Keeping the family house after divorce, who pays for what?

I know we need to hire a mediator and probably individual lawyers as well, but I was hoping others could share how they handled the mortgage and maintenance costs of the family home after divorce. My soon to be ex refuses to tell me whether he wants to stay in the house or leave until he sees the math laid out. Even though this is an obvious and familiar delay tactic, it would be helpful to know how others divide things so we can have some kind of initial conversation before paying a huge hourly rate to a professional. He earns more than I do and we plan on 50/50 custody so he’ll owe me some child support and alimony after our long marriage. If I stay in the home and we do deferred sale, it is not obvious to me whether he should have to pay for maintenance and/or home improvement (not that we’ll be able to afford that) given that he’ll get some of the increased value eventually. In addition to talking to a lawyer it would be helpful to hear how others handled these expenses (or other creative ways to handle this). If he moves out he would rent because we do not have the money to buy another place, so it’s going to be uneven no matter what.