Child Happier at Daycare than at Home

Archived Q&A and reviews ▼

Archived Q&A and Reviews

Questions

7-month-old eats better, sleeps better, never cries at daycare

August 2006

My 7 1/2 month old daughter is apparently a joy at daycare. She eats and sleeps well while there. She plays with the other, older babies (she's the youngest at daycare of four girls). She is loving with everyone at day care and, according to the day care provider, rarely cries. But, as soon as I come to pick her up, she starts crying - especially if I spend some time greeting the other babies or mothers first before picking her up. She seems overjoyed to get to daycare in the morning and reluctant to leave in the evening. I can handle that - I get that she's there more hours in the day than she is with me since I work outside of the home, too. But, I really don't know how to handle her eating habits at home: she eats very well with the provider and will quickly dispense of three bottles and some pureed veggies and fruits. But, all the meals she takes with me either take very long - up to an hour to finish a 7-ounce bottle of formula - or are very painful - she swats the spoon, refuses even food she likes and makes gagging sounds. I know it's not the food because she eats well at day care. What do I do?? Alex


It sounds like your daycare provider just has a lot more on-the-job experience than you do, which is what you want in a day care provider, right? She does this for a living, so she's a pro. You've only been doing it for a few months. If I were you, I would let her know that you're having trouble with a few things and ask her for advice. Ask specific questions about how she does certain things. Maybe you could ask to observe if you can leave work early one day, or go in late. Two things to keep in mind: 1) You don't have to do everything the way the daycare provider does it. Children are very adaptable and can easily accommodate a different style and schedule at home from the one they have at daycare. You'll find what works best for you. 2) The things that are tough right now will probably disappear in three months, to be replaced by completely new tough things! Sigh. That's just the way parenting works. Hang in there. Good luck!
Also a working mom

you know I bet yor baby is not perfect at day care when you are away..... i have seen it all working in the childcare industry at homedaycares and preschool, i loved the kids dearly but i do remember some care givers tellig the parents what they wanted to hear.
Solution: spend a day at daycare witness the ''easyness'' first hand; take a few 1/2 days off and watch for yourself, i bet you get a different story... just my 2 cents DH

Toddler screams that she wants to stay at school

July 2002

I have a 2 month old baby & a 2.5 yr old. My 2.5 year old goes to day care and when I pick her up, she refuses to leave. I have tried a variety of things: pick her up earlier (so I can play with her), pick her up later, bribery (food, favorite toys waiting in the car for her), telling her nicely but firmly, or I just physically pick her up while she screams that she wants to stay at ''school''. I have tried to schedule her pick ups to get home in time to nurse my 2 month old. Most times, we end up staying at the day care for 30 minutes or much longer!

I thought about getting a timer and telling her when the alarm rings that it's time to go but want other thoughts on how to handle the situation. The majority of the time, she listens and follows what I say (she is 2 after all) but this is the only time it is a struggle! Thanks!

My 3 year old used to be the only kid who would sob when I arrived to pick him up. I took advice from one of the preschool teachers and my older son who both recommended having his favorite candy in my hand or promise of an ice cream if he came with me without making a fuss. At first I balked. Then I figured a little sugar was a lot better for both of us than a full-blown melt-down. It worked. Just a note - these things are always in flux. The past week (he's now 4) he decided he didn't want to go to preschool anymore so we're having meltdowns the other way. I hate 4. I can't wait until he grows up a little more... kj

It sounds like your little one is going through a LOT of changes right now. Would it be possible to bring the baby to daycare with you and let her take her time getting ready to go? How about going home and having your mother? aunt? (whomever is taking care of the 2mo) pick up your daughter? How about coming home on the bus or BART? How about bicycling? How about asking her why she doesn't want to leave and seeing what suggestions she has for leaving. kathy