Teens and Privacy
Hi, My ten and a half year old daughter started her period a few months ago. She has some breast development and body hair. She refuses to discuss wearing a bra, doesn't want me to talk to her AT ALL about her periods, and won't let me wash her hair/be in the room when she changes clothing, etc.
I'm feeling bewildered and a little concerned. Is this in the normal range of preteen/teen modesty, or should I be worried about a poor body image? I think that she wishes that all this ''maturity'' wasn't happening to her yet. a concerned mom
This newsletter is more helpful than anything out there to us parents raising teens! I learn things that I otherwise wouldn't know or even want to know about and feel better prepared to deal with them or avoid them. This is the same approach I take to finding out about my kid's life, issue or potential problems. I actively seek out information that I might not want to know even if it means snooping. Yes I will even read my daughter's IM messages and interestingly enough even though I often confront her about her messages ( ''I was high on double dose of Midol cramps medicine today'') she continually leaves those IMs on the open computer screen as if she wants me to read them. Others might dissagree but I feel it is my responsibility to know what my kids have under their beds or in their closets or in their computers. If the parents of those two Columbine boys snooped around their closets maybe they wouldn't be able to stockpile their weapons and kills so many innocent kids. Maybe by finding marijuana baggies one can prevent a kid to become a dealer or a user or save a girl's life by discovering she is taking large doses of Tylenol. Better safe than sorry, better a snoop than a naive, clueless parent. Snooping Mom
In response to the email from Rebecca to the mom who found suspicious baggies in her son's backpack while he is far away at college: I disagree. I feel that when our children go away to college, the boundaries around these possessions change a bit. THis young man is far away at college. He is an adult. He has moved out, and does not live there now. It is not the same. He is only using this room to store stuff. Many parents redo and reuse their kids' rooms and things when they are away. That's the least parents can do when they are paying for their college. If this was something intimate and personal, he would have taken it with him. It is not snooping, it's seeing what has been left in your house and using what is sitting there unused. Their rooms and their stuff are not shrines when they leave. Anonymous