They have had friends over and hang out. They go our for a run, go to stores, etc. Today, they decided to have a jolly gathering in the backyard with about 8 or 9 people, shoulder to shoulder, laughing, drinking, chairs right next to each other. We have a fence but their congregation is just on the other side of the fence and their walkway is about 4 ft from our windows. The fence has gaps and holes. We are very exposed to them. It’s hot. Our windows are open with a clear view of their party. If the virus can be carried upwind and if one of them have it, we have been exposed. 

    I am upset. We have existing conditions that put us in a high risk category. What can I do? Should I let the landlord know?
     

    We are sheltering in and taking every precaution.  We miss our friends. Kids cry because they miss their friends. They see our neighbors having a party and ask why we can’t see our friends. 

    Speaking with the landlord is probably a good idea.

    I would contact either the city health department if you’re in Berkeley or county health department if not in Berkeley and ask what enforcement actions can be taken. If you don’t get anywhere with health departments I would contact your city council member or county supervisor that represents your neighborhood. This is what local elected officials are for - finding solutions to these types of problems. Good luck!

    Report them. Report them to their landlord and/ or to the police (please use non emergency line). I HATE inconsiderate irresponsible people. So if you are up for it, maybe you should shame them as well. Take their pics and post them around the neighborhood.

    The risk to you of them hanging out in their backyard is no different then the risk of someone passing by your house or kids playing on street near your house on the other side.  I would assume that the distance between you and them is way more than 6' unless you are standing right by your window and even then it is low risk, so as long as you are not socializing with them it is very low risk.   Yes, you can complain to them or to the landlord or to authorities, but think for yourself if you really want to kill any chance at a good relationship with new neighbors.  If you complain and they find out (and they likely will) you will become "that troublesome neighbor" who complained about them and the next time you have a request, or need a favor, or just want them to change something small to make your life easier they would likely say no to spite you because you complained.  We have a good relationship with our neighbors (even though we are not friends) partially by letting things go and making it work even when we did not like their loud music at night, their parties, or violation of spare the air days and now we have someone to get our mail on vacation, keep an eye on the house when we are gone, and our kids know the two next door neighbors they can go to if they are home alone and there is an emergency.  Yes, you can complain, but as those are your new neighbors, just think whether complaining about this is worth a very bad relationship with your next door neighbors and them closing the door in your face if you need something from them in the future. 

    Hi there, I feel your pain. Our neighbors in back also had a party last weekend - same story - unbelievable! I don't think there's much one can do but close the windows and take a deep breath. I know it's hard to see folks congregate, especially with kids - it happens here a lot - I wonder if they have friends, relatives who are nurses, elderly. It's tough. Mostly I'm just writing to sympathize. People behave badly all the time, all you can do is control what you can, and you are doing the right thing by taking care of your family and helping to keep the world safer.

    I'd call the cops; it's illegal. Call during the illegal activity, not after.