Advice about Shyness

Archived Q&A and Reviews


Shy mom, shy baby - book recommendation?

July 2003

I'm a shy mother who is starting to see signs of similar shyness (or ''slow-to-warmism'') in my 18-month-old son. I'm looking for books that might help me learn how best to support him as he grows up. Can anyone give me recommendations for books they've found helpful, particularly if the books discuss shy toddlers? Still Slow-to-Warm

I don't have a book recommendation, but this website might be useful:

It was recommended by Rona Renner, local RN and radio show host. Her website has a lot of good information and additional links. Betty

My third child was shy; it was clear from birth. I got all the books I could find (very few) but the most helpful was the one associated with Stanford, where there is a shyness clinic. I used the ideas in there, and over time, a long time, it made a big difference. I started reading when she was in pre-school, mainly stood next to other children and observed, had trouble looking people in the eye, in fact, didn't like knowing the people were looking at her, and had trouble saying what she wanted to others. At home, she was fine. Everything I did helped, and there were specific suggestions in that book. Also, don't apologize, find words to explain, that won't hurt your child if hes/she hears it. It's important to acknowledge that the condition exists (you don't even have to call it shyness, call it something that makes sense to the kid), and talk about it. We did a lot of feedback and try again next time. This will always affect her but she has changed a lot; if I did nothing, I can't imagine her coping with much of anything as a t anon

For the shy mother seeking books on shyness in children-- Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Child is worth a read. Elaine has taken earlier research on shyness the next step. Even if you don't relate to the highly sensitive label, there's a lot of great advice in the book for anyone with a shy child. I would recommend her book The Highly Sensitive Person for shy adults. Claudia

I found the book: the sensitive child by Janet Poland, to be very helpful. eve

I am reading ''The Shy Child'' by Ward Swallow right now and it is helpful for my almost 3 year old. Jan