True North Parent Coaching: The 10 Principles of Good Parenting
After over three decades of research on children and families, psychologist Dr. Laurence Steinberg noticed that the scientific evidence linked certain principles of parenting to healthy child development. The connections were so clear and consistent that these same principles could be applied to all families, universally. A family's income, race, single- or two-parent status did not affect the outcome. He talks about these in his book The 10 Principles of Good Parenting.
The list includes:
1. What you do matters.
2. You cannot be too loving.
3. Be involved in your child's life.
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child.
5. Establish and set rules.
6. Foster your child's independence.
7. Be consistent.
8. Avoid harsh discipline.
9. Explain you rules and decisions
10. Treat your child with respect
I LOVE these and while I agree wholeheartedly with Dr Steinberg's list I'd like to add one more. I hope he doesn't mind!
11. Take time to reflect on your parenting.
No one can do all of these principles all of the time. We parents are merely human. If we add reflection to this list we have the best chance of aligning our parenting to these principles most often. Reflection opens the door to more choices in how we handle parenting challenges at all stages of our children's lives. But reflection takes time which, I know, can be a scarce commodity for most parents.
Parent coaching is a one way to ensure you make the time to reflect and do it in a nurturing and supportive way. It is NOT about focusing on what you are doing wrong or how you fall short. It IS about using a positive frame shift to focus on your strengths and what is currently working to build new skills, make sustainable change and see growth in your parenting.