Liane Kerbyson, LPCC: "Mother rage" is both normal and an important sign.

Services for Families
City: 
Berkeley
Ages: 
All Ages

"Mother rage" is a phenomenon that describes the experience of feeling unexpected, out-of-the-blue anger, frustration, and outbursts that seem to happen instantly when our children or partners act in triggering ways.

It's a phrase that's gaining more awareness as it draws attention to the lived experience of many mothers, struggling with the hardest job in the world (if we're trying to do a good job), shouldering countless loads of invisible labor, all the while working to pay the bills and keep ourselves in some semblance of functionality.

And here's something important you should know: Mother rage is completely normal.

There's nothing wrong with you if you experience mother rage.

If you "flip your lid" when you see that the mess that you just tidied is now strewn across the living room floor again.

If you mentally begin to contemplate divorce when you see your husband's underwear on the floor beside the laundry basket and not in it.

If you fantasize about ending up in the hospital for a week with a morphine drip, just to get a break from it all.

You are completely normal for having these feelings, for experiencing "mother rage." And, at the same time, "mother rage" is a big sign and clue that you are in need.

That you can no longer stay inside your nervous system's window of tolerance.

That you might need structural changes in your life to support your mental health.

That you need more skills and tools to strengthen your emotional capacity container.

That you are having a hard time. A really hard time.

"Mother rage" is both totally normal and a sign that it might be time to seek out professional therapy support for yourself so that you can be the good enough mother you hoped and planned (and still hope and plan and can) be.

In therapy, you'll experience:

  • Increased relief and reduced shame from being able to be in a confidential space, sharing your "worst thoughts" and not being judged.
  • Validation; not feeling "crazy" for how angry you get or how dark your thoughts become.
  • Gaining evidence-based tools to help manage your anger and rage.
  • Devloping practical, tangible support identifying the structural changes and issues that may be at play and that may ultimately need to be addressed (such as balancing the invisible labor between you and your partner, setting better boundaries at work, etc).
  • Guidance in how to take care of you and your needs while balancing the Herculean load of motherhood, work, and life in an urban setting.
  • A sense of feeling like the pressure from the InstantPot of your life has finally, thankfully, been released.

I'm Liane Kerbyson, LPCC and I would be honored to be your therapist if you experience "mother rage."

I'm a seasoned, trauma-informed, EMDR-Certified therapist who provides therapy and couples counseling for parents, doing the best that they can.

As a mother of grown children, and as someone who has been in my own marriage for decades, I know the dual joy and strain of raising a family and staying connected to a partner. It's my honor to use my clinical skills and life experience to support both individuals and couples who identify as parents (of children of any age) to have a confidential, safe and supportive space to talk to someone about it all, learn practical, evidence-based tools to manage triggers, and develop skills to foster closer, more fulfilling relationships with the people who matter most to you (but who can also drive you the craziest). 

Contact
Liane Kerbyson, LPCC
liane [at] evergreencounseling.com
‪(510) 214-6981‬