Adopting a Child from India
Archived Q&A and Reviews
This is a multiple parts questions. Just to give background, my husband and I have a beautiful 2 year old biological son. We have been trying for a 2nd but have multiple complications. We will be going through our final round of IVF this month but we are also starting to think of adoption. We are from India and would like to adopt a child from there if we decide to adopt but have no clue how or where to start. So...
1. I think we will be good parents but what are the challenges when you have one biologically yours and another who is adopted ? I want to be absolutely sure that we will be ready and accepting. Are there any support groups for ppl just starting to consider adoption ?
2. How do we even start the process ? Which agency to select? How long does it take for Non-resident Indian citizens adopting from India ? How much does it really cost ? How old are the kids ? Thank you for any help.
hi I have friends who have adopted from India. The process is long and arduous. For a while they had halted all adoptions out of the country.I do not know what the situation is now. I am not trying to be discouraging but be prepared for a long drawn out process. I know of friends adopting children of Indian ethnicity born here, in the US. It might be a easier process. Talk to dept of social services-adoption. Good luck. M
I wrote a 2-part article in India-West specifically about Indian Americans adopting from India. Hope it is helpful to you.
Part I http://www.indiawest.com/news/global_indian/indian-americans-embark-on-an-adoption-journey-part-i/article_29816258-ea60-5dcb-94b2-57bea2ab8083.html
Part II http://www.indiawest.com/news/global_indian/adoption-from-india-challenging-journey-for-indian-americans-part-ii/article_7e9e9d52-379b-59ef-9091-13c32249244e.html Lisa
I wrote to a friend of friend who works for a ''home studies'' program for adoptions from India, and who adopted her two children from India quite a number of years ago. Here is what she wrote: ''Unfortunately, kids haven't been placed for almost 2 years from India as they have changed the infrastructure of how they process adoptions and no one is complying. It's a big mess. If the child is special needs or older than 3, they can sometimes be available through the system. Most families who were waiting to adopt from India have moved on to other options at this point and most agencies have stopped keeping a waitlist because they can't give any time frame. If your friend wants more resources she can join the Bay Area I-Child list (she can Google it and ask permission to join) - a group of Bay Area families who have or are trying to adopt from India -- and she can ask any questions she'd like to that group. They are supportive and informative. If she'd like more info on India specifically, she should call Dillon Intl or Holt Intl, as they are the agencies that seem to have the best handle on the up to date info about movement on the adoption front in India. Sorry there is not better news - I feel so lucky every day that I was able to adopt my amazing kiddos.'' - Best to you
I have a friend who just recently adopted a boy from India. It took almost 2+ years and was very complicated and expensive. I can ask her if she can share with you her details. Please let me know Nidhi
My husband and I had been very interested in India as he has Indian heritage, but were discouraged and ended up adopting from China. I have lots of information to provide so you can decide.
India's process is cumbersome, long and unpredictable. You will definitely end up with an older child and maybe with special needs. We know one family who has two daughters who were 3 and 8. They have some serious attachment issues with the older child and both had trauma to overcome.
You must use an agency that works with India. You will find in the Indian community there are a lot of people who will suggest doing things independently. That may be a way to locate a child but you will run into trouble if you don't do the actual adoption through an agency.
Here are 2 sites for more information: Adoptive Families guide: http://buildingyourfamily.com/adoption/international-adoption-countries/india-adoption/
State department site: http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=india
For agencies - contact WACAP in Seattle. We used them for China and they are fantastic -- as a nonprofit that also helps kids, we always felt they were honest and ethical. Talking to their India coordinator is how we decided not to go that route. We know two other families who did the WACAP India program - one was successful but the other was not after 4 years.
With any agency you consider, ask for referrals of clients to interview. While the agency will choose people who had a generally positive experience, we found we got great, candid feedback. Also look for online groups of Indian adopters.
As for adopting for child #2, I am not in that situation, but I can tell you that a lot of people do it and it is just fine. To consider - you will not want to adopt a child older than your biological child as this will create an out-of-order sibling issue. Also, remember that this process can be very rocky and you will want to consider how the emotional ups and downs will affect your state of mind and ability to parent your existing child. We have seen this with other families and it is very difficult.
FInally, I don't want to be discouraging about adoption as I think that it is a wonderful thing. However, you should keep an open mind about where you go to adopt, as you might find that another country (or domestic) may be a more sane, happy option for you.
I want to recommend a couple resources: - PACT in Oakland has great workshops on adopting - Adoptive Families Magazine is a wonderful publication (also with free online resources) and really will open you up to the joy as well as challenges of adopting - Adoption Learning Partners has online training - I see they have one about adopting after infertility. ChinaMom
Hi - We brought our adopted daughter home from India in February. You should start out by talking to a few agencies. They have the resources you are looking for -- support groups, bio vs. adopted, etc. There are 2 in the bay area that have India programs:
1. BAAS in Mountain View - We used them. They are competent but they don't advocate for you. We waited for 2 years to be matched with a child and they did not make an effort to push for us. But, they are ethical and dependable.
2. Across the World Adoptions in Pleasant Hill - I don't know anything about them except that they are local.
Note that your agency doesn't have to be local. One of the leading adoption agencies for India is Holt (I believe they are in Oregon). They would be my top choice.
Start out there. And, get started quickly -- wait times are long. Get your application in (a LOT of paperwork) and then you can use the waiting period to reflect and embrace adoption. We are actually choosing adoption only rather than having any biological children Happy Mom