Your child may have a learning disability that has not been identified. This happened with our son when he was quite young. No matter what we did, he remained unchanged. It was not until we had him assessed that we realized that he had reached capacity and COULDN't do more no matter whether we took things away or rewarded him. Think of it as a child who needs glasses, but you don't realize it and you demand that they read, but they can't see or tire very quickly because their site is not 100%. It doesn't mean you don't have a smart child or one that you worry won't be successful in life. It might just mean that something else is going on and you need to discover what it is in order to help him. Just a thought...

Our bright and stubborn 5th grader is working with Ali Mansour at Firecracker Math.  I learned that me trying to teach my child math is really just a losing battle (and adversely impacts our relationship too).  Last spring, my kiddo was about 1 year behind in math. They had a weekly session with Ali during the summer, and now they are at or even slightly above grade level.  Ali is very kind, patient and super supportive.  He has been amazing!  

This sounds really challenging, and it sounds like you've tried several approaches already without the result you were looking for, and need some new ideas. I think you are on the right path with a tutor to get the parent-child dynamic out of play. You might consider an educational therapist as a level up from a tutor (but usually a bit more expensive), as such a person should be able to address feelings around learning as well as just the learning (I know there are some at Strategies for Learning). Additionally, could your teacher be more of a resource than currently, for supporting your student? I also wonder, if this was happening before the pandemic, is it possible there is a learning challenge of some kind that is making your child shy away from school? It is rare that children truly have "no interest" but when things feel "too hard" anybody will shy away from it - certainly, if you tried to teach me calculus in French, I wouldn't participate in it either. The other day I overheard my perfectionistic kindergartener tell his teacher blatantly that when he answers her question he's just going to "joke around" - not as a disrespectful thing, but I think he was trying to distract from his anxiety that he didn't know the answer. He wanted an out to be able to say "tricked you, I actually knew the right answer." 

Our daughter from age 11 has been working with an excellent Learning Specialist for the past 3 years, Mike L. Miller. She had struggled with math and dealt with slower processing, information retention and anxiety. Initially we were looking for someone to support her outside of school with math concepts and completion of assignments each week. Mike came to us highly recommended by the Education Therapist at my daughter's middle school, who literally referred to him as a "math whisperer". At the time, our daughter had an easy time relating to her peers but interacting with adults was more challenging. Mike was able to establish a great working relationship with her right away with his kind and genuine manner. He is highly intuitive and able to relate well to kids and teens by getting on their level and not talking down to them. My daughter is now a freshman in high school in Oakland and Mike has not only helped her with math but also a variety of other subjects, most recently with English and writing (one of his self-proclaimed passions). We give Mike our highest recommendation. He's not only helped our daughter with her academics but more importantly with gaining confidence in herself and learning. Mike has become an invaluable support system for our family. mikecanhelp.net

Hi,

I have a 6th grader with a Developmental Learning Specialist, Mike L. Miller  who came strongly recommended from my son’s new school.  He is a lifesaver.  My son—who has anxiety, dyslexia, auditory processing disorder, math issues and is weary of school (because he was treated as stupid from a former teacher) is doing extremely well now.  He really likes working with Mike.  Mike takes the time to understand who my son is in order to help him learn and get excited about it.   Mike is also a true professional and is always prepared.  There have been quite a few things to untangle and Mike is truly on top of it.  I get monthly updates via gmail and Mike is always available to answer any questions.  If he is concerned about something, he schedules a phone call.  Mike is a true educator:  He loves getting kids excited about learning, he is a great “detective”, he is a good listener, he is compassionate, he is fun, and he is creative.  Mike also always thinks in terms of my sons best interests.  I have the highest regard for him.    Mike L. Miller, mikecanhelp.net, (415)264-0227