Looking for Parent-Friendly Preschools in the East Bay
Hi everyone,
I’m hoping to get some perspective and maybe some referrals from other parents who have navigated similar challenges with preschools and daycares in the East Bay.
We’ve been feeling increasingly discouraged by how rigid so many programs are about parent participation—not just volunteering in the classroom, but even being able to simply observe, help settle your child, or share parts of their day. It often feels like there are these invisible walls where you can’t come in to see your child play, help them put toys away, or be present in a normal, supportive way.
We thought Montessori would be a great fit, but after our experience at a Montessori preschool, I’m questioning whether that approach—or at least that particular school—is actually right for our family. Our child was already very independent and high-agency before starting there, but ironically, we haven’t seen significant leaps in independence. If anything, there seems to be more hesitation and neediness now. It sometimes feels like the emphasis on independence crosses into a kind of minimal support that leaves kids to figure things out alone.
I’d really love to hear:
- Have any of you found preschools or daycares in the East Bay that are less rigid about parent participation? I’m not looking to be in the classroom every day, but I want to be able to see my child in their environment and be a partner in their experience, not just a drop-off/pick-up chauffeur.
- How have your kids responded to environments where parents are kept at arm’s length? Did you see more independence, or did it make things more awkward and stressful for them?
- Any recommendations for programs that are more community-oriented, welcoming, and transparent? I’ve looked into community schools, but many don’t feel aligned with our values.
Honestly, I’m excited about the idea of a co-work/daycare model where parents can have lunch with their kids, help them lay down for naps, and be part of their day in a natural, low-pressure way. It just feels healthier and less transactional. Does anyone know of a program like this in East Bay?
Would love any leads, stories, or encouragement if you’ve been down this road. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.
Parent Replies
I think berkeley ccc and happy days are like that based on past tours
You want a parent co-op. There are a lot of them. BPN has a list here: Co-op Preschools
You didn't say how old your child is, but co-ops are typically for 3 and 4 year olds. If your child is younger than that, you might be happier with a home daycare rather than a larger childcare center. Home daycares are more able to offer flexibility for parent needs because they have a max of only 14 children or a max of 8 if they are small. In contrast a childcare center is going to be managing a lot more little personalities and it would be difficult for them to also manage a lot of parents who want to be on site a significant amount of time.
My kids all went to co-op preschools and one of the most valuable takeaways for me was not so much being able to be around my child, but being able to see what other preschool children are like, and how they interact with each other. It really made me a better parent.
We found Berkeley Little School on Hopkins to be very welcoming of parent visits in general — I don’t know if they would match your hopes for daily participation but they’ve got a really great balance of independence and support for kids; both of mine thrived!
We have absolutely loved our experience at CCC in North Berkeley. It's a parent co-op so parents are very involved and no one bats an eye if you decide to just hang around for part of the day or drop in to check on your child. The teachers are incredibly warm and kind and the parent community is really wonderful.
Hi Mira! Have you considered a co-op preschool? I have loved my first year at Dandelion Co-op (https://www.dandelionnurseryschool.org/). It's been so wonderful to be participating in the classroom 2-3 times per month. I've made such great connections and friendships with the teachers, kids, and other parents. It's so fun to drop off and pick up, because I'm able to linger, say hi to friends, say hi to the animals, and talk about how we are all doing. I've felt so lucky to have joined this special community.
Dandelion still has space available for next fall, if you're interested! I highly recommend signing up for a tour (https://www.dandelionnurseryschool.org/tour-sign-up/) to see if it would be a good fit for you and your family.
Hi, my son went to a parent co-op preschool in the east bay. Parents worked one day a week at the school, about 5-6 parents and the teacher each day. Lots of parent participation encouraged and community encouraged with outside of school events. We made parent friends through this program as well, there are parent coops sprinkled throughout the bay.
My son loved the program. He built relationships with friends and their parents. The family involvement was great for our family and a great way to begin our sons education/school history.
It sounds like a parent co-op preschool might be a great fit for you. There are a number in the area, depending on where you're located and how many hours of care you need. Many of them have been in operation for decades and offer wonderful programs if a co-op model works for your family. I think you will find it challenging to find more traditional preschools that welcome parents for some of the activities you list (naps, mealtimes, etc.) because it can be quite disruptive for both your child and for other children whose parents aren't available to stop by. Many schools will happily welcome you to come in and volunteer for classroom activities or presentations, though. Our kids attended a preschool where parents were occasional but not regular visitors and had wonderful experiences. One had a rough time transitioning to preschool and the other sailed right through, which was in keeping with their respective personalities and has held true for many other transitions since then. Years later both kids remember only that preschool was a fun and loving place that they still miss, and even as middle schoolers, they love to call out hello to the school when we happen to drive by.
Look into co-ops! We're at Dandelion co-op in Berkeley and love it. Parents participate a few times a month and you can spend a long time at drop off helping your child settle, if you want. It's very flexible.
We're at Skytown Preschool in Richmond and have been really happy. Our oldest attended during the pandemic and now our 3 year old is in her second year. There's a new director who is full of vision and enthusiasm and the teachers are great. Nancy has been teaching there for something like 20 years and has been such a mentor I've learned so much from participating there, it's so much fun that I'm honestly considering becoming a preschool teacher myself! It's a great way to ease your child into a school structure but it's play based and child led so kids are met where they are at.
Echoing what others are saying: Definitely look into a co-op! We had an amazing experience at CCC (Children’s Community Center) in Berkeley, a parent-teacher co-op that has been around for almost 100 years. There are teachers that have been there 20+ and 30+ years. You’ll get a great understanding of what your child’s day looks like, learn a ton of parenting tools from teachers, your kids will have a magical experience with lots of outdoor play, gardening, stories, songs and art plus you and your child will gain friendships that will become your long lasting community.
Best of luck!
At Ecole Bilingue's preschool, we were able to participate quite a bit. I was on maternity leave when my son started school and so I went quite a bit, sometimes just to linger after dropoff and sometimes to volunteer with activities (very welcomed by the teachers). I don't know what the official policy is but the school's teachers we've had so far (across 2 years) seem very happy to have parents hang out. I also saw a couple of other parents who would come early to pick up and then just watch their kids play (as if it were a playground). Obvoiusly at some point there's a limit but I never saw the school react other than welcome parents helping out! As a French school they also encourage independence in kids.
Hi Mira, my child is at Skytown cooperative preschool and we’ve been really happy there. The basic idea of a co-op is that parents help keep the school running and assist the trained and experienced teachers in the classroom. Honestly it is a pretty big commitment! But the great thing about a co-op is you get to know everyone so well - parents, teachers, and kids alike. It doesn’t feel like there is a wall between the school and you as the parent at all.
As for dropping in, I haven’t seen parents hanging out in the classroom much outside of our assigned participation days, with the exception of the beginning of the year when kids are transitioning. That said, the school and teachers are flexible and open. I think most of us have had our fill of being at the school during our participation days and are ready for a break. At least that’s how I feel :)
As for independence, I feel like the teachers do a good job striking a balance between encouraging independence (kids solving their own conflicts, learning to tie their shoes, etc) and being available for help and scaffolding as needed. We talk about these things constantly, so if you like to nerd out with a group of people who enjoy thinking about and discussing parenting/ child development you will be happy.
Hope you find a school that works for your family!