Full mental & behavioral assessment for an adult (40s)?

I'm looking for help finding someone to do a thorough assessment for my almost ex-husband — and yes, he has agreed to do the assessment. But I don’t know where to start! 

The most likely issues are either a personality disorder or high functioning ASD (based on what my mental health care providers have said about my description of his actions and behavior) but ideally we'd find someone who could really check everything. 

If there is anyone you think is very skilled, especially with an adult who struggles with honesty (to the degree of believing his own lies and not realizing it) and manipulation (very good at using his tone and choice of words to shift the subject or make you think something you don’t), I’m all ears. I’m pretty sure he could pass a lie detector test while lying — that’s how serious this is. Open to anyone in the Bay Area, East Bay a plus but not a necessity. Thanks in advance :)

Parent Replies

Parents, want to reply to this question? Sign in to post.

I was in a very similar situation several years ago with my now-ex-husband. Our child’s psychiatrist, who worked extensively with our family, told me he likely had NPD and recommended an assessment by her highly-regarded male colleague, M. D. Girish Subramanyan. My ex trusted working with a male and the dr did an excellent job assessing. It wasn’t NPD, but had many cross over symptoms with BPD. Unfortunately, my ex-husband was unable to accept the diagnosis and treatment plan, which led to our divorce. 
In any case, I highly recommend Dr. Subramanyan. He will ask for your experiences and perspective as part of the assessment. Contact info: dr.subramanyan [at] sfpsychiatrists.com  (415) 928-1234