Pregnancy after Adoption

Archived Responses: 

June 2003

I'm seeking advice and support from other moms who got pregnant after adopting one or more children. I'm still in shock, having heard that it only happens 2% of the time. As this pregnancy is very early, I won't publish my name just yet. Thanks!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Your children will have one thing in common from the start--they came when they wanted, not when they were expected. I had an unexpected, successful (but very difficult) pregnancy after adopting two older children. The older children were 6 1/2 and 3 3/4 when their younger brother was born. I'm not sure exactly what your questions are. How did they react? How did I feel? Our oldest child, a boy, was delighted to have a younger brother; the second child, a girl, was disappointed not to have a sister, and really disliked the youngest for several years. However, she and her younger brother have many interests in common--both like to play board games, read Harry Potter, listen to tapes, etc. They have become very close, despite a shaky beginning. Both the older children at times expressed the feelings that we loved the younger one more because he wasn't adopted. I don't think they think that any more (now that they see he has all the same issues--from school to preteen behavior--that they had, and is getting the same parental treatment). Nevertheless, they each have had a very different experience in life because of the adoptions. The older ones deal with questions that the younger one doesn't face--but that's a different topic. I feel very blessed to have all three of them, and I wish you a successful and easy pregnancy.
One of the 2%
Isn't it ironic? I got pregnant 4 months after adopting our first son. I gave birth to a girl and we adopted again after that. Positive thing: breastfeeding.... it was great to be able to nurse. I was even able to nurse our third child. Negative thing: the whole pregnancy felt weird. I was so convinced that I could not be pregnant that it did not feel ''natural'' at all.

There is definitely more to it. It goes deep into your concepts of ''genetics''. It made me realize how much of a better person I am because we adopted too. Adopting a child makes you start off ''fresh'' with a child, no expectations. It's a whole different thing when a child is born to you and when you are surrounded by children born to their families. I'm reading a GREAT book called: ''Talking to young children about adoption'' that helped me understanding a lot of issues. It might help you too. Good luck and e-mail me if you want to know more. marie-claude