Fear of Miscarriage
Archived Q&A and Reviews
Pregnant; terrible fear of miscarriage
April 2008
I am currently 6 weeks pregnant and have this terrible and relentless fear of miscarriage. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks 5 years ago and I guess the fear still lingers. I have a very healthy 2 year old son and I remember this anxiety when I was pregnant with him. I'm trying to be very careful, no caffeine or medications of any kind, that sort of thing. Anyone else feel this way when pregnant? What, if anything, alleived your anxiety about having a miscarrige? I'm just hoping to find some encouragement here, thanks so much Hoping to be mom of 2
Have faith in yourself and connect with the child inside - it seems to help dispel the worry somehow. The other little thing that I noticed after 2 successful pregnancies and a number of miscarriages was that I did not shave my underarms during the early pregnancy. It seemed to phermonally help me carry a pregnancy to term. Has worked for many of the women I have suggested it to after they also suffered miscarriages. Good luck
I can really relate to your post. I was crazy with worry during both my pregnancies. I had two pregnancy losses before my first child was born and another in between my two children.
In my second pregnancy my husband bought an old used doppler machine from a website the specialized in used medical supplies. It looked like it was from the 80's. It worked much better as my pregnancy progressed and the heartbeat was stronger. I used it all the time and I would feel so relieved to hear the heartbeat and know the baby was OK. I passed it on to a few friends who had similar pregnancy concerns.
It was probably the best 200 dollars we ever spent! I still worry but about different stuff
I had a miscarriage/ectopic preganancy at 6 weeks and was scared and saddened when the pregnancy ended. However, all the time, we were watching our HCG levels and knew they were low so I had a hint that things may be in jeopardy. When I got pregnant again, I could barely function I was so anxious. Thankfully, I was so tired, I slept most of the time! Two things helped. First, on the physical level, getting several early ultrasounds (not standard but conducted by my OB because of my concerns) and seeing that everything was progressing normally. Second, and this was most helpful, one day I just decided that the level of anxiety I was experiencing was not workable for me or the baby. I realized that if something DID happen to this pregnancy, I didn't want my only link to this being to be anxiety and fear. And, assuming that the pregnancy would work out, I also didn't want to start off this crucial period with anxiey, either. This really helped me snap out it. Good luck! Mom of Newborn
I comnpletely understand the fear that you will miscarry again. I tried for nine months to get pregnant, finally did and then miscarried shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I had also had a tubal pregnancy a few years previous. I got pregnant again the month after I miscarried and was almost paralized with the fear I'd miscarry again. My Doctor was great about having me come in every few weeks for an ultrasound. At about 10 weeks I didn't feel pregnant anymore and I freaked out. I called my Doctor and he had me come in for an Ultrasound and we found out everything was ok.
Shortly after that I decided to rent a fetal heart beat monitor! It's a doppler like they use in the OBs office. I rented one online at www.babybeat.com. The only thing is that you won't be able to hear it with the doppler for a few more weeks because it is still to early and to faint. I knew I would stay paranoid during my entire pregnancy though so I rented one until I could really fill that baby move all the time! It brought such a peace of mind to me during the rest of my pregnancy though. They are also really affordable.
Good luck - I know how difficult it is to get over the fear of miscarriage!
I was pregnant, via IVF, with twins. They both implanted, everything was great. Until they didn't find any heartbeats. Before that, I had been pregnant three times. Those miscarried also. So when I got pregnant with my (now) son a few months after the twin pregnancy, and the others, I was nervous, crazy nervous, just like you.
I don't know what to tell you. There's no relieving the fear and you'll probably have it throughout much of your pregnancy. You're doing everything you can do. It's all biological. It's not in your control. I'm sure everything will be fine this time around, but you can't drive yourself crazy with it. Whatever happens is best for both you and the baby. I think you said it was the 6 week mark. That is a terribly hard week. Because at 7 weeks they can find a heartbeat. So I know exactly what you are feeling this week. I've been there .
I wish you the best, and wish I could give you a big hug. It's hard. It's really hard. Just know that you're not alone. And just know that it's all biological. --A friend you haven't met yet
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and I really hope everything works out for you. I would suggest that you make your first prenatal appointment sooner rather than later - at 6 weeks, you could probably go in within the next week or two. My OB told me that once they verify that your baby has a heartbeat, the odds that you'll miscarry drop significantly - as much as 80%. It would probably be a big load off your mind to see your baby thriving and talk about your concerns with an OB and get some reassurance. Good luck! Kristine
I had that same fear. I don't know how helpful this is, but: try not to think about it. Don't focus on the fear, every time the thought occurs to you, imagine your baby safe in your womb surrounded by white light, and then try to move on to another thought. I know it sounds a little loopy, but it helps. Replace negative thought with a positive thought. AND drink lots of water, that is supposed to help prevent miscarriage. Make yourself imagine the fetus healthy.
I had two miscarriages before my first son was born, and I also remember the panics I would feel during pregnancy. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I feel for you. I don't have much beyond sympathy to offer you, but one thing that helped me was a doctor who told me that first trimester miscarriages are not vulnerable to anything environmental or external, anything that you can do or not do-- that is, if you're going to miscarry during the first trimester, it would be due to genetic abnormalities, not anything (diet, lack of rest, strenuous exercise, etc) that's under your control at all. So then I could relax about my own actions-- he also commented that if a fetus miscarries because of genetic abnormalities, it usually means that would not have been able to live outside the womb, which oddly helped too. That doesn't help with fears during the second trimester (there she said car accidents, etc., could cause a miscarriage) but during the second trimester I could feel the baby moving and that made it somewhat easier for me. Good luck. Been there too
I've had 3, and in my opinion the way to not fear is just to make peace with the fact that miscarriage is a common, normal event, and though it may be sad it is not in your power to stop it. It isn't possible to ''be careful'' enough to prevent one, so there is no use worrying ahead of time. berkeley one
I had several miscarriages, and I want you to know that your fears and feelings are understandable, but don't let them get the better of you. Try thinking of it this way: if this baby makes it, then he/she must be a strong one! Avoid whatever you think you need to avoid to keep the baby safe, not necessarily because you need to but because you do not want to beat yourself up if you end up w/ another miscarriage. Honestly, the other m/c probably had nothing to do with you and everything to do with circumstance, but you would FEEL awful if you had a miscarriage and thought, I shouldn't have done this or that thing. Been there myself: intellectually I know that the miscarriages weren't my fault, but the mother hormones kick in quickly. I'm not saying this is the best thing to do, but I also managed to not focus on the pregnancy, to the point that I would be surprised, at 6 mos, 7 mos, when friends would remind me that I was pregnant. So when my delightful, spunky, opinionated, strong little baby was born, a few days ahead of schedule, fighting like mad and screaming revenge when the nurses cleaned her off, I was overwhelmingly surprised and delighted. (I ''knew'' I was pregnant, but told myself that I shouldn't expect to have a baby till she came out--this wasn't as depressing as it sounds, but it did mean that I didn't do the whole nesting thing, for fear of disappointment). Remember that miscarriages are MUCH more common than anybody tells you about. Most people don't tell anyone. Best wishes to you...
Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I had my second child at 43 after two miscarriages. While the miscarriages were extremely sad for us we knew that we wanted to keep trying, so we did. What I learned along the way in getting fertility suuport was that if you are doing insemination do two proceedures during your fertile time. My husbands sperm count was lower, so we did the spin, and my progesterine was not substantially low but it was low. I asked for, and recieved, a progesterin insert once we were pregnant following the 2 miscarriages. I was told by one Dr. that there was no real proof that it works, but I feel like it did. I think it is important. (Have you had your hormones checked?) Oh, and I also did accupuncture to get my cycle on track after each miscarriage with Dr. Oh in Lake Merrit area. I personally think our culture makes too big a deal about having a child in your forties. Anon
Scared to try again
Oct 2006
Recently I had a miscarriage due to a uterine infection. I am wondering if there are other women out there who have had the same thing happen. This past week I felt very sick, temperature, body aches, sore legs, chills, etc. I thought I had the flu. A day later my water broke at 16 weeks. I ended up losing my little son. The doctors think I may have had a uterine infection or some other infection. I was in the hospital for a week on heavy antibiotics since the infection was so bad. I am stuck thinking I did something or maybe I am just not healthy enough for this to have happened in the first place.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It's one of the most terrible things that can happen. Please give your self time to grieve this one loss before you start worrying about future pregnancies. It will help you go forward if you give yourself time right now. Talk to your doctor about your experience, and maybe even about your feelings of loss and fear. He or she will probably be able to refer you to groups that offer support. And try to trust your doctor's thoughts about future pregnancies.
I had three miscarriages, though I don't think any of them were caused by an infection. In my experience, you will always have some fears, but they don't have to dominate your feelings. Miscarriage is a surprisingly common experience, though that does not make it any easier to experience. However, take a look around you at all the people here. Nature has her ways, and most babies are born healthy. I wish you peace, and wish you the best in your future pregnancies anon
You poor dear. My heart truly goes out to you. Please consider contacting Dr. Attila Toth in New York City. I know it's far, but trust me, its worth it. I have been seeing him in the past year for recurrent miscarriage. He is 'out of the box' in terms of treatment, but he is truly the best doctor you could ever want to have for this type of issue. He specializes in exactly what is happening to you and can possibly help you. He has a yahoo group as well, lots of information there. Good luck to you. http://fertilitysolution.com/ A Toth patient
Miscarriage - fear of another
Feb 2004
I am newly pregnant and very excited. However, I have suffered two miscarriages prior to this pregnancy and am having anxiety about this one ''sticking.'' (I have successfully taken a pregnancy to term before so I know I can!) How have others dealt with these first trimester fears? Signed, Can't Help Worrying
My condolences over your miscarriages. I had exactly the same situation as you. After my first child was born, I had two miscarriages (one at 6 weeks, one at 12 weeks) before my second child was born. If possible, you should get a blood test for a thyroid problem that can cause miscarriages (I don't know much about it because I didn't have it, but my doctor checked me for it when I had a fertility work up after my miscarriages.) Also, you should ask your doctor about progesterone suppositories. I've read that the science is inconclusive about whether those help, but I used them anyway because it gave me a little feeling of control over the situation. The hardest thing to do is to accept that it really is out of your control and all you can do is hope that this! one works out. I was on pins and needles for the first 13 or 14 weeks, but everything went ok and now I have a beautiful 4 month old baby. Just remember that the odds are with you. Chances are that you will have a successful pregnancy. Good luck. anon
I had two miscarriages before having my two healthy children. In both of the those pregnancies getting through the first trimesters was psychologically very difficult. I can completely empathize with your situation! I basically tried to not think of myself as pregnant (despite the nausea and exhaustion) until I got through the first trimester and heard the heart beat. I didn't think about the due date, didn't think about baby names, didn't think about the nursery, didn't tell many people, etc. I tried to ''save'' my excitement about the pregnancies until I knew they'd likely go to term. ! At the same time, I realized that most established pregnancies do go to term, even for women who have miscarried before. So I guess I was quite guarded, but also tried to be optimistic as well. anon
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am also pregnant after experiencing two miscarriages. One thing you can do is ask your doctor for weekly HCG and progesterone tests to monitor your levels. My doctor has me on natural progesterone suppositories to support this pregnancy. Another thing you can do is slow down. These first 12 weeks feels like an eternity. Indulge your mind in new recipes that feed you and the baby with all the foods you know you should be eating and new habits that relax you and the baby (walking, napping, soothing baths under 104 degrees F). Journal if you are so inclined and rejoice in each new day. Good luck! ! MG
Well, I worried all through my pregnancy with my son, who is now a toddler. I had had a miscarriage at 11 1/2 weeks, and carried that fear inside of me, basically through all three trimesters. I wish I hadn't, and he is a beautiful, healthy child. You have had a child, too, and as you mentioned, you know you can do it! Although I am sort of an ''all natural'' type, I was so worried in that first trimester, that I felt I needed an early ultrasound just to see that little heart beating. It was very affirming to see that little snowman with the blinking point of light, as silly as that may sound. Although it doesn't rule out later complications, it showed me that there was indeed life, and I felt uplifted. Also, any time you feel fear, touch base with your child, as a living, breathing reminder of the mir! acle that came through you! And take a lot of deep breaths. You can do it! allison
Getting past the fear isn't easy. Knowing that YOU CAN DO IT can be comforting in itself. Having a supportive OBGYN is crucial. Normally the first visit is at 7 weeks. My OB said that I could come as soon as the pregnancy test was positive. He offered to do an ultrasound at that visit to confirm gestational age, I said yes. We went back in 3 weeks and did another - still pregnant and could see the baby's heart beating. I just took a deep breath and kept telling myself that this time it was going to be ok. Focusing on the date when I'd be more or less ''safe'' (say 13 weeks) helped too - that way each day/week was a success, a milestone met. My next focus was 20 weeks. (Although, I admit that I didn't want to talk about names until after 20 weeks.) I encourage you to do anything (& everything) you think would help ease your mind (for me it was early ultrasounds). Your baby needs the least stress and the most positive feelings you can offer. One book I read said that they couldn't understand why women take off more time near the end of their pregnancy rather than the start of it, because the in the beginning is when women need to take the best care of themselves. 34 weeks and counting!
Dear Can't Stop Worrying, There is hope and it sounds as if you have previously carried to term. That's good news. I have had five miscarriages and am the mother of three. So there is hope and also worry, you can't get away from it. This last pregnancy was a doozie but I had a healthy baby at age 44. Prior to that I had two second trimester miscarriages. With this last oneI just knew that either getting too excited about it or worrying wouldn't change the outcome. I kept busy which was easy to do with my two kids. I don't know what advice to give other than to hang in there. Recognize that you may not have control over it but the odds are in your favor. I wish you well. ssc