Possible to save long term marriage?

We are in search of a strategic therapist who can help us find a way forward in a faltering 30-year marriage. We have had lots of counseling in the past, and understand issues of past history. What we need is someone who can see us where we are and give us tools for a new way of being together. Or help us see that we should end our marriage. A therapist with expertise in narcissistic personalities would be a huge plus. Perhaps someone Gottman trained? And I think it will be important to do this in person, not on Zoom. We're located in the East Bay but we're willing to go through the tunnel. Thank you.

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Hi, I recommend checking out the East Bay region of the Northern California Community For Emotionally Focused Therapy (NCCEFT) member directory https://www.ncceft.com/looking-for-an-eft-therapist

We absolutely love our couples therapist Kasey Varga. We've referred many a couple to her, and they've all really enjoyed working with her also. 

We saw Karen Godfredsen and found her transformative for our 25 year marriage with known issues. She has also been transformative for at least 2 of my friends in long marriages with significant issues. it took a while to get an appointment with her but it was worth it. 

I researched this same question and came away with 3 names, all of which seem to be in Berkeley and have expertise in this area: Cindy Blackett, Terrence Higgins and Yvonne Mansell. 

Highly, highly recommend Sheila Addison. She is Gotman trained and I can’t say enough good things about her. She doesn’t exactly fit your criteria because she has now moved and is zoom only but used to be in Oakland. At the very least I hope you can do an intro chat with her and see if she fits your bill. She helped us tremendously. 
 

Wishing you and your partner well!

Just wanted to write and encourage you not to give up.  I know to even write this post, your marriage must be in a very dark place.  But the good of  a harmonious marriage is worth the bad of counseling and difficult conversations and the pain and grief of trying.  Cheering you on!