ABA Therapy for Autism
- See Also: Therapy & Treatment for Autism ... Advice about Autism Spectrum
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is the application of the principles of learning and motivation from Behavior Analysis, and the procedures and technology derived from those principles, to the solution of problems of social significance. - www.centerforautism.com/
Parent Q&A
My two year old was recently diagnosis with autism, and while his issues are different from your sons, I have learned a lot about the disorder and I'm wondering if you have had your son assessed for autism recently? We recently started ABA (applied behavioral analysis) and can already see an improvement. I am by no means a professional, but it might be worth getting him assessed by a professional (again) just to be sure. Good luck.
Archived Q&A and Reviews
- ABA services for autistic 7-yr old in Berkeley
- ABA for 3 year old with autism?
- ABA therapy and working full time and general life
- Do you have experience with ABA treatment for autism?
ABA services for autistic 7-yr old in Berkeley
April 2013
We have a severely autistic 7-year-old son and are looking for ABA providers serving Berkeley. Currently we have about 15 hours per week of after-school ABA services, focussing on self-care, life skills, behavior management, socialization, and so on. We wish to continue these services when we move to Berkeley in June 2013. Our insurance company, Kaiser, recommended STE Consultants, BIA, CARD, or ABC, in that order. Does anyone have experience with these or any other ABA service providers? Thanks a lot! Mark
Hi! I sent you an email but, figured I should respond here in case you don't get it. I worked for BIA for years as a program manager and after having kids started working privately for families. BIA is a great organization. They are really supportive and create programs based on the child's needs specifically. They make it fun. It is amazing to see the progress happen. I think it works best if the parent is involved in the process and varies over the work they do into their daily life (e.g., generalization). That's when you see the most progress. Of course every families face challenges but with any program that will happen. Hilary and Deanne (the founders) are the best in the business. After my kids get a bit older I plan on going back. Please feel free to ask any questions. Good luck! Lindsay
We used the services of BIA for our son and we were very happy with them. Our son stopped receiving services almost three years ago now, but I credit BIA with making a huge positive difference in my son's life. I have also heard good things about STE Consultants, but I have never heard of the other two providers you mentioned. Anon
I highly recommend BIA. We worked with them for 3 years when my son was younger and I credit them for changing our lives completely. Feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions. Jill H
i'm a Marriage and Family Therapist and i see children on the Autism spectrum within the context of their relationships and family life. Over the past several years I've worked collaboratively with STE Consultants and i've been really pleased to work with them. They are very respectful of the parents' perspective and always welcome their input, and the folks i've worked with are very well trained and mostly awesome with the kids. I've seen them persevere with some incredibly difficult cases, with skill, dignity, and respect for the kids they serve. I highly recommend them! I also want to say that with the increse in diagnosed children combined with new legislation requiring insurance companies to pay for Autism treatment, i'd caution you about asking questions of your perspective providers. find out how much training their staff has! Best of Luck with your search! geri
ABA for 3 year old with autism?
Sept 2012
My 3 years old son was just diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum by Kaiser. Kaiser autism center suggested us to go for ABA therapy, so I did some research online about ABA; I like some of the ideas but don't really like the robot-liked system. I m just not sure on choosing the appropriate therapies, which can get the most beneficial on him since we already got late on being noticed of his autism. Also, my son is going to regular preschool for half day in Castro Valley, and he is learning from and making progress there, so I don't want to cut his school hour. The preschool teachers are saying my son is a strong imitator and he likes to watch the others kids playing; he just needs a lot of time to get used to one thing; once his speech catches up, his behavior issue should be better. Personally I agree with their opinion, but I don't want to give up any chance to help him. For sure he will go for speech program. So does anyone have any suggestion or experiences to share on the therapies besides than ABA, which would help with the tantrum and being in the community? Carrie
I was in your shoes about four years ago. My son was almost three when he was diagnosed with autism. He is now in a typical first grade class, has made some close friends, participates in sports, and is an overall happy kid. I cannot stress enough how important ABA was to our son and our family. We received funding for ABA through the Regional Center. If you haven't yet, you should contact them. Our ABA provider was BIA, and I highly recommend them (http://bia4autism.org/). It takes a big time commitment, and it can be stressful, but our son would not be doing as well as he is now without the many hours of therapy that he did. I also recommend speech and occupational therapy. In addition, we changed our son's diet to gluten free and casein free, and gave him certain supplements. We did all of these things consistently until he was five. After five, we reduced the therapies, but continued with the diet. Now at seven, my son goes to a group OT class, and still remains gluten free, for the most part. I've seen a few parents take a ''wait and see'' approach because they don't want to label their child or they don't feel the therapies are worth it, and I see that these children are really struggling years later because they were not put into the appropriate therapies earlier. It can be a scary and stressful journey, but it is so worth it when you see the positive results. Hopeful mom
Hi. I'm a special education teacher. If your child was diagnosed with autism then you should really go to the school district and request in writing that your child be evaluated for special education services. Once this evaluation has taken place and he qualifies for services - which he will if he has autism - the district is legally responsible for serving your son. Early intervention is absolutely key for children who have autism and teachers who are trained to work with such children should be working with your son - not just any preschool (no matter how exclusive) / daycare provider. That said, CVUSD has preschool for children who have disabilities. There isn't just one strategy that works best for any child so you need someone to work with your child who is studied in many techniques - a special ed teacher. I've taught older kids with autism and there is a huge difference between a child who received early intervention services from trained and certificated teachers and a child who did not. Please go to the district office asap. I hope this is helpful! M
Hi Carrie, I think you are doing the right thing to start on therapy as early as possible and to research different options. I do have experience with autistic children and would be happy to share with you. Kathy
ABA therapy and working full time and general life
June 2011
Our 2 year 4 month old son has not be diagnosed with anything, but has been receiving speech services for the 5 months and Infant Educator services for 2 months. A recent observation by a psychologist has resulted in a recommendation for ABA assessment and then therapy. The assessment is 15 hours a week plus 10 hours for parents and therapists. That's 3 hours a week one-on-one with our son. That seems like it's going to take over our life! We are feeling a little overwhelmed at this point especially given that both of us parents work full time. Any suggestions or ideas as to how to juggle all of this? thanks.
I hear you and can sympathize. My son (now 7) went through 1 year of the exact same ABA therapy you are talking about (through STE/RCEB?).
My 6 yr old received 1-to-1 services 3hrs/day for 1 solid year. I worked with a sr level therapist weekly for a year. he is now off that intense program but i still have weekly consultations to keep him on track. I use the strategies for my older son as well (9).
Before ABA my 6 yr old was having intense tantrums that were frankly frightening and totally out of control. He had severe OCD, anxiety, as well as his autistic/behavior issues. Now, OCD/anxiety are dramatically lessened, tantrums are minimal and much less severe and I've gotten control of his behaviors.
The bad - it is freaking exhausting! Other parents have absolutely NO idea what we go through. You have to stay on top of it almost in 5 minute increments throughout the day, every day, no break. I've learned ABA works only when parents are absolutely consistent. Once you start relaxing the strategies, the behaviors creep back up/get worse. It really is all about changing YOU so you can be more effective in dealing with your son.
The good-IT WORKS!!!!! Yes, its exhausting but not as exhausting as dealing with the behaviors BEFORE ABA. I'm a single mom with TWO special needs kids and I can manage it (though it is hard).
I have to constantly fine tune the strategies at least on a weekly basis. I have star charts up the ying yang! But it works for certain types of kids, including mine.
Here is an example: yesterday my younger son was with his babysitter. she said 'computer time is over. time to get off'. he went into meltdown mode - slowly creeping up to a level 10 tantrum. i heard it and came in the room. he was getting hysterical. PRE-ABA = we would have had a severe tantrum with kicking, scratching, clawing, biting for probably 30 minutes. POST ABA = i calmly said 'i will put the timer on for 1 minute then you will get off nicely'. i walked out of the room, put the timer on for 1 minute and he hopped off and said 'ok mom' and went to play in his room.
What have I learned? With my son, he needs to feel control. So by giving him 1 minute to get off, he feels in control of the decision to get off. Pre ABA I would have forced him like a mack truck to get off and totally clashed with him. It is that small of a fine tuning that totally avoided a meltdown. I give a little, he gets a little = we all win.
I would highly recommend doing ABA while your son is young and you can help him gain control over his actions. it gets way worse when trying to do this on older kids. You have a chance now to help him learn a better way to deal with his feelings/emotions. GOOD LUCK!! Been there, it DOES work
ABA is for children with autism. I'm curious about why it would be necessary if your son has not been diagnosed with anything? If your child does have autism then this program is absolutely in his best interest, regardless of the toll it might take on your life (in my opinion). On the other hand, if he doesn't, I don't know why it would be needed? At any rate, I had a home program at the intensity that you describe, for 2 years, and am happy to tell you about how it impacted our lives, if you decide to do it. I guess the question at this point is: Do YOU think intensive therapy is necessary? Jill
I have a 23-month-old son who was diagnosed with autism at 15 months. My son participates in 25 hours of ABA per week (plus PRT at Stanford) because the empirical research suggests that 25 hours a week is the minimum number of 1:1 ABA hours needed to effect positive change in children with autism or PDD-NOS. As 30-40 hours a week is really best, we are working towards this goal. Also, early intervention and parental involvement are key to successful outcomes, so we started ABA as soon as possible and are as engaged in his program as we can possibly be.
Let me be straight...All of this does takes over your life. Before I had my son I was a ph.d. level researcher. I knew I couldn't go back to FT work, so I took a PT job teaching and even that was tough. I spend most of every day fighting the regional center or insurance to get or keep services for my son, and when I am not taking calls or writing letters, I am participating in my son's 25-hour a week ABA program or taking him to Stanford for PRT (a type of ABA that teaches parents skills to increase their children's use of functional language). My husband has also had to make sacrifices, including taking a lot of vacation days to help out at home and participate in ABA at home and PRT at Stanford. I will add that I am currently 8 months pregnant and have spent my entire pregnancy stressing about my son and fighting for what he needs.
If ABA was recommended by a psychologist with expertise in working with young children with developmental delays, I would take her recommendation to heart and start ABA, ASAP. How involved you want to be may be your choice. Some parents have to work outside the home (for money or their sanity). Others of us are lucky enough to be able to stay home and participate in ABA more fully. Personally, I'd like to think my active participation in my son's program, keeps the quality of his care high, but there is no way to know for sure.
I dream of going back to work PT soon, but I have chosen to make my son's therapy a priority right now, as this is a critical period in his development. I do still believe that if you can set aside time for activities you enjoy that don't revolve around ABA, you may be happier. We don't have a handle on how to do that, yet, but we are working towards this goal. You might also consider getting on some of the local Yahoo listserves for parents of children with special needs (PPSNK, autisminterventionbayarea). anonymous
Our situation was similar. My son was assessed through RCEB for a 'speech delay' but I was concerned that he was autistic. They didn't give him an official diagnosis at that age, but after his evaluation, they recommended 25 hrs/week of ABA + speech therapy. They saw enough red flags for autism to get him into early intervention. (Later, at age three, he was diagnosed with high-functioning Autism.)
ABA turned him around, got him connecting and communicating with the world and people around him. We saw dramatic changes in his ability to communicate almost immediately. I was 'at home' with our other son who was about 5 mo's at the time. So the whole situation was intense. We had therapists in the home with us during all of his waking hours...but they were a pleasure to have around. I got used to it. I didn't get out a lot. I was glad I was home, because even though I wasn't actually participating on a daily basis (it's more 1-on-1 with the therapist), I totally 'got' the approach and could carry it into our home-life. (Things like this really only work when there's synergy with therapists and how the family works at home.)
You asked about working, though. Early intervention therapy is meant to happen ''in the least restrictive environment for the child''. So if your child is in full-time daycare, it happens there. We had about 4 months where it was happening in-home. Then he was at a preschool 2 mornings a week and the therapist was there with him. Then he started at a 4 day/week school and the therapist was with him there for another 2 months (until he turned 3).
We worked with STE Consultants (highly recommend). The thing I found most valuable was the weekly team meeting where all of the therapists and the clinical director got together to discuss progress. I was there for every meeting, asking questions, getting advice and insight, figuring out what to do in the home.
Here's what I would recommend to a working family. Every week, one of you takes a personal day and is at home to 'be around', observe or participate in the therapy. Make sure it's on the day of your team meeting. You'll feel involved. You don't have to be there every second, honestly. But on the flip side, I wouldn't want all of it happening while I was away, because it's so helpful for the parent. If you can't make a team meeting, arrange to call in.
It's such an important time in brain development, you'll see measurable improvements -- and this intensity level won't be forever. But it's worth it. Good luck. PS-6 months after our ABA wrapped up, I'm back at work full time. My son's in a OUSD preschool in the morning and 'our preschool' in the afternoons. - anon
Do you have experience with ABA treatment for autism?
April 2010
We're starting ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) with our 2 year old son and I'm wondering what to expect and how to get the most out of this opportunity. Does anyone one out there have experience? It sounds a bit intense. We've been allotted up to 25 hours per week, in-home. He qualified for services through Regional Center East Bay. He has a severe speech delay and has delays in his social/emotional/play/motor to varying degrees as well. He may be on the high-functioning end of the Autism spectrum. We don't have a diagnosis yet.
I was blown away by how many hours it is. I just assumed that it would be once a week, like his speech therapy. But I guess this is what early intervention is all about. I'm eager to get started, but I don't really know what to expect. I'd love insight from anyone who has gone through it. Here my over-arching questions:
- We'll be working with STE Consultants. Anyone have experience with them?
- What is it like having therapists in the house all the time?
- Were you involved with the therapy, or was your child working one-on-one with the therapist? (Did you get to learn strategies to help/guide/teach your child?)
- Did they support your child in a day-care or pre-school setting? How did that work?
- How can we, as parents, help this early intervention to be as fruitful and successful as it can be?
- Is there anything that you know now that you wish you knew when you started off?
Thank you! Anonymous
Yep, that's the key to ABA, the intensity of it. We had a home program that lasted 2 years, 15 hours/week, and during that time we ''weren't allowed'' to take vacations or be gone for any extended period of time. I'm a little surprised RCEB has given you this service without an actual ASD diagnosis, but he's only 2, that's almost too young, still, to be diagnosed. It's good that you're starting early, though, the earlier you start, the better the prognosis.
- We worked with BIA, who I simply can't rave about enough, so I don't know anything about STE.
- You get used to having people in your house all the time. At first it was a little weird, and I did a lot of extra cleaning, but after a while they just became like family members and I was used to it. It helped that I adored all of the therapists we worked with (I'm still in touch with all of them on Facebook, 3 years later) and there was practically no turnover in the 2 years
- I was involved in the planning of the program but not with the actual carrying out of it. This is because when I'm in the room my son prefers to sit in my lap and snuggle and not do any work, so my presence was more of a hindrance than a help, that may not be the case for you. If it's a good program they will work with whatever you have to offer.
- We got classroom support, mostly in the form of evaluations and recommendations, and also IEP attendance (that's a whole other thing you don't have to deal with yet!)
- As for how you can help success, I would say just keep an open mind. These guys know what they're doing, and the first thing I learned about ABA was that it is ''counter-intuitive'' to what you think should work; a lot of it just went completely against my natural instincts as a parent, but that's kind of what autism does to you, it forces you to change your expectations about what kind of parent you thought you might be, because it's in charge, and not you.
- I don't think there's anything I know now that I wish I knew then, we were lucky that we had such a fantastic team and we saw immediate results. My suggestion for you, just beginning this autism journey, is to find a support group, either online or not (online support groups tend to fit your schedule better) because you're going to need the help and support of other parents who are where you are or have been where you are, to help get you through this. Good luck. Jill
I highly recommend getting in touch with Diane Hunter. She is a mom of an autistic son who knows a lot and is a great resource for everything that goes along with it. She is now working as a life coach for parents whose children have been diagnosed, she has an upcoming workshop that looks amazing, I just can't say enough about starting with Diane. Her website is www.AfterAutism.com. torie
I have experience as a nurse case manager for a set of twins who received ABA in a very tiny apartment! Yes, its intense, its a huge time commitment, and. . . the kids showed almost immediate benefit. The parents have challenges and this mom really stepped up to the plate! Good luck and enjoy learning about how much your child will grow. Nurseb
Our autistic son has been in ABA therapy for two years with CARD. He is beginning to use words to get what he wants, and his behavioral problems (screaming, banging his head, pica,etc.) started to improve within the first 3 months. I found from previous experience that the 25 hours a week (40 hours is best), is absolutely necessary.
It is not easy to have people in your house all the time, but you will become accustomed to it. Therapy can also be done on outings if the therapists are open to it.
If you want to make sure the ABA is successful, you must know what your child is working on and be sure to reinforce it. All will be for naught if you cave to temper tantrums, or it just seems like too much work to do it the ABA way. Nothing is worse than having to start over when the therapist arrives every day. Julie
ABA is a scientifically based therapy for children on the autism spectrum. To get yourself introduced to ABA therapy, it would be helpful to research a bit about the founder of ABA : Dr. Lovaas.
ABA is provided in a 1:1 setting, by a behavior tech (up to 2 or 3)/supervised by a senior consultant and is based on targets or goals in which data is collected to measure progress. The targets are typically based on an initial assessment. The targets, especially if these are regional center funded services, will focus on getting your child ready for the community - communication, potty training, behavior, eating, dressing and self help skills.
Studies have proven that a program of 25-40 hours per week is the most beneficial to young children r.
I have worked with STE on special education cases and have had the opportunity to work with many ABA providers across the state. I can only speak as a special education attorney and say they are excellent at what they do. To answer your specific questions:
1. Yes, parent training is always involved and you should ask STE how much, when and how you can learn.
2. Prepare your house for therapists and therapy. Have an area dedicated to ABA therapy it will definitely make the services go more smoothly.
3. STE and other ABA providers can support your child in preschool. Regional Center should be consulted and approve this service. However, by the time your child is 3, the school district will take over. Contact your preschool and talk with STE. The targets and goals (as well as the data) will be collected at the preschool site and the 1:1 behaviorist works with your child to contrive opportunities to socialize, communicate and follow the program.
4. As parent, the best thing to do is to stay on top of the program, join some autism parenting groups and read up on ABA. Get copies of data sheets (ask STE to provide them to you at the end of each week), start a binder and keep records. Let STE know that you would like some training (this is almost always part of the program) and how can you be involved.
5. Going forward:Get all of your providers to communicate with one another. Sounds like you may even want to ask Regional Center for more speech. If your providers have each others reports and records, they can capitalize on what the other is doing. Consistency and generalization across settings is key. Mandy
I am glad so many people have had good experiences with ABA, but I feel I most pose some cautions. I am a pediatric physical therapist with 5 years experience, 3 in a sensory integration clinic. I am also the parent of a beautiful almost 3 year old with sensory processing disorder who may/may not also be on the spectrum. I believe that any pediatric therapeutic intervention needs to be child directed (the child's interest, needs, wants, are the basis of which you build & structure your therapeutic intervention). Having said this, go with your gut, you are your child's strongest advocate & don't be afraid to voice concerns over something that bothers or troubles you regarding any therapeutic intervention. We were first referred to BIA. This resulted in 2 months of trauma for my son. They were extremely forceful, held him in place, ignored his sensory needs(he needs deep pressure, proprioceptive,& vestibular input in order to organize & focus), would consistently take away toys forcefully (desired & non desired) even when he was interested & learning from it. My child started having horrible tantrums, something he never had & which disappeared after we ended our association with BIA. The director also told me that if I ''would only agree to their methods'' that ''they would give me the gift of a typical child'' A statement I find offensive as both a clinician & a parent. We were then blessed to find Easter Seals, a hybrid of ABA that follows the Denver floor time model of intervention & is more child directed while implementing some of the ABA principles. Easter Seals in combination with occupational therapy at Suma Kids & speech therapy at Alta Bates has been a wonderful approach & our son has gone from 37 words to 150 words & short phrases, in addition to increased social interactions as his sensory needs are being met. I strongly urge you to have your child evaluated for Occupational Therapy by a sensory integration trained therapist. I am not familiar with your service providers for ABA, & they may be wonderful. I just felt I could not let everyone sing ABA's praises without giving you this cautionary note. ASD is just a label, what counts is your child's individual impairments/delays/difficulties & you must find the right intervention for your child. Please do not be afraid to question,or change interventions until you find the right fit. Best Wishes in your path to helping your child live his best life. Ann
STE has been working with my son since he was diagnosed a year and a half ago. We are thrilled with them and I'm glad to discuss with you. I don't have a copy of your original post to address your specific questions, but feel free to e-mail me. Best, Heather
Hello! I would highly recommend the book "Uniquely Human" by Dr. Barry Prizant. It is a beautiful book that looks to the positives of neurodiversity instead of the common view that there is something that needs fixing/changing. I would also highly recommend looking up Greg Santucci, OT on Facebook, as he also has a beautiful and positive take on working with neurodiverse kiddos. I follow the hashtag #actuallyautistic on Instagram, for some reallllly great (and often difficult) personal views of how ABA was perceived by autistic individuals in the community. (It's rarely positive, I'm afraid.) Here are a few great websites: https://www.theexpertally.com/ , https://www.nicolefilipponeauthor.com/ , & https://autismsupermomsmagazine.com/blog/ . Lastly, I discovered a wonderful advocate in the Bay Area named Maisie Soetantyo who has a lot of information on both Instagram/Facebook, as well as a organization that she runs to help young autistic adults with finding meaningful work, called Autism Career Pathways. She's super responsive to questions from parents! I'm am a mom to a recently diagnosed 7 yr old son, and would be more than happy to talk with you about my own experience (navigating OT/PT/Talk therapy/Kaiser/schooling, etc., if you're interested. Every kid and path is unique. The most important advice I can give is to trust your parenting instincts. YOU are the expert, and true support works with the knowledge that parents know their kids better than anyone. Best of luck. :)
Hi Dan,
Your child has some great strengths and it's good to be mindful about services would best benefit his needs. My child was very similar to yours at that age. Social skills and adaptability were our challenges. The path we chose was a combination of ABA and social skills groups. There is a lot of data and opinions about ABA. It's best to see for yourself and your son if it'll be a good fit for him and your family. I found that the application of ABA from providers worked best for us if it was more naturalistic in style.
You'll find that ABA companies are different - the turnover rates for direct staff are high. Most likely there'll be a clinical supervisor (BCBA) who will oversee a behavioral technician (this person will work the most with your child). Look for someone who is able to engage well with your child, in a style that is comfortable for him and your family. Communication is key - know what your boundaries are, but try to keep an open mind to potential interventions. I've found most staff were willing to work with me about suggestions for my child. We had sessions not only at our home but outside in the community (parks, play-dates) to promote skills. There will always be staff that you like more and some you don't. It's not uncommon to request for another staff for a better fit (just know, it might be a wait).
You mentioned your school district may have options. That's also a good place to start. My kid did a combination of school services (preschool/ABA) and private ABA, and eventually social skills groups. It made for long days, but we saw much growth. You can always ask to tour the potential classroom to see what it is like (this was certainly available pre-Covid). Join your local SELPA - there should be special education resources for your district. Get to know other families at your school and/or in your area. They are always the best to get local information from - classrooms, ABA companies, special needs friendly places, etc.
All the best to you - our kids will make progress in their own time and it's amazing to see.
I am a parent and a school psychologist. I always recommend that parents access ABA Therapy as early as they can. It is most effective early and it does really seem to help. I can't think of a downside. I believe it can be hard to find ABA therapists. You may not have so many choices.
As for suggestions for ASD newbies, I would start by limiting screen time and playing 1:1 with your child. Do all the usual fun stuff with them. If he is rigid, prep him ahead of time for what is likely to happen. He is likely to ask you a lot of questions, answer as best you can. You can write your own social stories for him, or find relevant ones online. Social stories help explain social expectations in a kid-friendly way.
Typically kids like this do very well in school because they like the structure and rules. Learning comes easily to them. The real challenge is with social functioning. I would try to encourage him to socialize with peers around shared interests. He won't have many peers who will be able to read, of course, but maybe he enjoys trucks, dinosaurs, or playing in the mud? As much as you can, treat him as a regular kid.
--Silvia
I’m not sure if it is available here, but my sister is a speech therapist who works withASD children using play therapy (in NJ. )
Hi Dan,
I'm an adult who learned I am autistic as an adult, so I haven't been through ABA myself.
But, what I can say is, the best advice is to listen to autistic adults talk about their experiences. There are some good books on this (this is the recommendations list from an online book club for autistic people that I'm in List) and social media is great (#actuallyautistic, Ask Autistic Adults on Facebook, etc). https://www.auteach.com is run by autistic adults with professional backgrounds in helping autistic kids, and has a great tiktok, YouTube, and some consulting services on finding the right therapies and help for your kid. Also, I have learned a TON supporting my probably autistic toddler and myself from following pediatric OT's on social media. They have great advice on sensory stuff, and how to help autistic kids learn to regulate.
I beleive, strongly, from listening to other autistic adults who went through ABA, that it is harmful. Looking or acting not-autistic is a soul crushing goal for autistic people. Your kid can have an awesome life. The most important thing is to support them for who they are, and knowing and loving that who they are is autistic. They will never be "cured" or "normal again". Being autistic is just being a person with a different kind of brain.
We have been very pleased with our ABA experience for my son. He began working with a BCBA and Behavior Tech from Kadiant ( https://kadiant.com/) when he had just turned 3 years old and is fading out ABA services as he has improved his skills so much that he doesn't need it now at 5 years old. The ABA sessions are fun and my son looks forward to seeing his BT and BCBA, who are a big part of his (and our) support system for his parenting. When they work with my son at home, they'll play games or take turns choosing different activities together, but all along, they are working on different skills with him like taking turns, expressing his needs, or recognizing when he is in the "red zone" so he can practice regulation skills. Once a month or more, we meet with them to go over his progress in specific skills and come up with new goals together so we can be working with him at home, too. His BT attended preschool with my son for half days and while there, she prompted him about various social skills while on the playground or gently supported him when he had a meltdown. I had the same concerns as you, but once I was able to observe ABA for myself, my fears were alleviated. I think it is important to ask how much experience the Behavior Tech and the BCBA that will be assigned to your child has. Other than that, we found that the most helpful thing to do was to observe any BT the company sent out to us and see if they were a good fit and we liked the way they interacted with our son. We observed two that were not so great but were assigned to one that is wonderful and we have been lucky enough that she has stayed with my son for the past two years. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.