Activities for Older Family Members
Parent Q&A
Archived Q&A and Reviews
- Father-in-law needs a social life!
- Health Club Recommendation for Senior Parents
- Helping my father make new connections
Father-in-law needs a social life!
Aug 2013
My MIL passed away in early July, and we are trying to help my FIL figure out what the next chapter in his life looks like. He's 76, but besides hearing (too stubborn to use a hearing aid), he's still very with it, and very capable. He's very stoic w a wry sense of humor, but not super social. Sadly most of his friends have passed away and because he's not a small talk kind of guy, he has only one close friend left. He's very aware of the fact that he needs some kind of activity, social life but is unsure what to do about it. I think his ideal thing would be some kind of activity where he does stuff with people and makes friends that way, instead of meeting via some get together. His current hobbies are shooting guns, working out at the gym, hiking, and collecting gold (I know, but hey, it keeps him happy). Anyone have advice on either senior communities or senior activities around the bay? keeping my fil busy
Where does your FIL live? Is he on his own? It might be good to investigate some of the nice senior apartment complexes like Rossmoor where there are a lot of activities and people of the same age living in proximity, so he's more likely to have socializing going on around him. If he likes hiking, he'd probably meet people at Sierra Club hikes or other places like REI that organize hikes. Volunteering is a good way to meet people too. Hope that helps. local mom
There are many hiking clubs that cater to older people. Some examples:
- Contra Costa Hills Club (in Berkeley and west of the tunnel, the name is historic)
- Sierra Club Thursday hikes
- Many East Bay Regional Parks weekday and weekend hikes; check their tabloid ''Regional In Nature'' or look online at www.ebparks.org
One of these is the ''Over the Hills Gang'' with ranger Dave Zuckermann from Tilden Nature Center. They are currently on hiatus, but a great group.
Amelia
Hi. You may consider one of these options
1. OLLI - UC Berekeley's Life Long Learning Program. They offer classes, lecture series, etc. Great way to stay connected and have fun learning new things. olli.berkeley.edu
2. Does he live in the Berk area? Another good program is Ashby Village. It is a membership based program that encourages people to stay in their home by providing access to a network of support providers and creating a community through events, activities and programs. www.ashbyvillage.org
3. Seniors helping seniors is a program that matches able older adults with less able people to help with social activities and companionship. It is a paid position AND you are engaged.
4. Last, consider a retirement community that has a robust enrichment (activities) program. Bayside Park in Emeryville has over 100 programs a month -- something for everyone. Sometimes having a little more structure can be a good thing. patty
City of Albany, City of El Cerrito and City of Berkeley all have very active senior centers with a wide range of activities, including hiking clubs. Bird watching, tai chi, country line dancing, cooking, billiards, organized outings and overnight trips to name a few. I don't know where you live but I'm sure there is a senior center nearby that would offer something of interest for your FIL. Also the East Bay Regional Parks has a hiking club for 55+ called the Over the Hill Gang. A fun group of active seniors who explore different regional parks together. This is a great place to be an active older adult!(although I'm not one yet) TC
Health Club Recommendation for Senior Parents
Feb 2013
Hello BPNers - my 69 and 71 year old parents moved to the Bay Area several months ago. They live in Old Oakland right near City Center, and are looking for recommendations for health clubs that would be good for seniors. They're not averse to a short drive or long walk, so the Oakland Y is certainly of interest, though the convenient location of Club One is enticing as well. I suspect they'll get the hard sell at Club One - probably a slightly softer sell at the Y - but I thought it was worth asking you all for recommendations. Where do your elderly parents work out? Or where do you work out, if you are in your 60s and 70s? We've discussed aqua aerobics, which they've never done, as well as some gentle yoga, which might be nice. Stairmasters and other machines are of interest as well. They'll likely want to do whatever they do together - my mother has mid-stage Alzheimers and isn't very comfortable without my Dad around. I'm sure they would also benefit from making some new connections. They may also just try to get into a regular ''walk around the lake and do some of the stairs at the Cleveland Cascade'' though then I think they'd miss some of the social aspects that could come from a club. Thoughts and recommendations are welcome. Thanks!
I highly recommend Club ONe for everyone. The Oakland Y is supposedly good too, but a more urban environment and perhaps less ''protected''. The Club One staff is fabulous and deals with people of all ages. Club One member
I recommend the YMCA over Club One. Better price, better sense of community -esp. for seniors. YMCA Fan
Helping my father make new connections
Oct 2007
My 67 year old father recently confided that he deeply regrets not having made more of an effort in his life to establish deep friendships. He and my mother's social life revolved around connections my mother made. But mom passed away some time ago, and dad remarried someone rather reserved and not very socialable herself, and a year ago they moved out of the Bay Area (where my father lived his entire life) to a brand new community in Folsom (it consists mostly of younger families, not retirees), and they're really starting to feel isolated.
I'd like to encourage him to make new connections, but although he's outwardly gregarious, I know deep down he feels a bit shy and awkward reaching out. Where can an agnostic, libretarian senior with no hobbies (not one for working on ''fiddly things'') or strong sports interest (not a golfer or a swimmer) go in the Sacramento area? (He is interested in politics, history and traveling). Thanks! Concerned Daughter
I suggest you get your parents into an adult day center. In the beginning, they might resist this move, but after time they may like being with other seniors. Depending on the services available, they may have nursing staff, social workers and usually an activities director. Most likely they will get fed a couple of meals, before going home. Adult day centers are wonderful places for seniors as they prevent social isolation, promotes cognitive stimulation; health and behavior is monitored and more importantly seniors continue to live independently in their own home. Good luck! Geriatric social worker
Tell your father about Elderhostel. They have trips relating to history and many other topics that may be of interest. Many of my parents friends have been on the trips and loved it. Elderhostel.com anon
Since your dad likes to travel, maybe he would enjoy Elder Hostel...it is hosteling for those 55+ in age. It may not connect him to those directly in his community, but just a thought. Maybe also getting involved in political groups in his part of Sacramento is another thought. These groups are often made up of folks of various ages, so are good intergenerational activities. Good Luck....Paula Paula
You might take a look at Ashby Village. The "Villages" are non-profits with the mission to keep seniors in their homes and engaged in their communities for as long as possible, and the Ashby Village is one of the most successful in the country. She would join as a member--most have social memberships (cheaper, with access to events) or full memberships (in which volunteers can help her with stuff around the home, give her rides, etc). It's a wonderful organization--I've worked with several of them around the Bay Area. URL is strange but below (or Google "Ashby Village," since I wouldn't click on that link from a stranger either).
http://av.clubexpress.com/content.aspx?page_id=22&club_id=748044&module…
She might enjoy tutoring English with international students or visiting professors through the the YWCA on Bancroft. I worked with a professor from Barcelona recently. As long as she's close to the campus, they could meet in a nearby coffee shop or other location.
Have her go to the Website MahJongg for everyone.A lovely woman teachers MahJongg in Berkeley and has monthly brunches for people who know how to play.It is fun and helps keep our minds sharp.
She should look into UC Berkeley's Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. OLLI Berkeley offers about 90 classes per year in downtown Berkeley -- many of them taught by retired Cal faculty -- and there are a lot of social activities as well. https://olli.berkeley.edu The lunchtime lecture series starts next week; it's a good way to get a taste of the program without committing to a class. https://olli.berkeley.edu/programs/events/speaker (Full disclosure: I work there.)
The Albany YMCA has wonderful exercise classes for seniors. Pull up a chair and healthy heart. the instructors are wonderful. The groups tend to become friends. I think the number 18 bus would get her there. A membership in the YMCA would be good for Albany and Berkeley YMCA which have joined forces recently. There are good classes via Albany Recreation center. She could tutor in Berkeley schools - a good program is Writer coaching.
When my elderly mom moved to the area several years ago, I learned about the organization Reading Partners for similar reasons. It didn't end up being a good fit for my mom (mainly because she was just too intimidated by the whole move I think), but maybe it would be for your stepmom. We went to visit a site and I was very impressed with their whole program. Check out their website here:
https://readingpartners.org/location/sf-bay-area/schools/
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A friend of mine volunteers as a reading tutor with Reading Partners, and they placed her at Sankofa in Oakland (so an easy bus ride from central Berkeley/MLK). She loves it and has developed a close friendship with the child she tutors.
These are all just wonderful and thoughtful suggestions, and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to answer. I will definitely look into each of them. Thank you so much!
Daytime classes at the Berkeley YMCA have many seniors and the level of many of them would be appropriate for someone with physical limitations. Some of the women who use Grace's Pool are retired engineers and academics. She would also see people at a range of ages which might be more of what she wants than the senior-center population.