Financial Considerations with Divorce
Parent Q&A
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I'm considering getting a divorce but don't know where to start and am worried about the financial impact. Here is my situation. My husband is unemployed, chronically unemployed (13 years). At this point I lost any hope that he will get a job or has the desire/motivation to get a job. He had a job (as well as good education and skills) and left it to take a break but the break became permanent. At the beginning I supported him taking a break from work but after some time I started bringing it up, asking him to return to the workforce. Eventually his savings ran out and we started relying on my income only which is very modest for Bay Area standards. He never openly shared with friends and family that he is unemployed and frankly we don't have many friends and see our families only once a year so it's easy to keep this facade. I believe that he is ashamed of his situation but every time I asked him to reach out for help (counseling) he dismissed it. We have an amazing 10 year old kid and my husband is a good father. We haven't had any sexual or romantic relationship for years and I lost any romantic interest for him -- I feel bitter, disappointed and trapped. I don't think he ever really loved me. If he loved me he would had found the courage to restart professionally (even on a part time basis) and help our financial situation and our marriage. We had ugly arguments in the past about this but after a certain point I gave up. I look at the future and all I see is myself carrying the financial weight of our family and leading a loveless life. I am staying for my kid because I don't want them to lose the stability and security they get from all of us living together as a family. Given that we rely on my income only and have just enough to pay the mortgage and all other expenses, I don't see how it's financially possible to separate and find a place of my own. From the little I read about the divorce process, I understand that it's expensive, takes time and will be emotionally hard for all of us. I am not sure what to do. I read that it's possible that I might have to pay alimony which I find utterly unfair because he is healthy, has skills and should be able to obtain employment. I don't even know how he will react if I tell him I want a divorce. Part of me thinks I have to stay in this for the sake of my kid, another part of me is longing for truth and love. Any advice would help.
Nov 4, 2021 -
My partner and I (domestic partner) have been having trouble in our marriage since the beginning. We have been off and on together for over 8 years. Lots of history and a rocky start. We got married a little over 3 years ago and have a 2 year old together. She also has 3 teens from a previous same sex marriage who live with us half time. We are considering splitting. Unfortunately, I have only been working part time and there’s no way for me to afford rent in the Bay Area. She wants 50/50 even though she works full time. I don’t know what to do or where to go. I kind of want to nest in this house but it still means finding a place to live. And I don’t think she will agree to it. She can afford all this. I can’t. I’m worried. I also really don’t want to be away from my young toddler (whom I birthed) and we have a secure bond that is very important that I keep in tact. We are planning to see a mediator because we cannot talk about hard things without arguing. Too much anger and resentment. I am worried I’ll lose what I’ve worked so hard on with my daughter by losing out on half of her life. But we are not happy together. I also don’t want to get screwed financially. Anyone know a great mediator or lawyer or counselor for this situation? Thank you.
Nov 5, 2020
Archived Q&A and Reviews
Considering divorce but worried about finances
Nov 2008
I am considering getting a divorce after only 2 years. My issue is that I haven't worked for 3 years because I have been in grad school full time and have 1 more year to go. Basically, if I went through with the divorce, I'd have the kid (who's mine from a previous relationship), no job, no car, and no housing. Is it okay to ask for some sort of alimony since I haven't got any real financial income other than financial aid? What's an appropriate amount? If I were to try and rent a place, do landlords deem income such as fin. aid as acceptable income? I am in the process of looking for a job, but I just changed careers so I haven't got much background. Anyone know of lawyers who offer free divorce advice? anon
You should consult with a lawyer, but I imagine that it is not unlikely that you could receive some alimony. You have only been married a very short time, so even if you were to receive alimony you would likely only get it for a short time, but you may need some help to get on your feet. Your ex will not be paying child support unless he adopted your child, I believe. But definitely -- a lawyer. divorced mom
Divorce: timing & taxes
October 2006
My husband and I are divorcing, but waiting several months because we don't have the money to live separately quite yet. We are wondering, however, what kind of difference (if any) marital status will make in our income taxes--should be trying to file before the end of the year for tax purposes or should we wait until 2007? Does it make any real difference? (We are already short on money, and don't want to put ourselves at even more of a disadvantage by planning this wrong.) Anonymous
The date you file your Petition for Dissolution is irrelevant for tax purposes. Beginning in the tax year in which you get a Final Judgment of Dissolution you can no longer file joint returns. It takes a minimum of 6 months to get a Final Judgment. So even if you file now, you can still file jointly for 2006. If you get the Final J in 2007, you must file single for 2007 Hope this helps
If your incomes are about the same, you will pay less tax filing as single. In order to be able to file as single, the divorce must be final as of 12/31 of the year.
If you are not divorced as of 12/31 of the year, your only choices are to file ''married filing jointly'' or ''married filing separately''. Filing separately usually results in higher tax liability.
If you have dependent children, it is possible for one of you to be a ''head of household'' (saving you some tax), and the other one ''married filing separately'', but only if you did not live together at any time during the last 6 months of the year, which is not your case.
Given that you still live together up through October, I don't think it is likely that your divorce will get finalized by 12/31 (check me on this one). If you can't get divorced by 12/31 and trust each other financially, then filing a joint return will generally result in a lowest tax liability (assuming about the same income level for both of you) Maria