Elderly Parents Moving to the Bay Area
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Advice re elderly, newly immigrated grandparent? Health care, etc– May 19, 2021(3 replies)
Hello! We've recently moved my father-in-law to the US from Asia, as he is showing signs of Alzheimers and needs care. If there is anyone who has any advice regarding how we might secure health insurance for him and/or a recommendation for an immigration attorney, as well as any general advice about having a grand/parent with dementia living with you, that would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance!May 19, 2021
Bay Area timeshare for East Coast parents?– Sep 22, 2017(4 replies)
My parents would love to spend roughly half the year, give or take, in the Bay Area and the other half on the east coast with the rest of their grandchildren. On the other coast, housing is far less expensive, and there are time share type options for them to explore. I am wondering whether there are similar arrangements here. They could buy a place and sublet it for the time that they are absent from the area, but this seems like an utter headache. Looking for resourceful folk on this list that might offer leads for further research. Thanks!Sep 22, 2017
Parents in their mid-70s relocating to Bay Area– Mar 12, 2017(7 replies)
My parents live in New England, where they have lived in the same community for 50 years, and in the same house for over 30. They have a small group of friends and are active in the Jewish community there. They are currently 70 and 75 (mom/dad). My dad is still working, but plans to retire within the next 1-3 years, at which point they plan to move out here, at least 6-9 months a year, to be closer to me and our two young daughters. My brother and his three children live in New York, so they do not want, ideally, to make a full move out here, at least for the moment. They are active, contented, lovely, healthy people, and I have sorely missed being near them since moving out here long ago. In short, I am thrilled that they will be moving here, and that they will be a huge part of my children's lives. They have always visited frequently (multiple times a year) and love this area, but it is not their home.
I am looking to hear stories from others who have had parents in a similar position move out at such an advanced age. What have you done to help ease the transition? How has it gone? What would you do differently looking back? I am beginning to worry about potential social dislocation for them, once they move away from all of their friends, known community and environment, and way of life. Will it be too hard for them to adapt and resettle in their mid-70s? I know that it depends on individual inclination, but I also fear that there is a definitive age factor at play that potentially overrides personality/temperament. Over the years of reading this newsletter, I have read many stories of parents/grandparents moving out here, and I am wondering how the process has unfolded. My mom would love to take a weaving class at the Richmond Art Center. My dad loves cooking and wine. But, they are getting up there in age. I am concerned about them being/feeling uprooted, and, too how that will play out when one of them dies first, leaving the other behind, outside of their known community and network of support.
Thanks.Mar 12, 2017
Archived Q&A and Reviews
Moving elderly parent from East Coast to Bay Area
My 87-year-old father has been living near Atlanta, Georgia, for thirty years. Currently, he resides in an assisted living facility at care level ''assisted living plus plus.'' His health is frail, but stable. Recently, he talks more and more about wanting to finish his life in California, where I live and where he spent some of the best years of life. All four of his children now have agreed to accede to his wish to move, and I have made preliminary arrangements toward transfering him to an associated assisted living facility near where I live. So far, so good.
The actual nuts and bolts of moving someone of his age and health so far seem daunting to me, and I will be the one responsible. I am guessing that fellow BPN members have carried out such a move with one or both of their parents, and might have some experience and advice to share. If people can share particular pitfalls I might not otherwise consider, lessons learned, or things that they ''wish they'd known beforehand,'' I'll appreciate the input. Trying to Plan Ahead
My husband and I recently attended a great presentation at the N. Berkeley Senior Center by Donna Robbins about moving elderly parents-- she is a geriatric care manager and one of the services she provides is orchestrating just the sort of move you are describing. She has written a book called ''Moving Mom and Dad'' which you can order from her website (www.ultimatemoves.net)and she also provides consultations. Good luck!