Switching from Public to Private School
Related Pages: More Advice about Private School vs. Public School ... Advice about Changing Schools
Parent Q&A
Archived Q&A and Reviews
Nov 2011
My son will most likely be attending a private high school (although we are looking at two charter high schools as well) next school year. He currently goes to a middle school in Berkeley and is zoned in for Berkeley High. However, we have decided not to send him -- he is not used to such a huge school (has always been in small schools) and thrives when he is in smaller class sizes. We are also concerned about the safety of students in Berkeley High, class sizes, academics, etc.
- Is there a way on making the public to private school transition easier for him? He knows he won't be attending BHS next year, and is not very happy with the idea, as he thinks he won't be able to talk or hang out with his friends anymore. Is there someway we can assure him that he'll still be able to spend time with them?
Thank you! -family switching from public to private
Your son will lose touch with old friends unless they are really close now. I think most kids make new friends in high school as they transition from being children to young adults and redefine themselves. Most kids make new friends going from middle to high school, don't they? Quite simply, he most likely won't have time for his new friends and to hang with his old friends. And his new friends likely won't want to hang out with his old friends. Also, my limited experience is that a lot of public school kids resent/don't like the private school kids. You make choices, you live with the consequences. BHS Grad and Dad
My sons' transition into a private high school was made easier by participation with sports teams. The sports at his school encourage participation and many of the teams have summer leagues or other activities where incoming freshman are welcome. You can contact coaches directly by email. Ellen
How hard to move a 3rd grader to private school?
Sept 2008
We have two boys, one of whom is in second grade at Thousand Oaks and one who will start kindergarten next year. Our sons kindergarten year was great at Thousand Oaks, but about 1/2 way through last year, we started feeling dissatisfied with our sons experience at Thousand Oaks (academically, socially, multiple reasons). We are considering sending our second son to a private school (Prospect Sierra, if possible)and also transfering our older son to this school as well at the start of next year (3rd grade). I am curious what other parent's experience has been in terms of how easy it is to transfer into private schools if you wait until the 3rd or 4th grade- both how your childs experience is and how easy it was to be accepted as a transfer into the private school of your choice? Thanks, -Anon
The answer is that it depends. If you son is trying to get into a certain grade, it will depend on whether that grade is fully enrolled at that school, and whether there are openings because of current students moving or changing schools. The school will also look at your child and how he will fit into that particular class of kids (i.e., is he a quiet, bookish boy who would nicely balance out a class that has an abundance of very active kids? Race, gender and other diversity factors also make a difference at some schools.) It will also depend on whether you are seeking tuition assistance and if the school's budget will allow it to support another student on TA. Don't take it personally if you child doesn't get in. Sometimes you have to persist for a few years before there is a spot available. You should probably not set your hopes on one school being able to accommodate both of your boys, and look at a number of options.
As for the adjustment issue, I transferred my son from Berkeley public to a private school when he was in 3rd grade. He wasn't very happy about moving schools at the time because he liked his school. But even though it was hard to do, I think it was the right decision because the private school was better able to serve him academically. He eventually adjusted, and I was also glad that since the school is K-8, he didn't have to make another switch at middle school. These are hard choices to make. Good luck. anon
I can't speak directly to Prospect Sierra but my son attends a private school that has a somewhat similar admissions profile, I think, and each year there are a few students who transfer in at the lower grades from other schools, both public and private. There is attrition from people leaving due to family moves, or other reasons. Each year from first grade onward there have been a couple of ''new kids'' and it is amazing how even in a close school community how quickly the newness wears off and they fit right in! At our school the admissions director would happily put you in touch with a family new to the school so you could chat directly about your concerns and their experiences. If you would like to email me off list ask the moderator for my contact info. Good luck!
Changing from public to private for 6th grade
April 2007
I would like to have the opinion of parents who opted to transfer their child from public to private schools and vice versa. Any regret or, at the contrary, satisfaction ? I am considering to have my child start 6th grade in a private school next year after he was in a elementary public school in Berkeley, but I am still hesitating. Thanks for any relevant experience in this matter.
We are about to make the switch from years and years of private schools (in different parts of the country due to moves) to public. Two pieces of advice I can offer from all my experience is that 1)- you don't necessarily get what you pay for as my expectations were high and I always found that accountability was negligible in terms of the administration caring whether you were a satisfied customer or not. 2)- it's all about the teachers. So, I would try as hard as possible to meet the teachers and talk to them at length. Also, curriculum is all over the map in private school. We never felt like there was enough coverage of the basics in private school. anon
Making Transition from Public to Private School
March 2007
My daughter is currently enrolled in a public school but will be switching to a private school next year. She's not making this change at a standard entry year, such as kindergarten or middle school. What kind of transitional issues should I be aware of, and what questions should I ask of her new school before she begins in September? I'd love to hear from other parents who have transitioned from public to private about their experiences and any suggestions they may have about making this a smooth change. What do you wish you had known, and how do you suggest I prepare? We're very excited to be joining this new school and want to do what we can to have a wonderful experience from the start. Thanks, parents! anon
I would say that you should be optimistic, but also realistic: every school has its plusses and minuses, and you may be very happy with most aspects of the new school, while still finding yourself missing aspects of the old school. We changed to a private school for 5th grade after K-4 in public school. We had had some problems at public school that the private school did solve, but the private school had some problems that we did not anticipate. On the plus side, the atmosphere was calmer and less chaotic, class size was smaller, and my child seemed more content at first. He had no problems making new friends. He had attended the new school's summer session before he started so it was familiar by September. On the minus side, the school had taught a foreign language since kindergarten and my child had never had a foreign language. The new school made no provision for him to catch up - we were on our own! Rules about behavior and dress at the new school were much, much stricter, something I had not expected. The academics at the new school were much more demanding than in public school - homework took 5 or more hours a night. We knew there would be more work, but we were unprepared for how much more. Other kids who'd been at the school since K were used to the work and had made changes years before to accommodate it. A big surprise for me was that there was little flexibility in teaching style or in teacher's expectations - every kid needed to function at the same level, different from public school. Finally, the insular environment that we had actually sought out in this private school, proved too stifling for my kid. We fully expected to have a wonderful experience at the school, and we did for the first few weeks, but after the initial honeymoon period, the minuses began to outweigh the plusses and we returned to public school the next year. The school was simply a bad fit for my child. So, just be aware that you may not like EVERYthing, but hopefully the plusses will outweigh the minuses! Mixed results
I am happy to say we had a very smooth transition from public to private school this past year. Our two daughters began third grade and fifth grade at a private school this year after attending public school since kindergarten. We also enrolled our kindergartner. We have been very happy with the smaller class sizes and higher teacher to student ratios. The homework takes the same amount of time as at the public school, but the difference is our daughters know what they is doing and can work independently. The homework assignments are also interesting and meaningful. We are happy there is no homework in kindergarten, unlike the public school. Our kids are all very excited and happy about school now. The school did a wonderful job supporting us in making the transition. The teachers looked at each child's individual needs and brought in the resource specialists right away in areas where they needed to bridge a gap. The teachers were always approachable and available through email to answer our questions. They had useful suggestions on how we could help at home. The best surprise in our move was the very welcoming and friendly school community. The students are taught beginning in kindergarten the value of community and working with others. The school creates buddy pairs and families made up of teachers and students from each grade level to promote students getting to know others throughout the school. Our children cherish this special time for buddy and family activities at school. In this environment, the students in third and fifth grade were very open and welcoming to us. The girls quickly made new friends and felt part of the class. As you prepare for your transition, I recommend getting involved as a family in your new school community by attending school events and getting together with families at the school. Still make it a priority to maintain your child\x92s friendships from the public school. Also, partner with your child's teacher to ensure everyone is doing what is needed to support your student to make a successful transition. Good luck!
Prospect Sierra Parent
Switching to private school after kindergarten
Jan 2007
We are considering switching our daughter to a private school after this year (she is currently in Kindergarten). We did open enrollment and she is in a decent public school in North Oakland. While this school has good arts and music programs, we are concerned about the overall quality of the curriculum- a lot of open-court, inability to differentiate instruction based on different learning levels, homework at Kindergarten (lots of it), too many worksheets,a focus on teaching to the test, an emphasis on extrinsic rewards for learning and a shift in our daughter's attitude towards school and learning. Our child has always been a very intellectually curious person and loved going to pre-school. She is complaining of being bored at school and she is starting to view school and homework as a chore. I've also noticed a shift in her attitude toward trying things she doesn't know how to do (if she can't get it perfect, she doesn't want to do it). I've read the previous postings on the network. This is my challenge, I fundamentally disagree with the curriculum and instructional philosophy being implemented at my daughter's school. While socially she is very happy there, I am concerned about this shift in attitude. Am I over-reacting? Should I just suck it up and be happy that we have a somewhat decent, free public school. Or, is dissasisfaction with the educational philosophy (i.e. open court, worksheets, extrinsic rewards) enough reason to go private? I am particularly interested in hearing from parents who have done this shift from public to private. Thanks. Anon
For what its worth, here is my own experience: We also strongly considered switching our son to private school after kindergarten because he was not excited about going, and often when I asked him about the activities at school he said they were ''boring''. We decided to wait it out - now he is in first grade, and he is much happier. I think the main differences are that now he goes for a full day, not just a three hour kindergarten, so he has recess and lunch periods to play with the other kids and make friends. He also gets to do the art, music, and PE programs (kindergarten doesn't get those). Another thing that helps is that his first grade teacher allows a lot of independent activities and choices, which is great for my son's personality, whereas in kindergarten almost everything was done in groups. So we are going to stick with public for now, as it seems to be working out. Just my 2 cents
I started my son in a private school, but thought I'd reply because I shared a number of your concerns last year. To start, I want to tell you some of the best advice I got about elemntary school as a whole: while looking at schools, both public and private, I told a friend with older kids that I just wanted to find an elementary school I loved as much as I loved my son's preschool. ''Oh, you won't,'' my friend told me bluntly. ''Both you and your child engage in preschool in a different way than you will in elementary school.'' I find that to be true. But I also think you can like your kid's elementary school a whole lot, and feel that he or she is in the right place.
Your post sounds like you think your daughter's school might not be the best for either of you. The things you mentioned as concerns are real and valid, and I don't think you'll feel settled until you look at and weigh the options.
In a private school, chances are your daughter will get an education that is not ''teaching to the test,'' and not workbook based (however, there are some elementary schools that use the Open Court workbooks). Teachers have different requirements at a private school, and often few kids per class, or more help in the classroom. That means that the kids tend to get more individual attention. Also, most private schools know a lot about learning differences, and even if schools don't have learning specialists on staff, teachers are often given the resources to work on more individual plans with kids.
However, all this comes at a cost. Tuition is a fact of private schools, and even with financial aid it's not easy. Be aware, also, that tuition is just the biggest part of the cost, there's also volunteer hours, annual giving, fundraising, field trips, t-shirts, gifts for teachers, etc.
Some people say that they can understand paying for part of their kids' education, but not all of it. Often people think middle school or high school is more important than grade school. I think that the first years of learning set up a pattern for later years. Disengagement in kindergarten is a big red flag for me. Yes, kindergarten is different and often harder than preschool. My son feels it too. But he has never said he felt bored. I believe that the good habits and attitudes and the love of learning he is developing now will last his whole life time. You are going to have to weigh your dissatisfaction with public school and the costs of private school. But before you even start looking at private schools, decide if you can afford it. If you have more than one child, decide if you can afford to send them all to private school. If you can't, try to somehow make your daughter's experience in her current school better. Because you might find it really hard to look private school and then turn away. berkeley parent
I think the issue is not only your disagreement with the philosophy/curriculum of her school, it is also that she is already looking at school (the learning aspect at least) in a negative way in Kindergarden! I agree with your concerns about her school and think you are right to consider private school. As a product of public schools it saddens me to see them turn someone who was intellectually curious and make them dislike school. (Not to put all the blame on the individual schools, there are many great teachers and administrators, but with No Child Left Behind, they have huge pressures on them leading to messed up education.) We feared what you describe when we were looking for schools for our child and decided on private school. We and our kid have been very happy with our choice (Aurora). There is a wide variety of private schools in the East Bay. I encourage you to check them out. Happy Mom Happy Kid
I feel for you sister! I don't have an answer but I feel somewhat in the same boat--mostly about the homework (although we can't afford private school at this time, so it is more about how to adjust). Have you actually been in the classroom? What I have seen in our school, in K anyway: the teacher is extremely creative with open court, and supplements it with more interesting ''writer's workshop'' type activities. Her approach to the curriculum makes sense to me--she seems to have a range of different type activities, some pretty basic (and some of which my daughter needs) and some more creative, higher level (also some of which my daughter needs). Yeah, it is HARD to get on board with the worksheets, but I try to look at the big picture which is: for some kids this really is all they get, they are not coming from literacy rich environments, and skill drills are probably helpful. (and frankly, the homework is the similar to the crap I had in elementary school and at times I loved it, when I didnt I survived!) Also, in the big picture: my daughter gets tons of informal and formal ''enrichment'' by being a child of liberal, middle class parents who care (desperately?) about her education. Also, having taken the PSAT, SAT, GRE, LSAT, gone to law school, and taken the cal bar etc--I have had to do plenty of ''studying for the test'' so it is not the worst skill to acquire, along with an earnest love of learning! Making the best of a good school in the OUSD
You and your daughter, like many others, have be subjected to the trials and troubles of the American public school system. It is not in a good state right now. I would not consider a school that is robbing your daughter of her love of learning decent. If you can find a private school that fits her better, and can afford it, I would do it. She spends at least half her waking hours in school, and it should be a place where she can explore, discover, and learn. If she is not getting that at her currant school, I would suggest a move as soon as possible, before it further infringes upon her life. I'm sorry if I'm sonding a little melodramatic, but few people realize what the 'teaching to a test' school system can do to kids, and it really worries me. If you can, I would get your daughter out of there. Mark
You are absolutely not overreacting. I have the same set of concerns that you have. My son, who loved his play-based preschool, and has loved learning of all kinds, hates Kindergarten (also at one of the ''good'' Oakland schools) and has told me so many times. He refuses to even attempt to read or write most of the time, and gets angry if I suggest it. I also am strongly considering a shift to private school. What OUSD is doing is wrong, and there is plenty of research to back me up in suggesting this. And there is plenty of research, too, showing that child's attitude toward learning is of vital importance. Karen
I don't have any advice for you about whether you should change to private school or stay in public school, but if you do decide to change, I can tell you this: most private schools will have very few or no openings at the first grade level. If you do find a private school that has a lot of openings, you should take a good look at it, because there might be a reason why, and that reason might mean that your current school is a better option for now. I changed my child from public to private in fourth grade, and the only school that I could get him in to turned out to be really dreadful, and he was back into the public school the next year. Hate to be all doom and gloom, but this is a real possibility of enrolling in private schools outside of the usual entry points. There are exceptions of course, but they are rare. a mom
I wanted to respond to one of the previous posts to this question. It was stated that it's hard to switch to private schools outside of a couple of key years when there's a lot of transition or when they open the grades up to taking more kids (typically 6th or 9th grade). My kids are in private school and I have noticed that there is a lot of movement after Kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grades and quite a few spots open up in each grade. Usually this is because families have faced the huge expense that is private school and they decide to switch to public. Fee increases hit about this time of year for the coming year and many families are looking at putting their 2nd or 3rd child into school and realize that it's just not financially feasible to stay in private schools. It's my theory that soon our private schools are going to be populated by mainly single children as multi-child families simply won't be able to pay the fees.
So don't be discouraged, there are places available in the private schools and it's not because there's something wrong with the school.
When to switch from public to private school
Nov 2003
Hi - a general question, while considering switching from Berkeley Public schools to a private school setting. Are the possibilities for entering private school just K, and then 6 (middle school)? Or, have parents had success in applying in some intermediate grades: 3rd, 4th. If you were advising someone considering the public - private switch, would you suggest waiting until 6th grade so the ''break'' is clean? Or do you think kids can successfully transition at 3rd or 4th. Any thoughts, advice, experiences, opinions, etc. on switching from public to private are welcome! Thanks. Berkeley parent
In response to the question of when to change schools from public to private, I don't think it matters much at all. I had one son change at 6th grade, another at 2nd, seen childen come into the class at 3rd, 4th, 5th 7th, 8th... The real answer is one should put the child in the school that is appropriate at that moment, and not wait. The only reason to wait is if one is forced to because the school of choice has no space. Don't Wait
We moved our daughter from a Berkeley public school to private school at 3rd grade. She has done great. Some of it may be the school, Berkeley Montessori, which stresses non-clique type social interactions so she made friends very quickly. Also, the change in learning environment was so welcomed by her that we have had nothing but a positive experience. We also made sure to maintain one strong friendship from public school which may have helped in the transition. Good luck. Alice
Considering leaving public elementary school
Dec 1999
I am seeking advice about switching my two children to a private school. They currently attend early grades in a local public school. I would like to hear from other parents who have tried to do this. Have you been successful? What did you do? Did you apply when families typically apply for kindergarten?
We have been very happy with the teaching in our local elementary school but have grown increasingly frustrated with the behaviors tolerated outside the class room (especially on the playground), as well as with the heartbreaking set of problems that interfere with learning on the part of many of our children's classmates.
While we know of a few cases where families have successfully made the switch to private schools, the general opinion out there seems to be that if parents don't opt for private schools at the kindergarten level, its impossible to get into private schools later. We hope that this isn't true but need to know if this has been the experience of other parents.
Thanks for any information and/or helpful advice.
From our experience at Windrush School in El Cerrito, children coming in to the school after kindergarten are welcomed and do not have problems with the transition. Now is the time to be investigating and applying to schools, although I don't think they will know about openings until they get the contracts signed from returning students. There are often a few openings even in mid-year for various grades at the private schools, for instance I know there are 2 openings for 2nd grade girls at Windrush. My experience is that there are a handful of new students each year coming from either public school or other private schools, and the kids who have been there welcome the new children (in a small school, new friends are very exciting). Private schools do experience some turnover, from people who move, decide they can no longer afford it, decide to give the public schools a try, decide the school's philosophy is not for them, etc. I would recommend investigating the schools you are interested in, take the tours and talk to the administrators, teachers and parents, find out which schools have openings now, and then apply. If you want more information on Windrush, feel free to contact me.
We moved our daughter from public to private school this year for fourth grade, in part for the reasons you described (behavioral, etc.) and in part because her mind was not being challenged enough in public school. The range of capabilities among students gets to be enormous ( in public school) by the time they reach fourth grade. There are always some openings at any school from year to year; Families move, educational tastes change, etc. We have been extremely happy with the transition. Our daughter has keenly felt the improvement, right from the beginning. The climate in the classroom and on the playground is drastically better, according to her. The level at which she has been challenged and asked to truly analyze and understand her academic subjects has been refreshing for her and for us. She actually appreciates having more homework, which is far more interesting than the little bit of homework she had last year in third grade at public school. The enrichment classes (science, music, technology, etc.) are a plus and she enjoys them a lot; but they were not the reason for the move. We moved her for the basics nd we are happy with the results.
One caveat, however, is that changing schools for any reason is difficult in fourth grade. Friends are left behind and although she still sees friends from the old school, this has been the most difficult area for her.
It is great that your daughter is able to talk with you about her feelings. I would be curious if there are any religious, socio-economic, or cultural identity differences between your daughter and her peers that she is now trying to sort out. Alternatively, if you find that she is routinely perseverating about whether the school is "right" for her irrespective of positive parts of her experience, you may want to have her screened for OCD. Sometimes that kind of rumination and reassurance-seeking can be a symptom (such as in relationship OCD). The International OCD Foundation has lots of information, referrals and resources if this is part of the picture.
Stop trying to convince her and start just listening. She is doing fine. But she needs to talk about her experience. Have you had an experience in which you felt like you didn’t belong? Ask her if she wants you to share. She is concerned about the friends she left behind. Ask her if there is some action she would like to take in regards to those friends. Just listen and try to understand.
It's absolutely legitimate for your daughter to question why she is going to a private school and to feel out of place there after attending public schools for K-8 and it sounds like, strongly identifying with her peers there. Perhaps it is you who should examine why you are so attached to her going to the private school that you want to insist she complete 4 years there when she is uncomfortable.
Just wondering has anyone asked her where she thinks she belongs, and has anyone tried to make that happen for her? Maybe she just wants to be somewhere else (and that’s ok).
Honestly, I found this letter a bit stressful to read. Why is it a firm requirement that she remain in this school? Is it possible that something has happened or is happening to her that she can’t talk to you about, so she’s asking to escape for a reason she thinks might be acceptable to you?
No one here can answer the question of why she feels she doesn’t belong in this environment - only she can. Have you listened very carefully? Have you asked calm, kind, curious, nonjudgmental questions? If this were my child I would certainly be listening with a very open mind and open heart. Kaisers strike is now over, but there are also many ways to quickly get therapy if your child needs it. I don’t think I’d delay.
Many years ago,my mom pulled my sister and me out of public school and into a private school. My sister graduated from the private school. I couldn't stand it -- I was a hippie kid and the private school did not cater to that. Some of the kids were nice, many were snobs, and I didn't fit in. To be frank, I was badly-adjusted in general (trouble at home) and it showed. My sister had issues as well but covered them.
The schools in my home town had open enrollment, and one of the public high schools was particularly welcoming for kids like me. I pushed to be let out of the private school and go to the welcoming public high school. Best decision I ever made, I got great grades, felt appreciated for who I was, made friends, connected with my teachers, got into Stanford, etc.
My husband, who grew up Quaker, attended a large, well-regarded Quaker high school in Pennsylvania. He was unhappy there, and pushed to attend a different school, a much smaller, more bohemian Quaker high school that he really loved.
We put our daughter in a small private school from PK through middle school. This decision was based on the specific programs at that school; otherwise she would have gone to public school. It was overall a good choice, maybe, in part because she is diminutive and shy. She's at Berkeley High now, and frankly the teachers on average are better than the private-school ones. This was also my experience way back when I chose the public school over the private one.
Parents imagine the teaching is better at private school because they are shelling out all that money. Public-school teachers are profoundly dedicated and generally better-trained than private-school teachers. The real advantages of private school are generally smaller class size and more parental control. In a high-school situation, however, there are fewer course choices simply because private schools are generally smaller.
Private-school kids are more affluent, and the class distinction may look "better" from the parents' standpoint. This may lead to the illusion that, for example, the private-school kids have less access to recreational drugs. My daughter's observation, however, is that the private parochial school many of her private-school friends now attend has at least as much drug use coupled with a lot less education about drug use. Similarly, Berkeley High provides robust sex education, specifically consent education, and access to sexual-health services, which the parochial school doesn't. So far as I know, lack of sex education and sexual-health services does not lead to less high-school sex.
What I'm trying to convey is that the advantages of private over public school are exaggerated. I agree with the other folks responding to your query that you should listen to your daughter. If she's unhappy, she's unhappy, even if the school she's in is great for 95% of the kids there. Frankly, I think you should let her attend the school she wants to attend.